Coming of Age
by Erinskie
Summary: Turning fourteen is a hard time in any girls life. It can be even worse when you can't find yourself amid the confusing structure of your teenage years. At least Scout has her brothers. Continuation of Family Bond. COMPLETE Reviews appreciated!
1. Default Chapter

Coming of Age - Family Bond II 

**Authors Note: **_Please note this is a sister story. This story is a continuation of Family Bond. I would suggest reading Family Bond prior to Coming of Age to learn more about the new character, Scout Marie Curtis, a.k.a Sissy:_

_**In my brother's gang they often called me by my nickname, Sissy. My oldest brother Darrel actually gave me the name when I was about seven. All of the boys in the neighborhood wrestled and played rough... Darry always told me to get into the game. One day I told him I didn't want to get hurt and he has called me Sissy ever since. For the longest time my parents thought he called me Sissy because I was the little sister. They were not to happy to hear the truth later that Darry was actually teasing me **____- Story excerpt from Family Bond _

_Scout is the 'seven minutes younger' twin sister to Ponyboy, her intelligence and common sense levels are higher than her twin's yet she is more analytical like Darry and less creative then Pony. She is very quiet and shy and not a "greaser girl". She is tough when she needs to be, but prefers to stay clear of violence whenever possible. She gets along very well with all of her brothers, even Darry. _

**Chapter one**

Starting again at school on Tuesday, after the guardianship hearing, was the moment I was reminded so vividly that my parents were dead. As I wandered through the day countless teachers and students who I did and did not know would tell me how sorry they were. I know they were only trying to convey their sympathy, but for me each word just made me feel more numb than the moment before. It was true. My parents were gone forever.

The rest of the day was a haze and when I got home I dutifully did my homework and then crawled into bed till the next morning. On Wednesday and Thursday I stayed in bed all day and told Darry I didn't feel well. When he felt my forehead it was warm because I was snuggled into the covers. He gave me some aspirins and went about his day. No one in the family seemed to care or notice until Thursday night. That is when Darry tried to pull me out of bed for dinner.

"Scout if you are sick you need to go to the doctor. Otherwise you need to come and eat."

"I'm just not hungry for dinner." I pulled the covers over my head and wished he would go away. They say there are stages of grieving and no two people grieve alike. I definitely had found myself trapped in the shock and depression phases.

"Girl you need to come and eat something, it will probably make you feel better." Darry called again. "Come on let's go!"

Just to keep Darry from bothering me anymore I crawled out of bed for dinner and ate a little of each thing he had made, then I crawled back in bed. On Friday I finally pulled myself together enough to go to school. Mainly because I didn't want Darry to have to take a day off of work to take me to the doctor. Friday night I did my homework and then went back to bed for the weekend.

I wasn't totally useless to the family. Over the weekend I did everything I was suppose to. I joined the boys for meals, did my chores, cooked or cleaned when it was my turn and then I went back to my room to be alone. I didn't see the problem with my behavior, but Darry sure did.

I came home from school on Monday and plopped my heavy bag of homework down onto the dining room table. We were home later than usual because Two-Bit stayed in the school parking lot and flirted with a group of greaser girls for over an hour. Ponyboy and I finished our algebra together and then he cooked dinner.

I sat at the table slowly completing the last of my assignments when Darry and Sodapop came through the door. The arrival of Soda marked the beginning of chaos in the living room. The guys all began to taunt each other and wrestle around. At first Darry didn't pay much attention to me as he went to his room to put his work stuff away, but the next stop was right by my side.

He looked down at me like an angry dean at a boarding school. "Scout, got your homework done?"

"Yes." I mumbled and threw him my assignment notebook so he could check everything. I wasn't happy with Darry. I felt he was being too pushy. All I wanted was to go to bed and stay there. I didn't see the problem with it. I wasn't costing the family money because I wasn't eating much and I wasn't in the way so everyone else had more space. I was also upset with Darry because over the weekend he made a rule that foiled my plan of solitude. He required me to stay up till at least eight o'clock. So now all I did was sit at the table and wait for the time to pass. I think that annoyed Darry even more then my going to bed early.

"Scout!" Darry barked for my attention. "It says here you have a test over the first three chapters of the book The Grapes Of Wrath."

"Yeah so." I shrugged and picked at the tip of my pencil.

"Yeah So! … You haven't even cracked that book open!" Darry's voice began to rise. "You can't just mope around this house all your life." Darry slammed the notebook down on the table. "Now get your book out and start those chapters."

"I don't need to. I read that book a year ago." I stared at the table not wanting to meet Darry's gaze.

"A year ago!" My oldest brother continued to rant as the boys in the living room quieted down to either hear the argument or to keep from being the next to get in trouble. "Scout! The test isn't going to just have basic questions on it about material you remember from a year ago. They are going to test you on specific things that you will only know from reading the chapter recently!"

I heard what he was saying but all I told myself was that he didn't think I could take care of myself. He didn't think I could get the jobs done that I needed to do. Hadn't he been paying attention over the last weeks since mom and dad died? Hadn't he been paying attention a year ago?

I thought about the Christmas present dad had bought me. I remember opening the paper and noticing the anticipation grin on my dad's face. I read the title of the book. The Grapes of Wrath. It was a thick book with over 600 pages. I could still hear my dad's voice as he sat with his arm around me. "Scout, that there is a favorite book of mine. I was hoping maybe you and I could read it together, out loud. I'll read a chapter to you and then you can read one to me." It took us a few months to find the free time to share that book. Sometimes we read in the living room or in my room. My favorite place we read was in the sunshine on the front porch. I couldn't believe Darry hadn't remembered that was one of dad's favorite books. I couldn't believe Darry would make me read that book knowing it was the last book I had read with our dad.

Darry snapped for my attention. "Scout get those chapters read!"

With Darry pushing me to read the book my emotions filled with anger. Reading that book was just too hard right now. Heck for me being awake was too hard right now. I snapped and screamed at him. "What the hell do you want from me Darry? Huh? I'll take the damn test and I will pass it with an A just like you want me to. So would you just shut up and get off my back?"

The house fell silent. Everyone had heard me yell at Darry and they were waiting on pins and needles to see what would happen next. I still didn't look at Darry. I kind of felt that if I didn't see him he wasn't really there. Besides, looking at him lately only reminded me of my dad, and I wasn't very happy with that man right now. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Ponyboy and Johnny appear in the kitchen doorway to see what was going on.

Darry seemed frozen in his thoughts. I don't think either he or I had ever thought I would yell at him like that. Darry looked down his nose at me and calmly said. "Sissy, go to your room."

"Gladly!" I snapped back and stood up from my chair. I turned to my left and noticed the boys in the living room staring at me. The look on Soda's face caught my attention the most. He looked like someone had just kicked his favorite puppy and there wasn't anything he could do about it. I thought about whether he was on my side or Darry's side. I couldn't tell. As I turned all the way around I noticed Darry towering near me with his arms folded across his chest and eyes staring down at me. I was wrong he didn't look like dad. Dad would have never glared at me like that. I walked into my room and had the satisfaction of slamming both my doors. I crawled into bed. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Just as I had done the days before, the next day was no different. I woke, showered, dressed and went to school. I passed the test on the book just like I told Darry I would. At school for lunch I went to the cafeteria and sat alone at a table in the corner. Even the geeks in school had more friends than me. That was all right, I told myself. I didn't want any friends. The less people around me meant fewer people to please and fewer friends to worry about losing. After school Two-Bit, Johnny, Ponyboy and I came straight home. I liked that. I had plans to finish my schoolwork and go to bed before Darry got home.

I pulled myself up to the table and opened my science book. Ponyboy had finished his school work during study hall so he had the evening free. The guys were busy talking about getting out of the house and going somewhere, but I couldn't hear everything they were saying. I was caught up in my book when a voice made me jump.

"Scout," Two Bit had come to the side of the dining room table. "Hey we are going down to Artie's café… why don't you come along with us. I'll buy you a Coke or some fries or something if ya want."

Politely I refused. "No thanks Two-Bit. I just want to stay home."

Two-bit grabbed a chair and spun it around to sit on it backwards. "See Scout, that's the problem. I think you need to get out and do something. Staying here at home, in bed has just got you all tensed up."

"No it hasn't. I'm fine Two-Bit."

"No you're not. We all heard ya yelling at Darry yesterday."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what Two-Bit…. Darry just didn't know what he was talking about, I don't need to read that book…. I already read it. But do you think Darry remembers that? NO!"

"Now how is Darry suppose to remember if you read that book? You and Pony are always reading a book of some kind."

Thinking back again to reading the book started to bother me. I felt myself becoming upset and snapped at Two-Bit too. "Just get lost Two-Bit!"

"Whoa! What is your problem?" Two-bit snapped back.

I looked over at him as my eyes turned red from tears and I screamed. "I'll tell you what my problem is! My parents are dead! They are dead and gone and I will never get them back. I'll never have my mom to teach me to cook or to sew my wedding gown or to play the piano for……." I steered away from that awful thought and calmed a little bit. "You don't understand Two-Bit, when I am awake I think about the accident. I see the hill, the tracks, the train. I can see inside the windshield and my mind tries to visualize what my parents went through. I see their bodies rocked by the impact and I wonder….." I sniffled as my voice cracked. "I wonder if they had time to think of us. I wonder if they actually did die right away or did one of them have to look over and see the other dead. I just can't get those images out of my mind and they hurt so bad." I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "But when I'm asleep…. none of it hurts…. you can't feel pain when you are asleep."

I looked over at Two-Bit's face which had a sick, white blank look to it. I don't think he had ever thought that I would be suffering in that way. I glanced over his shoulder at Johnny and Ponyboy on the couch. Pony's face was tense as if he was holding back tears himself. I knew that he understood what I was going through, Pony and I always understood each other.

Through my tears I went back to answer a question from earlier. "I don't want to read the Grapes of Wrath. I already read it. Last year, don't you remember?" Two-bit shook his head no so I reminded them. "Dad and I sat out on the front porch and read it together. I already read that book with my dad and I don't think I will ever read it again…. you know what I mean?" I tearfully looked at the older greaser in front of me. Most people would consider him a hood, and he was, but he had good qualities too. Two-Bit was caring and a good listener and he always seemed to know what people needed to cheer them up. This time was different though. He was speechless.

Two-Bit stood up, put his jacket on and eyed me for a moment. I caught the stare from his round green eyes and directed mine to my book in front of me to pretend like I had returned to reading it. Two-Bit cleared his throat. "Well I guess if you won't go with us on your own I'm gonna have to force you." With a smile on his face he reached down and hoisted me off the chair and over his shoulder. "Grab the door boys!" He called to Johnny and Ponyboy as he slapped my on the butt. "We're going out and she's coming with us."

Johnny and Ponyboy were caught off guard at Two-Bit's tactics, but they were followers and they would do whatever Two-Bit wanted to do. Johnny jumped from the couch and swung the front door open and held the screen door.

"Two-Bit!" I stared to kick and wiggle. "Put me down! I'm not going anywhere!"

I could hear Two-Bit giggling. "Nope you're not going anywhere, you're going with us to Artie's!"

"Ponyboy! Tell him to put me down. I still have homework to do."

Ponyboy wiped his eyes and followed me out the front door. He was still upset from my comments and he didn't say anything. By the time we reached Two-Bit's car I gave up the fight. I could pout just as well at the café as I could at home. I climbed into the back seat with Johnny as Ponyboy jumped into the front.

"Hey Two-Bit," Pony lit up a cigarette to calm his nerves. "Stop by the DX I need to get some money from Sodapop."


	2. Chapter two

Chapter two 

The drive to the DX was short. When we arrived a crowd of teenagers already packed the lot. Two-Bit pulled in front of the station's garages and he, Pony and Johnny got out of the car to talk with Soda and the others.

I rested my head on the back of the driver's seat and looked out the window. Steve's girlfriend Evie was there along with the blond that Soda was crazy about, Sandy. I noticed Curly Sheppard and his neighbors Jim and Jon Weston. Then I saw James, the boy who had asked me to dance. I had seen him a few times at school over the past week and ignored him so I was sure he wouldn't be talking to me again. I watched Soda give Pony money and Two-Bit told Soda something and then pointed to the car.

Soda left the pack of kids and swaggered over to the car. I sat back in the seat and slouched down as if I was hoping he wouldn't see me. Soda pulled open the drivers side door and knelt on the front seat looking back at me. I just stared back at him with a look of annoyance on my face.

"Scout it's good to see you out of the house!" Soda smiled.

"Yeah, well I didn't and don't want to be here so why don't you tell Two-Bit to hurry it up so I can get home." I huffed. It wasn't fair to be mean to everyone, but when you are depressed and angry sometimes you do things you aren't proud of and can't seem to control.

"Come on now. Just go out and have a good time, you'll feel better." Soda tried to cheer me up. "That kid James has been asking about you. He seems like a real nice guy. I bet he'd go to Artie's with you guys!"

"No." I tried to ignore the radiant charm of my brother by staring at the back of the seat.

"Sissy, you have got to stop sulking! You know dad wouldn't have wanted you to be sulking like this." Sodapop made a poor assumption. He knew how much impact dad had on all of our lives and any other time his tactic may have worked, but not now. Now I was angry with dad. I had needed someone to blame for my pain and my parent's death. For the past few days I had convinced myself that none of this would have happened if my dad had been more responsible. The accident was his fault. Their deaths were his fault. My pain was his fault and I was angry.

I sat up and yelled back at my brother. "What the hell do I care what dad would have wanted? You know what Soda, all of this is dad's fault! I hate him!"

The words cut through Soda and he was shocked. You just didn't say that stuff about Soda's favorite guy. "You take that back Scout."

"No! I won't. Don't you see Soda?" I became belligerent and raised my voice. "He killed our mother! He was probably messing around and not being careful and he killed her … and he killed himself too. I hate him! I hate him for doing that to us!"

Outside almost everyone had heard my words. Inside Soda was mortified by them. I saw his carefree eyes lose their expression and turn to ice. He probably could have cussed me out, but I don't think he wanted to waste his words on me just then. Instead he just got up and slammed the car door behind him. I looked out the window at him as he walked into the garage and away from his friends. Steve and Ponyboy followed my brother into the station.

I thought about my words and realized how much I was hoping that hating dad would make me feel better. I needed the accident to be someone's fault. I needed to blame someone for all the pain I was feeling. I thought about sitting in the sun and reading with my dad. I thought about how he would poke me in the side and make me giggle or kiss me on the top of the head and tell me I was his angel. Soon the emotions that only a few minutes ago were anger and rage were now horrible pains of guilt. My throat got tight and I leaned forward with my head in my hands and sobbed. Now the family was in pieces and it was my fault. I was to blame and I felt the guilt from my actions. If there were truly stages of grieving I was working my way through them. I had felt denial, shock, loneliness, depression, anger and guilt. Now there were only two choices. I could linger in depression or move on to accept the fact that my parents were dead and it was nobody's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault and I truly knew that.

I sat there and cried as loud and as hard as I could. I even screamed when I felt like it. After a long time I breathed in and relaxed, then I repeated my action. Slowly calming myself and coming to the acceptance of my parent's death. I wiped my eyes and looked out the window. I could tell the band of greasers outside were watching me. I was sure they were all talking about the accident. I had to grow up and face the truth. I wiped my eyes and nose and pushed the car door open. I avoided the crowd and walked into the station through the garage door looking for my brothers.

I looked inside near the counter and saw Steve, Pony and Soda in a low conversation and I quietly interrupted. I whispered and felt my throat tighten. "Soda?….." My brothers turned to look at me. "I… I didn't mean what I said about dad." My eyes welled up again with hot tears. "I was just angry… you guys I am sorry for saying that….. I …. I … just miss them….."

Ponyboy walked over and grabbed me in his arms and hugged me. "Don't worry about it Scout." He tried to comfort me, but only I would be able to erase the guilt I felt for my poor behavior over the past week. "We know you have been having a rough time. We all have."

"Ya'll sure don't show it." I pulled my emotions back inside and straightened myself up as Pony let me go. I looked over at Soda who was still leaning on the counter looking at me. "Soda I am really sorry."

"I know." He said without his trademark smile. My words had hurt him and I could tell he was still angry. I knew I was going to have to just forget about it because by the time he got home Soda wouldn't be angry anymore.

"Come on let's get out of here." Ponyboy directed me to the door. "Soda gave me a couple dollars and if you stand here and piss him off some more he'll probably ask for them back."

Ponyboy's sarcastic comment brought a smile to Soda's face. "Yeah you two better get out of here and let me work." Soda walked around the counter and pushed us out the door as he and Steve followed us out.

Ponyboy walked over by Johnny's side and I walked back to the car. I stopped before pulling the door open and took note of the warm day and the bright sun. I thought of how much it was a metaphor for brighter days ahead. Pulling on the handle I noticed the door wasn't opening as I had expected.

"Need some help?"

I looked over to see James leaning up against the door holding it shut.

I half smiled. "No. If you get off the door I will be just fine."

"How about I get off the door if you promise to stop ignoring me all the time." James smiled back.

I turned toward him and leaned up against the car. "I haven't been ignoring you. I have just been a little preoccupied, that's all." James looked different in the sun then he did at the dance. His hazel eyes looked good with his green t-shirt and I liked the way his hair was greased back and ended in little curls. I had to give him credit for his perseverance. Most guys wouldn't pursue a basket case like me.

"Well if your not preoccupied anymore why don't you come with me and the guys to the Dingo."

"Can't! Sorry already got plans." I played hard to get.

"How bout tomorrow then?" James smiled hoping to lure me into a date. He had a good smile too. His teeth were straight and white and his cheeks had little dimples when he grinned. "My friends and I will pick you up at your house at about seven and we will go to a movie."

"Sorry, I can't accept dates without my brother's approval."

"Sodapop is the one who told me to come and take you out." James thumbed back at the gang. I looked in that direction to see everyone once again focused on what I was doing.

"Well here's your problem. Soda's not the boss of me and house rules say I can 't date till I'm fourteen." I laughed thinking about how James was going to figure out that dilemma.

"Well I hear that's just a few weeks away, so I'll see ya then." With that he turned and left. I got back into the car and thought about the boy. He was cute and he liked me. I guess that was a good start.


	3. Chapter three

**Chapter three**

For the rest of the week I forced myself out of bed in the morning to go to school. I went to lunch with Ponyboy and the gang at the store and even smiled at James when I passed him in the hall. Each time I saw him he would say, "just a few more weeks." At night I stayed up with the boys and watched them horse around or play cards. I even apologized to Darry for my bad behavior. He didn't seem to want the apology, but I felt better telling him. Late one night I told him why I didn't want to read that book for school and he understood.

As the days grew into weeks the house seemed to feel less empty. There was always something going on or somewhere to go or someone to go with. I was feeling braver too. With my parents deaths I realized how unpredictable and short life could really be. I wanted to make an effort to be less shy and make some friends of my own. Darry said the best way to do that would be to get involved in a club or sport at school.

Saturday night I sat on the couch eating popcorn trying to think of what kind of activity I should get involved in at school when Sodapop came home from work.

"Hey there Scout! No where to go tonight?" Soda asked as he took off his shoes, work shirt and hat. His girlfriend Sandy, Steve and Steve's girlfriend Evie followed him into the house.

"No." I answered and Steve plopped down on the couch next to me and helped himself to my snack.

"What are you doing just sitting here?" Steve drawled as Evie cuddled next to him and Sandy sat in the arm chair waiting for Soda to shower and change so they could all go out somewhere.

"Nothing much." I sighed and thought about telling Steve what I was thinking. I liked Steve. He was always like a brother to me so I could trust him. "I was just thinking of something in school I could get involved in, like sports or something."

Soda yelled from the kitchen. "Scout where is Ponyboy?"

"He went out with Dally and Johnny somewhere. Oh and Darry called and he has to work a double shift so everyone is just fixing their own dinner tonight." Soda didn't respond, but I knew he heard me.

"So whad ya come up with?" Steve asked as he shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"I don't know. I really can't think of anything I am good at."

Steve looked at me funny. "Are you serious?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why what do you think I am good at?"

"Damn near everything!"

"Shut up!" I laughed and playfully pushed him.

Soda walked into the room dressed in just his jeans and a towel over his shoulder. "What's going on?"

Steve laughed and talked with his mouth full of food. "Scout wants to join a club or something at school, but she can't think of anything she is good at."

"Ya oughta join the pain in the butt club!" Soda cracked. "You're good at that."

"Whatever Soda." I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously," Steve said, "you are good at a lot of things."

"Like what?" I wanted to hear what kind of ideas he might have.

"Like singing." Steve said. "Everyone loved to hear you sing the National Anthem at Darry's football games. Didn't Mrs Brehm even ask you to join the choir last year or something?"

"Yeah," Soda added before I could answer Steve's question. "And you are good at gymnastics."

"You could be a cheerleader." Sandy joined into the conversation. They do a lot of gymnastics and stuff and you're real pretty."

I smiled over at her. She was pretty too, in a greaser girl sort of way. It was funny how I never considered myself to be pretty, heck a month ago I wouldn't have even cared. Things were changing though and the more I heard that I was pretty the more I realized I may have even been as good looking as Soda. The boys laughed and Soda sat on the arm of the chair Sandy was sitting in. "Cheerleading is for Socs. I don't think in the history of cheerleading there has ever been a greaser cheerleader."

"Are you saying it can't be done?" Evie asked.

"No, I'm just saying that the girls who get to be the cheerleaders are the rich ones." Soda answered her.

I thought about Darry and how he didn't care who he was or where he lived when he tried out for the football team. All Darry knew was that he was strong and wanted to play. I wished I had the confidence that Darry had.

"What about Shelia Graber?" Evie shot back. "She was from over on Ida Ave., that's not a soc area."

Steve looked over at his girl. "Yeah and it's not a greaser area either."

She looked back at him and caressed the side of his face with her hand. "All I am saying is Scout could try if she wanted to." Then the two of them kissed. I looked away and worried that the two of them would be making out in the next minute or two.

Soda noticed my displeasure being so close to the lovebirds and laughed. "What about track? You are pretty fast like Pony is."

"I don't know. Running around in a circle doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me."

Steve came up for air from the French kiss he was sharing with Evie. "I hear you there! Track is pretty boring. Almost as boring as chess tournaments!"

Soda laughed. "There ya go Sis! You could join the chess club!"

I laughed along with Soda, but in truth I had actually considered that. I enjoyed chess the way that Soda enjoyed drag racing. It was a competition that made a person think and I liked that.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Soda stood up and turned toward me. "Scout why don't you come out with us tonight and have some fun."

I thought about what the night would be like sitting in the car while the two couples made out all night. "Nah I don't think so, you guys just go have good time."

Soda leaned up against the piano. "Really you should get out of the house and do something. You are always left behind and without mom and dad here there isn't anyone for you to be with."

"Don't worry about it So, I'll be fine."

"You'll be fine because you are going with us, so go get your shoes on!" Soda didn't wait for me to refuse. He walked into the bathroom as I heard the sound of the front gate opening up outside. I turned and looked out the window to find Pony, Johnny and Dally coming into the house.

Dally sat in mom's chair and looked over at Steve. "Where ya guys headed tonight?"

"I don't know." Steve said. "I think we are going down to 10th street to see if there are any drag races or something going on. How bout you all?"

Dally struck a match on the flint that hung around his neck. "We heard the Weston boys are throwing a little party at their house so we are going to head over and see what's up."

Steve looked over at me. "A party sounds perfect. Scout why don't you go get your shoes and go with them?" I knew Steve didn't want me to hang out with him and Soda. That was OK with me though because I didn't want to hang out with them either. Steve looked towards Dally. "Scout can go with you right?"

Dally looked over at me and curled his lip. "Yeah we can take the little tag along with us." Dal took a drag on his weed and added. "Keep quiet about stuff though. I don't want you to be telling Darry everything and getting us all in trouble and stuff."

Before I could tell Dally that I wasn't interested in going Ponyboy yelled from the kitchen. "Where is Darry? It's his turn to cook dinner."

I stood up from the couch because I was starting to feel crowded by Steve and Evie. "He called a little bit ago and he has to work a double shift so you have to fix your own dinner."

Ponyboy shot back. "If you knew he wasn't going to be here why didn't you cook?"

"I just didn't feel like cooking is all." I said as the door to the bathroom swung open and Soda came out in a towel with his jeans over his shoulder.

"Sandy!" He flashed a wicked smile and grabbed her hand. "Why don't you come and help me pick out my clothes." I watched as Soda and Steve exchanged winks and Sandy trotted off with my brother to his room.

I thought. Oh mercy I gotta get out of here!

Dally stood up and pulled the door open. "Come on you two let's get out of here so I can find my own broad to nail tonight." Pony and Johnny obediently headed toward the door. Dally paused at the door as if I was holding him up. "Scout you coming or not?"

I thought about my options and preferred the thought of going to a party then staying home with my brother and his friends. "Yeah I'm coming." I ran back to my room and slipped my tennis shoes on and grabbed a little blue sweater to keep me warm.

We had to walk the eight blocks to the Weston's house and listen to Dally talk about a jockeying job he had a few days before. Half way there Dally got hungry so we walked three blocks out of the way to the Dingo for some burgers. Everyone was broke except Dally, so he bought for everyone with the money he had earned in the horse race. Dally was a pretty rough guy, but he was loyal to everyone in the gang and would always protect us. Especially Pony, me and Johnny because we were the youngest. I respected him for that.


	4. Chapter four

Chapter four 

The party was in the neighborhood where Tim Sheppard's gang roamed the streets. We got to the house and could hear the loud music and rowdy behavior as we walked up the front steps. Dally opened the front door with out knocking and we all went in.

The house was full of people playing cards, smoking, dancing and drinking. I looked up at Ponyboy and was relieved to see that he looked as nervous to be there as I did. We were still pretty young and I had never been to a party like this. Our parents would never have let us go and Darry would not be please to hear this was where we were.

Curly Sheppard came strolling down the stairs and noticed Ponyboy standing near the front door. "Curtis! How ya doing?" Curly threw his arm around my brother and I could smell the liquor on his breath. "Why don't ya come back to the back porch and … whoa whose the chick?" Curly said and stumbled my way. Pony and Johnny laughed at him.

"Come on Curly." Pony seemed to have straightened up to look tougher. He was more relaxed now that he knew someone at the party. "That's my sister Scout, and stay away from her." Ponyboy pulled the drunk teenager away from me.

Curly looked up at my brother. "I don't remember your sister looking that good."

Pony ignored the comment and pushed Curly in the direction of the back porch. Johnny followed in the same direction and called to me. "Come on Scout, don't get lost." Johnny grabbed my hand as we cut through the living room full of people.

I followed the three to a room at the back of the house filled with old patio furniture and kids I recognized from school. Curly made a few drunk introductions as we came in. "Everwee one! Tis is Ponyboy and his friends." Curly jestered toward Johnny and I and then back toward the dozen kids sitting around the room. "… and this is everyone elf."

The boys found a few empty chairs around the room and sat down. I backed up by the doorway and stood against the wall. From across the room a greaser girl asked me if I wanted a beer. "No thanks, " I said trying to be cool and fit in. Then I realized that not drinking was probably not the cool thing so I added. "… maybe in a little bit." I knew that was a lie because I wasn't planning on drinking at all.

The room was filled with about six greaser girls who had their blouses unbuttoned way to far and their skirts pulled up way to high. I thought about me in my white t-shirt and baby blue sweater. I probably looked like a church girl to these chicks. I checked out the guys too. On one side of the room near Johnny and Ponyboy I noticed Jon Weston. He was an ugly boy with really bad acne. I recognized a few of the other boys from school and football games but I wasn't sure of their names. On the other side of the room were two boys I had never seem before and then a third guy caught my eye. I recognized those green eyes and dimples and had to smile back.

James stood up and walked over to me. He was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans and a white t-shirt and looking at him made me feel flush. He put his hand on the wall behind me and leaned his sixteen year old body in close. "Hey there? I didn't think you came to places like this."

I smiled back. "And what kind of place would this be?"

"A rough one." He answered. "A girl shouldn't be at a loud party like this without someone to look after her."

I looked at him assuredly. "I came with my brother and his friends so I'll be ok."

James stood up from leaning in towards me and threw his hands in the air. "Alright if you don't need any company…."

I smiled back at him. "I didn't say I wouldn't enjoy the company."

"Cool." He said. "Why don't I go find you a cold Pepsi then."

"I'd like that." I said and James walked away being sure to rub my hand with his as he left the room. Him touching my skin sent unfamiliar sensations thought my body. I watched him walk into the kitchen and then turned back to the room to find a black hair greaser girl waiting to confront me.

"What was that all about?" She snorted and smacked her gum.

I was naïve and a little confused by the question. "Nothing…he's just going to get me a Pepsi." My polite smile was wasted on the girl.

"Listen here ya little hussy." She continued to smack her gum as she got sassier. "You're gonna need to wait your turn because I've had my eye on him since he moved in here, ya hear me?"

"OK?" I answered unsure of what she thought was going on. "He's just getting me a cola."

"Yeah right, whatever?" One of the girl's friends had come by her side. "Aren't you that girl he was dancing with at the bowling alley a few weeks ago?"

Having not gotten out of the house much I was surprised by how observant and possessive these girls were. I was stunned by why it mattered that I had danced with him and I forgot to answer.

"See Cindy! I told you." The friend continued. "She's the reason he won't go out with you. This is the girl."

"Are you that girl?" Cindy asked and poked me hard in the chest with her index finger.

I pressed up against the wall and tried to excuse myself. "Would you excuse me please, I'm gonna go…" I tried to step away into the doorway but Cindy grabbed a handful of my t-shirt and tugged me back into the room.

"He's mine! Ya hear me?"

"Yeah fine, whatever." I rolled my eyes and tried to pull away again and the girl slapped me in the face.

I was shocked by the attack and before I could think to react Johnnycakes had stepped into the fight and pushed Cindy away. "Leave her alone." He seemed to growl and there was a defensive glare in his eye. Johnny Cade who wouldn't hurt anyone or even stand up to his abusive parents was on his feet defending me.

Ponyboy stood by backing Johnny up if he needed it.

Cindy and her friend grabbed their purses and stormed past us out of the room. "Tramp!" Cindy hissed as she passed by me. I didn't know what to think. All I could think about was her using the word tramp out of context. I knew what a tramp was, and it wasn't me!

"What did you say to her?" Pony asked and he seemed a little embarrassed that I had caused such a scene.

I thought about the situation. "Nothing… She came up to me!"

James came up behind the three of us. He had seen the entire altercation. "Don't worry about it Ponyboy. Cindy is just a whore looking for trouble. I'll look after Scout for you."

James handed me the cold bottle of Pepsi and took me by the hand before Pony could say anything. He leaned close and yelled in my ear over the loud music. "Let's get out of here. My house is just down the street." James pulled me all the way out of the house and we headed down the front steps to the sidewalk. Once we were under the street lights he turned to me to examine my cheek. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I rubbed my right cheek. "I don't know what I said to make her mad, and I certainly didn't mean to cause such a scene."

James laughed. "Don't worry about it. She had it coming anyway. Cindy has a thing for me, but I can't stand her." He laughed and we walked hand in hand. I noticed how soft and warm his hand felt holding mine. "Are you sure your ok?"

I put the cold bottle of Pepsi to my cheek. "I'll be fine."

We walked in silence before James started up conversation again. "So why did you come to the party tonight?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. My brother Sodapop kind of forced me out of the house. I just decided to hang with Ponyboy and this is where we ended up." I looked over at James who had a grin on his face. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," he said, "I was just hoping you'd say you came looking for me."

I leaned away from him and he pulled me back. "Well I didn't, but it is nice to see you this evening."

James laughed out loud this time.

"What?" I demanded to know why he laughed every time I spoke to him.

"Nothing." He stopped in front of a gray house. "It's just that everything you say sounds so … out of place for this neighborhood. You are always using manners and talking proper. I just think it's cute."

"Well I'll try to be more trashy in the future!" I joked.

"Nah, we've got plenty of that around here." We walked up the front steps to his house and sat on a wooden porch swing that hung from the ceiling.

It was my turn to start conversation. "So do you have any brothers or sisters?"

James continued to hold my hand as we swung back and forth. "No, just me and my mom. She just married a guy, that's why we moved here."

"Where did you live before?"

"We actually lived here in Tulsa across town in a little trailer park." James smiled and looked up at his slightly run down house. "So actually this is a step up."

I smiled at him and a cool breeze forced me to shiver.

"Are you cold Scout?" My shiver gave James a reason to move closer to me. He took his jacket off and draped it over my shoulders. He stopped the swing and leaned in close to me. "Is that better?"

I looked over at him. He was gentle and my heart started to flutter a little as my hands started to sweat. I had never been this close to a boy and had no idea what to expect or to do. "I'm warm, thank you."

"There you go being all proper again." James dimples reappeared as he grabbed my bottle of Pepsi and put it on the wooden floor of the porch. Then he put his hand on my leg, leaned in close and slowly kissed me on the lips.

I kissed him back and felt my breath disappear for a moment and then rush back to be as the kiss ended and James pulled away and smiled. I looked back at him. It was my first kiss and I had no idea what to say or do next.

James grinned. "I know you're not fourteen and all yet, but I couldn't wait another week to do that."

"I said I couldn't date till was fourteen. I don't think my family has a rule on kissing." I said and stared into his eyes.

"Well in that case…" James kissed me a second time in which I was now a more willing participant. Instead of reeling in my mind I took a moment to notice how the kiss was as soft and gentle as his hands. I was hoping to get lost in the moment when a familiar voice broke into my thoughts.

"Oh Lordy! Is that you Sissy?" Hearing my nickname I jumped off the swing and about out of my skin. I looked out into the dark to see Two-Bit drinking a beer and Tim Sheppard standing a few feet away on the sidewalk. When Two-Bit was sure it was me he broke out into a solid laugh. "Oh now… don't let me interrupt you two kids." Two-Bit pointed back to James on the swing. "Go on now… as you were." Two-Bit cracked himself up again.

Immediately I was embarrassed and I jumped off the porch into the yard and sneered at Two-Bit. "That's quite alright Two-Bit, we were done anyway." I hated the fact that he had seen us kissing. I knew he wouldn't keep quiet. I swear with the gang of guys in my family the only thing I had that was private were my own thoughts.

Two-Bit looked over at Tim. "Awe … I think we spoiled the mood."

James climbed off the swing and joined me in the front yard. "We were headed back to the party anyway."

Two-Bit, who was clearly drunk, threw his arm around my shoulder. "Come on baby! Let me walk you back."

I walked back to the Weston house with Two-Bit's arm slung over my shoulder and Tim and James walking nearby. I didn't want to go inside. I knew Two-Bit would blab about what I was doing as soon as he saw Ponyboy. All I could hope for was that the man was too drunk to remember what happened five minutes ago.

We walked in the front door and ran right into Dally who was headed upstairs with a greaser girl. There was no doubt in my mind he was headed that way to accomplish his goal for the evening. Upon seeing me come in with Two-Bit he stopped. "Whoa whoa whoa…Scout where were you?"

"I'll tell you where she was!" Two-Bit yelled louder than necessary! "I found her down the street making out with this kid." Two-Bit spun around to point to James who was nowhere to be found.

Dally cocked his head. "That's great." He pointed at me. "I heard about your little fight in the back room. You stay out of trouble or Darry'll bust my head in for bringing you here. Stay close too, were leaving in about an hour." Dally didn't wait for me to respond and he trotted up the stairs to a vacant room.

Two-Bit kept his arm around my neck and we wandered through the living room to the dining room. He said hi to the friends he knew and "hey baby" to the girls he wished he knew. We found Ponyboy, Johnny, Curly and the better looking Weston boy sitting at the table playing poker. I escaped from Two-Bit's grasp and pulled a chair up next to Ponyboy who looked over at me.

"Where ya been?"

"Just went for a walk with James." I answered. Pony didn't ask anymore questions and Two-Bit had forgotten what he wanted to tell Johnny and Ponyboy. I was certainly thankful for that! In the next hour I stayed by Ponyboy's side and looked around for James. I didn't see him the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter five

Chapter five 

Sunday morning I woke up and laid in bed thinking of the kisses that James and I had shared the night before. I have always heard that you will never forget your first kiss and I think who ever said that knew what they were talking about! I couldn't get it off my mind.

I looked over at the kitchen door as Pony wandered into my room. "Johnny and I are going to church in an hour if you want to go with us." Pony and I shared a strong faith in God. In last few weeks that faith was the only thing I had to pull me out of bed some mornings.

"Yeah sure," I sat up, "I'll go."

Even though you should, we never dressed up for church. We just wore our regular jeans and t-shirts. Besides, we had to walk eighth blocks to get there.

Johnny showed up at the house, Ponyboy yelled to Darry that we were leaving and we started walking. Immediately Ponyboy lit up a cigarette for himself. "So what was the ruckus all about last night with you and that girl?"

I walked between the boys with my hands shoved in my coat pockets just like Johnny. "I don't know. She was mad because I was dancing with James at the dance a few weeks ago. She was just jealous or something."

"I can see why." Johnny blurted out and Pony and I looked at him wondering exactly what he meant. "I just mean you are a real pretty girl and she wasn't. She doesn't stand a chance against you."

I smiled, I sure was getting used to being told how pretty I was.

Pony added. "I don't think you ought to be dating him."

Johnny and I shared a look of confusion. Pony noticed, "he runs with the Sheppard gang and as much as I like Curly and all… that gang is a tough one."

Pony had a good point. They were a tough gang who were often caught up in weapon fights, robberies and car thefts. I thought about James and replied. "James is different then those guys. He doesn't seem tough at all…. kind of like you Pony."

My comment was sincere. He did seem gentle like my brother, but Ponyboy didn't like being called gentle. He wanted to be tough like the other boys in the gang. "I'm just as tough as everyone else in the gang!"

"Yeah right," I laughed at him a little. "That's why we are all walking to church together."

Ponyboy didn't argue and Johnny didn't stick up for him. I was right and we all knew it.

Halfway through the service I noticed how attentively both Johnny and Pony were listening to the sermon. I wasn't listening much. I really came to church more for the quiet peaceful time then the sermons. Today my mind drifted to memories of the first day Ponyboy and I first met Johnny Cade.

He was born in our neighborhood just like us, but it was one of those things where you can live near someone, but don't meet for a long time. Pony and I were young, about five years old. I just know we were old enough to go to the lot with Soda and Darry keeping their eye on us.

While the older boys played football Pony and I were swinging on the tire swing. I was in the middle of the tire and Pony was riding on the top and pulling on the rope to make the tire go when we first noticed the little boy sitting on his front steps. Pony wanted to go and say hi so he jumped off the top of the swing. It was a high jump and Pony's legs buckled underneath him as he hit the ground. He rolled in the dirt and then popped up on his legs and looked back at me with an embarrassed smile. I never jumped off the tire swing like my brothers. I reached my foot down into the dirt and grass and slowed the swing before climbing off.

Together Pony and I walked over to a row of bushes near the boy's house. This was the first time we had gotten a good look at him. He was wearing torn black pants and a red t-shirt. He had a darker complexion then any other boy in the neighborhood and the blackest eyes I had ever seen.

"What's your name?" Ponyboy called from the side of the yard. Our parents taught us that we don't go into other yards without permission.

The little boy looked over at my brother, but didn't answer.

Pony and I shared a glance. At this point in our lives we were the same height. We didn't know if the boy was deaf or just ignoring us. So Pony yelled louder.

"Hey you! What's your name?"

The boy stood up from the steps where he was sitting and walked over to us trading his gaze half to the ground and half to us. "Johnny…. Johnny Cade." The boy's voice was so soft that Pony and I thought he was whispering.

Pony handled the introductions. "I'm Ponyboy Curtis and this here is my sister Scout." Pony pointed his thumb in my direction. "How long you lived here?"

Johnny Cade stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." The little boy mumbled. By his size I figured he was going to be in kindergarten just like us.

Pony cocked his head to the side and questioned. "How come you don't know how long you lived here?"

Johnny raised his eyes to meet Pony's eyes. "Just been here all my life is all."

That answer satisfied Pony's need to know. "You wanna play?"

"Sure." Johnny smiled and was missing his two front lower teeth.

Before we could leave the yard a tall dark skinned man just like Johnny came storming out of the house towards us. He seemed mighty angry and Ponyboy and I backed up a few steps. I even hid behind my brother a little bit. We heard Johnny's dad yelling. "Boy didn't I tell you to clean the bathroom?" Before Johnny had a chance to answer his father hoisted him off the ground by his right arm and dragged him across the yard throwing him when they were close to the house. Johnny landed funny on the front steps and before he could scramble to his feet his father smacked him a good one upside his head. The crack of the slap made me jump from my skin. Ponyboy and I had never seen anything so horrible in all of our young lives and we quickly left the yard before the man got mad at us for no good reason too.

We told our parents about what happened and Soda mentioned that he knew that boy from school. They were in the same grade. Most of the days the boy never showed up for school and when he did he usually had a bruise of some kind. Hearing that broke my parent's hearts and they told Ponyboy and I to invite Johnny to come and play at our house. The next day we did and we have all been great friends ever since.

He, Pony and I played together all the time. Except when the guys created boys only clubs and I had to go home and be alone, but that didn't happen often. It didn't take long for the little black eyed boy to become part of our family either. My mom paid a lot of attention to him because she understood how poor his home life was and Johnny listened to her when she told him things. She was the one who gave him the nickname, Johnnycakes.

As the choir sang out the final hymn for the service I thought about my parents and how much Johnny must miss them too. He needed them as much as we did. My parents took care of Johnny, looked out for him, and he trusted them.

We walked the first few blocks home in silence. Each of us used the quiet time for our own thoughts. Then I noticed a black Cadillac drive by and was reminded of Kathryn. "Hey Pony?" I waited for his attention. "Do you think Darry is ever going to call Kathryn again?"

Pony shrugged. "Probably not. He probably thinks he's too busy or something to call her."

"I wish he would. I really like her."

"Yeah," Ponyboy agreed with me. "How do you like Soda's new girl Sandy?"

"I don't know…. she seems nice enough." I answered.

"Yeah she seems cool. Soda sure digs her. I think he has seen her almost everyday since they met."

I thought about my brothers and their girls. Truth was Darry liked Kathryn but he felt with three kids and two jobs he was too busy to make a relationship work. Kathryn respected Darry's decision and the two had seen each other only a handful of times since the court hearing. I wished he would make more time for her because she was so sweet. I also liked having another girl around the house.

Sodapop's girl Sandy was ok. She liked me pretty good, but there was something about her that made me like Kathryn more. Kathryn had goals and ambitions. Sandy seemed to live for the moment. She was also a rougher girl then Kathryn. Sandy had a poor home life like a lot of the girls in the neighborhood. She liked to get rowdy and loud with the boys and sometimes drink and curse. I liked the more refined behaviors that Kathryn possessed.

When we got home the house was full of people. Darry had lunch cooking in the oven and he was sitting in the arm chair reading the Sunday paper. Soda, Sandy and Steve were on the couch, Evie was working. Dally was even there in mom's chair watching TV and Two-Bit was sitting on the floor eating some chocolate cake.

"Hey ya'll," Pony yelled out as he walked in followed by Johnny and then me. I looked around the room. Everyone was grinning as if they had a secret…. oh no! Two-Bit!

I shut the door behind me and tried to head right to my room without success.

"Hold on a minute Scout." Darry called out. I stopped and looked directly at Two-Bit who was trying his best not to laugh out loud. I turned and looked back at my oldest brother. "I heard you went out to a party last night." Darry said with a straight face. I couldn't say the same thing about Soda. He was hiding his laugh behind Sandy's shoulder. Darry tried to look tough but I knew I wasn't in trouble.

I slapped Two-Bit on the top of the head and yelled out. "Two-Bit you have the biggest mouth in the neighborhood!" The room burst out in laughter and I knew for sure that Two-Bit had told them he caught me kissing James. My face turned red and I got angry, but I wasn't sure why. I couldn't figure out why kissing a boy should be an embarrassment.

Ponyboy laughed along with the rest of the gang. "What's so funny?"

Soda didn't waste a minute. "Two-Bit caught Scout kissing that James kid last night when you were all at that party."

Pony looked my way. "Oh …so that's why you two headed off to be alone."

"NO!" I wasted my breath defending myself. "We went for a walk, I didn't know there would be any kissing."

"Was it a good kiss?" Two-Bit laughed.

My embarrassment changed to cockiness. "Yeah… yeah it was Two-Bit, probably better then any kiss you have ever given out." The boys laughed.

"Why don't you come on down here and we'll find out." Two-Bit shot back as the laughter continued and he grabbed my ankle pulling me to the ground.

My body slammed down hard on the floor. "Knock it off Two-Bit!"

He didn't listen to me, he tried to pull me closer to him while he made kissing noises. I kicked him with my free foot but he welcomed the fight. Still the boys laughed as Two-Bit pinned me to the ground and further threatened to kiss me on the lips. I shook my head to avoid him. "Darry! Damn it Darry get him off me." Then I threw both hands over my mouth to avoid any personal contact from Two-Bit's lips.

Darry stood up and looked down at me laughing. "Alright Two-Bit let her go."

Two-Bit rested his weight on my chest as he looked up at Darry. "But I haven't gotten my kiss yet."

"Yeah and you never will." Darry smiled, pushed Two-Bit to the floor and hoisted me up to a standing position with one arm. "Scout if you are going to start kissing boys we are going to need to have some kind of talk."

"Ohhhhh!" The gang yelled out knowing that Darry was going to have to have the "about sex" talk with me.

I smiled back. "Don't bother Darry I already read that book in health class."

Soda laughed, "Scout there is so much in that book they don't tell you!" Sandy slapped Sodapop playfully so he would keep their private life private.

"That's enough Soda." Darry warned so the conversation wouldn't get out of control, then the phone rang.

Darry reached over and answered it then told the caller to hold on. My brother looked over at me and tried not to laugh. "Scout… it's for you." Then he whispered. "It's a boy."

The room yelled out and some of the boys whistled. I grabbed the phone and dragged it out onto the porch and shut the front door as everyone inside booed my decision to leave. James and I talked on the phone for about 30 minutes and then I had to hang up to join the gang for lunch. James said he had a good time at the party and he hoped he could see me again soon. I reminded him I was too young to date but my birthday was on Sunday. He laughed and said he would check and see if he was busy. Until then he looked forward to being ignored by me in school. I laughed and looked forward to seeing him again too.


	6. Chapter six

**Chapter six**

I looked into the bathroom mirror to see if I looked any older. It was my fourteenth birthday. I know fourteen isn't much older than thirteen, but to me it is. Fourteen is high school age, fourteen is the age when you are allowed to do more things and go more places on your own, fourteen is a dating age and the first step into maturity.

Ugh, how I hate the thought of female maturity. I wasn't ready for womanhood. I had never talked to mom about this and I couldn't imagine telling any of my brothers, but on that first day I had to. I sat in the bathroom on the floor and thought about telling Soda, he understood things and would be sympathetic. Another quality of Soda's is that he tells everyone everything. I didn't want that. Ponyboy couldn't have helped me if he wanted to. I needed to go to the drug store and Pony didn't have a car or money. So I decided to tell Darry and he was surprisingly caring, confused on what to say or do… but caring.

I remember how he was sitting in dad's armchair reading the newspaper. I watched him and the guys hanging out in the living room. I called him back to my room. When he came in I shut the doors for privacy. I told him that I wasn't sick like he thought I was. I was a different kind of sick. I was really sorry, but I needed some money and a ride to the drug store, then I just kind of looked at him with my face all scrunched up hoping he would get "the drift". He didn't, well not right away anyway, but a minute later we were headed out. I went into the store on my own while Darry waited in the truck, I appreciated that! Back at home he kept quiet around the gang, but told Ponyboy and Soda later that night. Both were threatened within an inch of their life not to tease me about it. Pony never did, and never would. Soda is another story, for days he would just look at me and laugh. Sometimes that boy can be a real pain. It's a good thing I didn't feel really well or he and I would have had it out for sure.

I pulled myself back from my thoughts, yep being fourteen is going to be a good year. I splashed some water on my face and stepped back to look at my body. It had been changing. I was getting an hour glass shape and was looking more like young woman and less like a lanky girl. I had even started to take more interest in dressing and acting like a girl when I went to school.

Darry's friend Kathryn was a big help to me in that area. The weekend after the court hearing she stopped by the house with bags of girl clothes. Kathryn and her mom went through closets and old boxes and found a lot of really nice clothes that didn't fit Kathryn or her sisters any longer. I really appreciated all the clothes. Ponyboy though it was too much charity. I didn't agree, I thought of it as friendship. Unfortunately that is also the way Darry still considered Kathryn.

"Hey! Whose ready for a party?" Soda yelled from the kitchen as he finished up the last of the dishes from dinner. I stepped out of the bathroom into the dining room. I looked over at my twin bother. Ponyboy and I were excited. We loved birthday parties, especially when it was ours!

The whole gang was in the house and everyone gathered in the dining room as Darry brought a chocolate cake with flaming candles from the kitchen as the group sang out. "…happy birthday dear Ponyboy! Happy birthday to you!" You could tell by the look on Ponyboy's face that he made a wish before he blew out the candles with one breath.

Everyone cheered as Soda made a snide comment. "A few more years of smoking and you won't be able to do that in one breath anymore." In the weeks following our parent's death Pony had began to smoke more and more each day. His habit was becoming a nuisance and an added expense for the family.

"Speaking of cigarettes, here you go Pony this is from Johnny, Dally, Steve and me." Two-Bit threw a paper bag across the table at Ponyboy.

"Hey thanks!" Ponyboy picked up the bag and found packs of cigarettes inside. "How'd you know I needed these?" Pony joked.

"Just a hunch." Two-Bit laughed.

Darry stared at the three of them. Our oldest brother wasn't going to do anything about Pony's smoking. What could he do? Pony had been smoking for years. Still Darry didn't want Pony smoking and he didn't appreciate the musketeers encouraging his bad habit.

Sodapop glanced up at the clock. "Darry get the gifts, we only have five minutes." Every year since our first birthday mom and dad have let Ponyboy and I celebrate our birthdays separately. Pony always went first because he was seven minutes older than me. Ponyboy had seven minutes to blow out his candles and open his gifts and then my parents would relight the cake and we would celebrate my birthday.

"I got them right here." Darry reached into the kitchen and pulled two boxes off of the stovetop. Both gifts were wrapped in newspaper. Our gifts were always wrapped in newspaper because my family could never afford gift wrap. Pony's face lit up at the site of two gifts. Neither of us had expected any gifts since money was tight. "Happy birthday Pony." Darry told him and handed over the boxes.

My twin and I shared a look. Wow! Ponyboy paused to look at the gifts.

"Hurry up Pon!" Soda encouraged him. Pony opened the bigger box first. Tearing open the paper he could a shoe box. Inside was a new pair of white converse tennis shoes.

"Oh wow! Thanks guys!" Pony loved the shoes and he really needed new ones. Without delay he ripped the paper off the second smaller gift. I looked over at the title as Ponyboy read it out loud. "Robert Frosts book of Poetry." Pony thumbed through the pages. "Thanks Darry, thanks Sodapop."

"You're welcome Pony." Darry said and Soda ran around the table to give Pony a tight hug and tell him he was welcome.

I leaned over from my chair. "Oh Pony I want to read that too!"

Pony pulled the book protectively to this chest. "Well your waiting till I'm done with it and you aint reading over my shoulder. I hate it when you do that!"

"You two are really geeks aren't you?" Two-Bit laughed as he helped Soda relight the candles. Pony and I didn't respond. Although by the greaser's definition of geek we were far from it.

"Alright here we go." Soda sang out and lead the gang in another chorus of happy birthday. I made my wish and blew out the candles in one breath.

Like a favorite uncle Two-Bit led the gift giving. "Whoa what's this in my pocket?" Two-Bit pulled another brown paper bag from his pocket. "Oh look! We lifted a give for you two Scout." I shook my head disappointed that Two-Bit had stolen the gifts, but that was Two-Bit's way. Actually Two-Bit saw it as a sport, and he was the champ! Two Bit threw the bag my way. "This is from all of us." He pointed to the gang.

I unrolled the bag, turned it upside down and let a small bottle fall out into my hand, perfume! I opened the top and sprayed little on my wrist and inhaled. "It smelled just like Kathryn's perfume. I smiled. "This is perfect! Two-Bit you lift the best gifts." I looked up at him and winked. He smiled back.

"Uh oh!" Soda's voice rang out. "Looks like we goofed up again and gave Pony two many gifts!" I beamed up at Soda. He and Darry hadn't forgotten the way my parents teased me every birthday. First mom would say she gave my gift to Ponyboy and I had nothing to open. Then before I could get upset Dad would magically find a gift for me. The very first time my parents pulled that prank I was four years old, and it worked. I cried and cried. Even though I never fell for it again they had fun playing the game.

Right on cue Darry spoke up. "Oh! What's this?" Darry looked and sounded so much like dad it was almost too real. Darry tossed two boxes to over to Soda who put them on the table in front of me.

"Thanks guys." I said as I tried to decide which box to open first. I grabbed the smaller one and opened the paper. It was the book Of Mice and Men. "Soda you remembered!" A few weeks ago I was telling Sodapop how much I loved John Steinbeck's novels and that I hadn't read Of Mice and Men yet. "How did you ever remember?" I was really surprised.

Soda knew why I would ask that. "Well I told Darry right away when you told me and he remembered."

I thumbed through the pages just like Pony did to his book.

Pony tried to read the back cover of my book. "I'm gonna read that if you are going to read this." Pony waved his book at me.

I knew that moment that Pony was just like me and he wished all the guys had some place to go. Both of us were itching to read out new books. I put mine down on the table where Ponyboy couldn't reach it and grabbed the next box. On first touch I realized it was a shoebox just like my brother's gift. I ripped the paper and opened the box. Inside was a new pair of black leather loafers. "Oh! Thanks Darry and Soda!" I loved them, and since Kathryn had been around she had shown me how to dress more like a young lady. I sure liked her. I liked Soda's new girl Sandy too. Both girls were pretty with blonde hair and blue eyes.

I slid the loafers back into the box while Soda dished out the chocolate cake. Each of my brothers loved chocolate cake. Our whole life there was always chocolate cake in the house. I was the abnormal one in the family because I didn't love chocolate cake. Darry teased me a lot about mom and dad bringing the wrong baby girl home from the hospital. Even though I didn't love chocolate cake, I would still eat a piece from time to time and I always ate some cake on my birthday! The cake was perfect and I knew Darry had made it because the icing was as good as mom's icing was.

The guys finished the cake and Soda ran to the living room and grabbed the football that was laying on the hearth of the fireplace. He yelled with a drawl. "Come on let's go!"

Steve shoved the remainder of his cake into his mouth and jumped up from his chair stepping back near the doorway to my room. Soda launched the football through the air for Steve to catch. Without warning Darry leapt up and snagged the football in mid-air. He took off running for the front door. Soda tried to tackle him but Darry strong armed him sending my second oldest brother backwards over the coffee table and onto the couch.

"Nice try." Darry teased and headed out the front door with the football knowing everyone would follow him. Birthdays and football were a tradition in our family. Ever since Darry got his first football on his eighth birthday the gang has played a game of football on everyone's birthday.

We all walked to the vacant lot and claimed teams. Soda elected Ponyboy and I captains and girls pick first. "I got Darry." That was the easiest pick for anyone.

"I got Sodapop."

"I got Steve." I picked and watched Soda and Steve warn each to watch out and prepare to lose.

Pony wanted to pick Johnny next, but we all knew the kid wasn't the best ball player. Besides the winners had bragging rights until the next birthday game which was Darry's. Pony picked Two-Bit, he was a good player because he was tough and not afraid to give a hit or take a hit, even from Darry.

This left Dally and Johnny to chose from. As much as Dally bothered me and I didn't like him the best, I still chose him for my team. Johnny didn't care, he gladly joined Ponyboy's side.

"Alright Pony's team gets the ball first." Darry threw the ball at his youngest brother. "We've got the south end zone. We will play for ninety minutes, winner take all!" With that the game began. Lot rules were the offensive team started twenty feet from their own end zone and worked their way to a touch down. The teams huddled together for a moment then lined up for the first play.

Soda played quarterback so he bent down and placed the ball on the ground and his hand on the ball. Ponyboy and Johnny lined up to his right and Two-Bit lined up to his left. My team lined up against the others, I covered Johnny, Dally covered Pony, Steve covered Soda and Darry covered Two-Bit. Sodapop called hike and lifted the ball. Pony's team had three seconds before our team could move. Darry counted out loud. "One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, GO!" By this time Soda had jumped back with the ball and his team had run down field.

I chased after Johnny as Soda launched the ball Johnny's direction and he caught it. I reached out with both hands to drag him to the ground and I missed. Luckily Dally was fast enough to make a diving tackle into Johnny's side. The impact forced the ball out of Johnny's hands and into the street. I watched as Dally and Darry pulled Johnny to his feet. He appeared to be okay so I headed across the street to fetch the football that was resting against the curb. I looked both ways and noticed a car cruising slowly my way. I had plenty of time to dart across the street, so I did.

I picked up the football and stepped up on the sidewalk to allow the car to pass. As the convertible came near I noticed it was not the type of car that anyone drives in our neighborhood. The top was down and I counted five boys inside. They were dressed in jackets and khaki pants, Socs!

The car pulled up along the curb where I was standing. I looked over to the vacant lot, but no one in the gang had noticed. They were busy arguing about the last play. I backed up a few steps from the car and bumped into a white wooden fence. I felt trapped as four of the boys jumped out of the car and surrounded me, they hadn't noticed the gang a few hundred feet away in the vacant lot. I wrapped my hands around the football and froze, so did my voice.

"What I tell ya boys!" A tall dark haired boy in a blue plaid jacket called out. "You can find a white trash tramp anywhere in this neighborhood." The boy then put his hand on the side of my cheek and I flinched away quickly.

"Whoa there little lady." A red headed boy sang out. "We aren't gonna hurt ya. My little brother here is just looking to get a little action and he thought you looked like …"

"HEY!" I heard a voice yell out from a distance. I couldn't make it out, could have been Darry or Soda or even Two-Bit. Who ever it was they sure caused a commotion because the driver of the car honked the horn and the four boys dove back into the convertible. I looked down the street as the car pulled away. One of the boys yelled, "I'll be back for you!" Then there was laughter as the boys ducked out of the way of rocks the gang had whipped at the vehicle.

Before I could think about what the soc had said Ponyboy was beside me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked me up and down. "You ok? Did they hurt you?"

I still gazed at the car as it turned the corner and disappeared. I shook my head slightly. "Yeah Pon, I'm ok." Then Darry appeared in front of me blocking my view and asked the same questions that Pony had. I wasn't noticing the guys gathering around me, I was busy thinking about the threat, "I'll be back for you."

Sodapop shook me from trance. "Scout?"

I looked at him, I hadn't heard a word he was saying.

"I asked you what they wanted. What did they say to you?"

I looked down at the football and was glad I still had it. I looked back at Soda, the expression on his face was pure contempt. I rambled, "I still have the football…. I was worried they might take it or something and we couldn't finish the game." I noticed Soda look with concern at Darry.

Our oldest brother stepped in. "Scout, what did they do to you?"

It took me a few seconds to remember which question I was answering. "Um… I …. They said they… I ….no they didn't hurt me." I handed the football back to Darry.

Darry took the pigskin and cradled my chin with his hand. "Are you sure they didn't hurt you? You are acting kind of funny."

"Yeah Darry, I'm sure."

Two Bit joined in the conversation. "What did they want with ya?"

What did they want? The conversation played again in my head. "You can find a white trash tramp anywhere in this neighborhood… we aren't gonna hurt ya… my little brother here is just looking to get a little action …" I didn't want the boys to know what the socs had wanted so I lied. "Nothing. They thought I was someone else."

Most of the gang accepted my answer, except Ponyboy who shared a glance with Johnny that expressed Pony's belief that I was lying. Sometimes I hated being a twin! "Let's just go play." I suggested.

The gang crossed the street in a pack and resumed the game. I couldn't clear the threat from my head and I wasn't paying attention. Darry kept suggesting I get my head in the game. I didn't listen till after it was too late. On one play I had been running after Johnny when I slowed down and let him go only to have Darry tackle Two-Bit right into me. I fell to the ground as the two of them piled on top of me.

Darry jumped up scolded me. "Scout! Damn it! If you are not going to pay attention then you are not going to play."

I knew Darry was just upset that he may have hurt me, but Ponyboy got mad that he had yelled at me. "Leave her alone Darry. You're the one who ran into her."

Darry took the bait. "And just how was I suppose to know she was there? This is football Pony not track. You gotta be aware of what is going on around you. You can't just stop in the middle of the field."

I intervened. "Listen! I'm fine so would you two just stop it?" Pony and Darry hadn't been seeing eye to eye lately. Ponyboy was still getting used to Darry being the boss and Darry wasn't used to having kids to be the boss of. He and Pony had been bickering over everything from who was going to get the milk out of the icebox to how messy his penmanship was on his homework. At first I just assumed Darry was still upset about mom and dad, but he never seemed to let up. Ponyboy didn't help matters either. He was sassy a lot and challenged a lot of Darry's decisions. I bet that didn't make Darry feel to good.

Both of them ceased their argument and we finished the game. My team won, with no help from me. Then the bragging should have begun, but the excitement of the afternoon had simmered and no one felt much like rubbing it in. We all strolled back to the house. I lagged behind kicking stones and thinking about my parents. Dad always played in the birthday football game, but mom refused to. She couldn't stand seeing any of her kids getting hurt. I recalled Darry's football playing days in high school. Each time she would hear the crashing of helmets and shoulder pads she would jump a little and hold her breath till Darry jumped up on his feet again. Thinking about that brought a smile to my face as I kicked a tiny pebble down the street into the back of Johnny's shoe.

He didn't notice the stone, but I noticed the noise coming down the street. It was the same engine rumble of the convertible. I stopped and turned to look behind me. The car had slowed to a stop at the street corner by Johnny's house. No one in the car said a thing. They just sat there studying me, the street, my family. I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to look tough, like Soda would, when I heard Steve yell out.

"Son of a bitch." He blurted out. The gang stopped just a few feet from our house and a good fifty feet from me.

"Scout get over here!" Darry yelled. I looked at my brother, then back at the car. Then I turned and walked toward the gang as the car drove away for a second time.


	7. Chapter seven

Chapter seven 

I didn't sleep well that night, James never called and I just kept thinking about how odd it was that kids from the other side of town would come all the way into our neighborhood just to harass someone. Ponyboy didn't sleep well either. For the third time this week he woke the whole house up screaming because of a nightmare he could never seem to remember. I stayed in my bed as Soda flew through my room to go and check on Ponyboy. I laid there and listened to Pony choke up and try to be tough even though he had scared himself so badly. Then I heard Darry start in on him.

"Ponyboy! What is the problem? Huh?"

Figuring there was going to be another fight between the boys I wandered through the house to Ponyboy's bedroom doorway. I didn't hear what Ponyboy said, but I heard Soda sticking up for his little brother. "Darry, I don't know why you are riding him about this, there's nothing he can do about it, he doesn't do it on purpose."

I leaned up against the wooden door frame and watched Darry. He was tired, exhausted, stressed and he yelled. "I can't be getting up every damn night to check on him Soda! This is the third time this week. I have to work two jobs tomorrow!"

Darry had a good point. Ponyboy sunk back into the covers and rolled away from Darry. Pony believed Darry was just giving him a guilt trip. Sodapop sat quiet for a moment and thought. You could almost see the idea pop into his head as he came up with a solution. "Tell ya what Darry. I'll start sleeping in here with Pony and when he has a nightmare I'll just take care of it."

Darry folded him arms across his bare chest. "Pony?"

"That's fine, just go back to bed Darry." Ponyboy snapped without looking at our brother.

Darry didn't respond either. He turned to storm out of the room almost knocking me to the ground. This added to his pressure and he snapped at me too. "Geez Scout!" He barked as he reached out and grabbed my arm to keep me from falling to the ground. "We don't all need to be getting up and checking on Ponyboy every time he has a nightmare! Get back to bed!" Darry gave me a little shove toward the kitchen then stepped into his room and threw his door shut.

I walked back to my room and wished my mom and dad were still alive.

I laid in bed and thought about Darry. He was always an intense person. I couldn't recall a time when he set his mind to something and didn't accomplish the tack . Maybe that is why he was so tense. Perhaps he had a vision for what he wanted Ponyboy, Soda and I to accomplish and he is set on completing that goal. Then there is the flip side. Maybe Ponyboy, Sodapop and I are the hindrance to his real goal to play football and graduate from college. Perhaps we are the road blocks that frustrate him. I rolled over to my side, cuddled a pillow and closed my eyes.

I dreamt about the past. It was about one summer long ago when my parents took us on a no frills camping trip. We slept under the stars with just blankets and pillows and cooked over open fire. We fetched water from a stream and sat around the campfire at night telling stories. I was about five years old and I remember watching Darry on that trip. He was the oldest and he liked to act like it. He would give us orders and help us do things like make our sandwiches or put a worm on our hook to fish. I guess from the very beginning he was our parent and we just hadn't realized it.

I remembered walking from our campsite to the edge of an old wooden dock where dad and Darry were sitting and fishing. Darry followed dad around like his shadow. He idolized dad and worked everyday of his life to make that man proud. This day was no exception. Darry hadn't caught a fish all morning, which had bugged him. Even his seven year old brother had caught a fish. Not only did Sodapop catch that fish, he also managed to fall into the lake doing it. Soda reeled in the fish and climbed out of the lake bouncing with excitement. He grabbed the slimy fish off the hook with his bare hands and ran it all the way back to the campsite to show mom. Quite a few times the slippery fish popped out of his hands and tried to flop away. Wiry Soda just pounced on his prey and scooped it back up. Dad laughed and laughed at that boy. Darry didn't. He just focused on getting his own fish, and when he did he wasn't going to fall into the lake and he was going to use a net like fishermen were suppose to!

I heard my mom call for the boys, lunch was ready. Dad turned around on the dock, "Come along Darry, time for sandwiches." Darry stayed sitting and looked up at my dad. "I'll be there in a bit dad. I still gotta catch me a fish."

"Don't worry about it Darry, we'll fish again later."

Darry didn't budge and my dad didn't push the issue. He just turned and walked up the dock then noticed me watching. "Hey baby girl!" He called out and jogged towards me. I remember flying through the air as he hoisted me from the ground into his arms. Dad was over six foot tall and being held in his arms felt like I was on top of the world. Dad brushed my curly hair away from my face. "Scout are you ready to eat?" I shook my tiny head yes and looked back at my brother. He stayed firm on the dock for hours until he caught that fish and brought it proudly back to camp, in a net.

I opened my eyes. It was still dark outside and I wasn't sure if I had fallen asleep or not. The sound of the front door opening caught my attention and I heard Johnny Cade come in. He was cursing his father, I could tell he was upset.

I looked up at the ceiling and counted my blessings. At least I had parents who had loved me. At least at had a brother who would give up his future for me. Johnny Cade had neither. I was lucky.

I expected Johnny to kick his shoes off and climb onto the couch. That is what he did every time he came to stay at our house. Instead of the usual I saw the glow of the bathroom light and heard the water from the sink creak on.

I sat up in bed and listened. Over the sound of the water I heard the door of the medicine cabinet swing open. Johnny is hurt!

I hopped out of bed and swung around the corner into the bathroom. Johnny was standing there in bare feet and a pair of filthy blue jeans. His gray t-shirt had smears of blood on the front. "What happened Johnny?" I asked as I noticed the blood drizzling from the deep wound on the back of Johnny's hand.

Johnny looked over, more worried about me then himself. 'Sorry to wake you Scout."

"I was up already." I told him. I wouldn't have cared if I had been asleep. "Let me help you." I threw Johnny a bathroom towel and he wrapped it around his hand. I dug through the medicine cabinet and pulled out a box of band aids. By the time I looked at Johnny's hand again the towel was beginning to show blood stains. I looked into his dark eyes. "What did he do to you?"

Johnny's gaze met mine and the look in his eyes told me he'd rather not talk about it. I didn't care, I wanted to know so I held his stare.

After a few awkward seconds Johnny broke. "Old man came home drunk and found a broken plate in the trash….." Johnny looked down at his hand to take to towel off and I noticed his greasy bangs fall over his eyes.

I grabbed two of the band aids and began trying to close and cover the wound. "and…?"

Johnny slouched his thin shoulders. "…and he thought I broke it. I was just sleeping in my bed and the next thing I know he's hitting me with the broken plate."

I winced at the thought. None of the kids in my family had ever been hit by our parents. I looked down at the wound. It was a deep cut and I was going to need more band aids. Johnny and I watched as each band aid I put on quickly became saturated with blood.

"Get some more bandages Scout." Johnny requested and put the towel back over the wound.

I quickly ripped open four more band aids and got them ready as Johnny pulled the towel off. The blood started to seep through the second layer of bandages. By this time Johnny was starting to find the situation a little bit funny as he laughed. "Scout get some more band aids."

"Johnny all the band aids in the world aren't gonna help you. I think you need stitches." I was beginning to laugh as well. Neither of us truly thought this was funny so it must have been the early morning hours and lack of sleep.

I put another band aid over a spot where the blood was seeping through, then a new leak began. It was like a Bugs Bunny cartoon show where one of the characters tries to plug one hole and another one appears. I looked up at Johnny. "Johnnycake I don't think this is going to work."

He smiled back. "Sure it will, we just need some tape or something."

I stepped back and looked at him. I always admired Johnny's courage. He had the roughest life of any of us in the gang, but he still seemed to enjoy life. "Johnny I'm going to get Darry."

The smile fell from Johnny's face. "No don't wake him. I'll be fine."

I walked past him and pointed down at the floor. "Johnny you're dripping blood. I didn't wait for Johnny to argue.

As I passed through the kitchen I checked the clock on the wall with the little bit of moonlight shinning through the window, five in the morning. I slowly opened Darry's door and found him sleeping facing away from the door. I thought about how tired he must be. Not just from working two jobs, but from having so many new and exhausting responsibilities. I knelt on the side of his bed and whispered in his ear as I gently shook his bare shoulder. "Darry….Darry…"

My brother woke and upon seeing me he jumped to consciousness. "What's the matter Scout?"

"It's Johnny…"

Darry sat up and was at full attention. Everyone in my gang took extra special care of Johnny because his parents never did, and never would. "What is the matter?"

"His dad hit him with a plate and he cut his hand real bad."

Darry headed out of his room as I told him Johnny was in the bathroom. By the time I caught up to my brother he was already looking at the injury Johnny's dad had given him. I stood by waiting to hear what Darry planned to do as he and Johnny talked in low voices.

"Scout!" Darry turned to me as he left the bathroom. "Go get a pair of Soda's shoes for Johnny to wear and the checkbook, we are going to the hospital."

Johnny stepped out of the bathroom. "Darry I don't think I should be going to the hospital…my parents wouldn't ….."

Darry turned around and faced Johnny and smiled. "Don't worry Johnnycake. We'll take care of the bill." Then Darry went to his room to get dressed.

I looked at Johnny who was filled with mixed emotions. He felt horrible that his parents would hurt him so often and refuse to take care of him when he needed it most. He also was lucky to have our gang. No one would ever let Johnny need for anything. I turned to fetch the items and thought again how proud I was of Darry.


	8. Chapter eight

Chapter eight 

I woke Sodapop and Ponyboy up early to tell them about Johnny needing stitches and we were all sure to be dressed and ready for school and work before our brother came home. I knew Darry would be hungry so I made a big pot of oatmeal for him and fried up some sausages. Keeping Darry fed often helped him feel less stressed. Johnny and Darry returned from the hospital just in time for Darry to shower and leave for work. The house was a whirlwind as we all packed up our things and headed out the door for the day.

Pony, Johnny Two-Bit, Steve and I all piled into Steve's car for the ride to school. Johnny told us that he needed a dozen stitches to close the wound on his hand. Then Steve told us to all squeeze into together because he was going to start picking Evie and Sandy up for school too. The car sure was crowded, but it was better than walking.

During school I met James in the hall. He asked if I wanted to hang with him after school. I told him about my brother's homework rule, but I could do something after that. The rest of the school day I thought about where James may be taking me and if this would be considered our first date.

After school Steve had to go directly to the DX for work. Sandy and Evie stayed around the station to hang with their boyfriends, Two-Bit headed to meet up with a couple of girls he had met at school and the rest of us headed home.

As the three of us walked past the vacant lot we could hear Johnny's mom cursing Johnny out and telling him to get home and stop hanging out with his hoodlum friends. Even though his family life was rough he still listened and obeyed his parents rules. We believed that Johnny thought if he just followed the rules one magical day things would all be better for him.

As Johnny trotted off to his house Ponyboy and I hurried home to finish our school work. We both finished just as a knock came at the door. I skipped over to answer it and was happy to find James on the front porch waiting for me.

"Hi!" I smiled and invited him in.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." I slipped my tennis shoes on my feet. "Where are we going?"

James smiled back at me, I sure enjoyed those dimples. "To the junk yard. Curly and Jon and I need to find some parts for Jon's car….Hey Ponyboy you wanna go?"

I looked over at Ponyboy hoping he would say yes. Going to the junkyard was not my idea of a date. Then I realized that maybe for some guys dating is just being with someone no matter what you are doing. "Yeah I'll go." Pony said and he scratched a note for Soda and left it on the table. Luckily it wasn't our night to cook dinner.

James, Pony and I climbed into the backseat of Jon's car and James held my hand. I knew that Ponyboy noticed because I caught him laughing. I didn't tell anyone, but I was actually pretty excited because I had never been to a junkyard before.

We pulled into the dirt parking lot and got out. Jon grabbed box of tools out of the back and we headed inside the fence. I was amazed by the vast amount of junked vehicles. I leaned close to James. "So what do you do… just find a car that has the part you're looking for and take it?"

James laughed a little realizing I knew little about what we were doing. "Yeah basically. We pull the parts off that we want and we pay for the ones we take." James smiled, "well the one's they see us take." Then he winked at me.

My heart sank a tiny bit knowing that he wasn't entirely honest, but then again neither is Two-Bit and I like him just fine. We wandered around till the guys found a car that had a variety of things that they needed. It was going to take some time to remove the parts and I was truly bored.

"Hey guys I am going to go look around." I told the group. "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Cool." James said, he clearly planned to stick around to strip the parts off the car. I looked at Pony. He was watching contently as Curly started to rip wires and parts out of the car's engine. He wasn't planning on coming with me either.

I turned a corner and checked out the line of cars near the car crusher. Most of these cars had no salvageable parts and by now were only good for scrap metal. I walked a few hundred feet down the row of cars and was ready to head back to the gang when a light blue car caught my attention. I turned and stared at it. My heart skipped a beat. The front of the car reminded me of my parent's car. Slowly I walked towards it and read the license plate. I felt my breath leave my body as I stood there in shock. It was my parent's car!

I looked around the yard for anyone, but I was alone. I took a few more steps toward the car and tried to decided what I should do. Part of me wanted to run, but another part of me begged to go and see the wreck, begged to know if what my nightmares had been telling me was true.

The sun shone brightly off the hood of the car that seemed relatively unscathed by the accident. I was reminded of the hours that dad and Sodapop spent waxing the car and keeping it in good shape. I took a few more steps closer to the car and slowly reached out to touch the hood. As my hand connected with the cold metal a strong shiver went up my spine. I studied the effects of the accident and for the first time I knew that the train had collided with my father's side of the car. The doors on that side were pushed into the inside of the car. I walked along the car toward the driver's door and closed my eyes to ready myself to look inside.

When I opened my eyes I noticed the backseat interior of the car was filled with dirt, gravel and little piles of broken glass. I ran my hand along the deep scratches and dents in my father's door as I muscled up the courage to look into the front seat where I presumed my parents had died. I put both hands on the window sill of the car door and looked up to the sky. It was clear and blue and I asked myself if I really wanted to know and if I was really prepared to see, I was.

I held my breath and bent down to look inside at the driver's seat. I felt my throat tighten and my knees went weak at what I saw. The seats and dashboard were twisted, cracked and ripped. Gravel and dirt covered the floorboards and on the vinyl seats and dash were the remnants of what were once puddles and spatters of blood, my parents blood. I turned my back to the car and leaned up against it and felt my stomach get sick. Hot tears welled up in my eyes as my nightmares were solidified into reality. I bravely told myself I had seen the worst. Now I needed to see more. I turned back to the car and slowly walked around to the trunk and then to my mother's side of the car.

On that side the wheels had been bent underneath the car and neither of the doors were able to close. Slowly I approached my mother's door and remembered how dad would always hold it open for her. I hoped my brother's had remembered that too because it was important to my mother the boys used their manners. I pulled my mother's car door open a bit further and noticed the car keys still in the ignition. For some possessive reason I wanted them, but I would have to go into the car to get them. I would have to crawl across the seat that my parents died on and see or touch the dried puddles of blood left behind by their bodies. I shivered again, wiped my eyes and told myself to be strong. I didn't want to be a sissy. I counted to three and then froze. Damn it Sissy! I swore to myself. Then I counted to three again and crawled across the front seat to pull the keys from the ignition.

I pulled and the keys didn't come loose. I pulled again and then an eerie conclusion entered my mind, the car was still on. I turned the ignition off and retrieved the keys and backed out of the car. I held my dad's keys in my hand and thought about how he would come home and toss the keys into the glass dish by his armchair. I studied the keys and noticed the one that unlocked the doors and trunk. I slowly walked back and put the key into the cylinder and turned. At first the trunk wouldn't open but with a few hard tugs the heavy metal lifted and revealed an item that was hidden in the darkness till now. Mom's picnic basket!

I reached in and pulled the basket out. It was a gift that my dad had given to her on their first wedding anniversary. I hadn't thought of the basket in the weeks before. I reached in and pulled out the heavy basket. Something was still inside. I sat on the ground, leaned up against the half detached bumper of the car and held onto the basket. For a moment I could smell my mother's perfume and then the wind blew the scent away.

Wiping the tears from my eyes I opened the top of the picnic basket and the perfume smell wafted back to me. I looked in and found my mother's purse. Quickly I pulled the leather bag from it's hiding place and looked at it. My brothers and I had bought her the bag for a Christmas present. I dug further into the purse and pulled out a paper bag with two small paper boxes inside.

The first box was white and when I lifted the lid a small folded piece of paper fell out exposing a little golden cross on a thin gold chain. The necklace was beautiful and I was wondering who it was for as I unfolded the small paper note and recognized my mothers handwriting.

_Scout, our baby girl!_

_We can not believe that you are fourteen years old. It seems like only yesterday we held you in our arms and rocked you to sleep at night. You mean the world to us! As you grow older remember to be true to yourself and always remember that faith can pull you through anything. _

Happy Birthday and Love, Mom and Dad 

The necklace was for me….There was no strength left to hold back the tears so I let them fall and I let the sobbing begin. It was a soft stoic sob that was meant to be heard just by me.

I was so involved in my grief that I didn't hear the boys who had come hunting for me.

As the gang of boys walked down the aisle of wrecked cars Ponyboy froze in his tracks the way I had. He recognized the family car and his heartbeat quickened.

James looked over at Ponyboy and had noticed the sick look on my brother's face, but was unable to put together the pieces to the puzzle.

"Scout?" Ponyboy's gruff voice cracked as he tried to yell for me.

I put the box and note back into the purse and stood up noticing the boys a few dozen feet away on the dirt road. Quietly I spoke, "Ponyboy." I stepped toward him and saw a look of shock on his face. "Pony…. it's their car." I told him even though I knew he already figured that out.

Ponyboy stepped closer to the car and stood by the front of the hood. "I know." Pony's voice cracked. "Geez Scout, how'd you find it? Did you know it was here?"

I shook my head. "No… I was just walking and here it was…" I walked alongside the car to Ponyboy's side. James and the others watched from the road. I could hear Curly Sheppard filling in the blanks about our parent's accident for the Weston boy. Ponyboy and I stood at the front of the car in silence, just staring at it. No one in the family had thought to ask where it was or what would have happened to it.

Ponyboy started to shake and cry a little harder and was embarrassed in front of the others. The other boys tried not to look.

Pony lit up a cigarette in an effort to look cool and calm his nerves. He wanted time alone with his thoughts and with the car. "Jon, why don't you guys go on ahead and Scout and I will find our own ride home." Pony began to shift his weight and tried to avoid looking at anyone.

James cleared his throat, "yeah sure… no problem." He turned to leave and then turned back. "Ya'll want us to stop by the DX and tell your brother to come and get ya or something?"

I looked at him as silent tears ran down my cheeks. "Yeah that would be good, thanks James."

"No problem." James hesitated for a moment then quickly headed out of there with the other two.

I stayed by Pony's side and didn't say a word until he was ready to talk. I knew how painful it was to see the car destroyed.

Jon pulled his car up to the front of the DX station. James jumped out and headed inside where he found Soda perched up on a stool and his feet up on the counter. 

Soda greeted him, "What can I get you?"

James didn't know Soda at all other than being threatened by him at the dance and meeting him a week ago in the parking lot of the DX. "I … I'm suppose to tell you that your brother and sister are down at the west end salvage yard and they are going to need a ride home."

Soda glanced at Steve who had walked in to the station and then questioned James. "What are they doing at the salvage yard?"

James looked around the station and not directly at Sodapop. "Well they went there with us but…. Scout….she uh…." James hesitation on my name caused Soda to stand up in alarm. James noticed and wanted to calm him. "Nothing is wrong… I mean she, they are alright. It's just they found your parents car there and they didn't want to leave."

Soda's mouth dropped open and his face went blank. Steve stepped into the conversation. "Yeah we'll go get'em." That was all James needed to hear and he quickly left the station. Steve turned to his friend. "Soda you ok?"

"Sure," Soda answered while nervousness filled his stomach, "I think I better get down there and get them. Can I borrow your car?"

"Yeah sure buddy." Steve said, "but maybe I should drive you down there." Without waiting for an answer Steve popped his head out into the shop and yelled to the night shift guy. "Hey Ronnie! Soda and I are cutting out early, you got the place to yourself." Steve wiped his greasy hands and pulled Soda out of the station. Both Soda and Steve often cut out early when Ronnie was there. Ronnie was a push over for those two and he would cover for them at anytime.

After a long time alone with his thoughts Ponyboy spoke. "I keep telling myself this isn't their car… but it is."

I looked up at him and bit my lip to hold back more tears. "I know …" I confirmed his thoughts

"Did you look inside yet?" Ponyboy said still shaking a little.

"Yeah."

Pony looked at me and then stepped towards my mom's side of the car as I followed him. Pony leaned in the window noticing the gravel and broken glass then he quickly pulled his head out and turned toward me. "Is that blood?"

The look on my brother's face was pure horror, but I couldn't lie to him. I also couldn't speak out loud or the knot in my throat would bust, so I just shook my head yes.

Pony's face twisted in disgust and he stepped away from the car. As he looked away he spotted the picnic basket on the ground behind the car and quickly moved toward it. Looking on the ground he saw the purse along side it.

I spoke up to clear away any confusion. "The keys were still in the ignition so I took them and found the basket and purse in the trunk." Ponyboy and I sat in the dirt and I grabbed the purse. "Pony…" I started to cry again. "There was a birthday gift in mom's purse for me." I pulled the purse open and handed the little box and note to Ponyboy. He read the note and looked back at me. "There's another box…" I handed the small gray paper box to him.

My brother removed the box lid and looked down at the silver pocket watch. Stuffed inside the lid of the box was a folded note with a message just for Pony.

_Ponyboy,_

_Don't rush to grow up too fast and always remember that we love you with all our hearts every minute of the day._

Happy Birthday and Love, Mom and Dad 

Ponyboy held the note and silver watch tight in his hand and buried his head into his knees and cried. I scooted over to his side and wrapped my arms around him as best as I could.

Steve's car slid to a stop in the dirt parking lot as he and Soda jumped out and raced into the salvage yard. Their pace was quick as they looked up and down the dirt roads that were lined with cars. Steve had a suspicion that the car they were looking for would be near the crusher so he pulled Soda that way. The two of them jogged down the row until they spotted the wreck.

Upon seeing the car Soda's shoulders and head dropped in disappointment and sorrow. Steve supportively slapped his buddy on the back and the two of them moved toward the car.

"You ok Soda?" Steve asked.

Upon hearing his voice Ponyboy and I stood up from where we were sitting in the dirt.

"Soda?" I called to him through the setting sun. I looked at my brother's shocked face as he silently walked around the car analyzing the damage. He didn't speak as he looked through the broken windows. Steve followed closely behind him.

The two boys walked past us as Ponyboy pulled a cigarette out of the pocket of his jeans. Soda doubled back to look at his brother. "Give me a cig Pon."

Ponyboy pulled an extra cigarette out of his pack for our brother and handed it over to him. Sodapop took a long drag on the cigarette, leaned his head back and blew the smoke to the sky. "It looked just like I thought it would." Ponyboy and I were surprised to learn that Soda had thought about the accident too.

Soda motioned toward the handbag and picnic basket on the ground. "Were those in the backseat?"

"No." I said quietly. "I found them in the trunk."

"How'd you get into the trunk?" Soda took another long drag as Steve examined the damage around the rear of the car.

I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out the keys. "I found these in the ignition."

Soda reached over and took the keys from me. He learned to drive in that car and he had even gone out at night with it a few time since he had his license. "I bet no one thought to check the car for stuff. Did you check the glove box?" I shook my head no and Soda leaned into the car and opened the little door in the dashboard. Even though it was unlocked Sodapop couldn't pry the door open. "Steve get me a bar or something."

Steve started to look around at the other wrecks for something that would help.

"Are you looking for something?" Ponyboy leaned into the car to ask Soda.

"Yeah." Sodapop pulled his head back out of the car. "Dad's wallet. He always kept it in the glove box when he drove."

Steve handed a metal rod from the hood of a car over to his friend and Soda popped the little door open. Inside were a map, a few pens, a handkerchief and dad's wallet. Soda grabbed just the wallet and spun around to lean up against mom's side of the car. "Darry and I were wondering where this was. We had just figured someone had stolen it." Soda opened the wallet and looked inside to find some money and dad's pictures of us.

I watched a few tears roll down his cheek. I looked down at my hand that held the box with my necklace and the note. I wanted to tell Sodapop about the gifts but we were interrupted by the sound of a truck rumbling through the now darkening junkyard.

The rusty pick up truck pulled to a stop and an old greasy man leaned out the driver's window. "Ya'll we are closing up so grab what ya need and get on outta here!" The driver spat out his chew spit on the ground and drove off.

"Come on." Ponyboy slapped both of us on the shoulder. "Let's get on home." I picked up the handbag and put it back into my mom's picnic basket. Together the four of us walked down the dirt road away from the car.

At home Soda made sandwiches for dinner. Everyone was too hungry to wait for anything to be cooked. While we ate I decided to tell Soda about the birthday gifts.

"Hey Soda, today I found some things in mom's purse." I held out the box. "It was a birthday gift for me."

Soda took the necklace and smiled. "See that was the best thing about mom and dad… they would never forget a birthday!" He took the lid off the box and read the note then he looked over at Ponyboy. "How bout you Ponyboy?"

Pony smiled lightly and he pulled the pocket watch and note out of his jeans. "Yeah, here is my gift."

Soda's smile filled his face. "Darry is going to be so happy to hear about this!"

"How come?" Ponyboy questioned.

"Cause it's your fourteenth birthday and we knew mom and dad would have gotten you a pocket watch. I bet it even has your name engraved on the back."

Ponyboy flipped the watch over and found his name. "How'd you know that would be there?"

"Cause, it's your fourteenth birthday." Soda noticed the confusion on Pony's face. "Don't ya remember that Darry got a pocket watch on his fourteenth birthday and I got one too. They have our names on the back just like yours."

Pony looked back at my brother and talked with a mouthful of food. "So why is Darry gonna be so happy?"

"Well, he and I knew that mom and dad would have gotten you a pocket watch for your birthday but we just couldn't afford to get you one. Darry felt real bad about it."

Pony and I looked at each other. We hadn't noticed the special gifts that our brothers had received in the past. I looked over at Soda. "I don't remember you getting a watch."

"That's because mom and dad didn't give it to us in front of everyone." Soda took a big swig of chocolate milk. "They waited until just before bed and gave it to me. It had a note inside and everything. Here I'll show you."

Soda got up from the table and went to Darry's room. He still had a lot of his stuff in there from when he and Darry shared that room before he moved into mom and dad's room and then to Pony's room. Soda swaggered back in with the watch and note. "See, just like yours. Darry has one too, but I don't know where it is."

We finished up dinner and settled into the living room for the night to wait for Darry to come home. At about 10pm Steve headed home and the three of us climbed onto the couch to watch television while we waited for our brother. On the coffee table I had lined up the gifts with their notes and most of the money from dad's wallet and mom's purse. With Darry's birthday coming up in the next week we decided to keep a little cash to buy him something nice.

I felt sleepy and laid my head on Soda's shoulder. Just before I drifted off to sleep we heard the gears of Darry's truck stopping outside. Tired Darry trudged up the front steps and through the front door. When he came in he saw the three of us lined up on the couch waiting for him his face tensed up and he worriedly asked. "What?"

Soda smiled softy. "Nothin' Darry, we just got something we want to tell ya is all."

Darry wandered over to the dining room table and draped his tool belt over the edge of a chair and then came to stand in front of us waiting for the news. "Out with it." He commanded.

Soda sat forward on the couch. "Scout and Ponyboy were out on the west end at the junkyard out there and they stumbled across mom and dad's car." Darry's mouth dropped open as Soda continued. "I went out and saw it too. And we found some stuff we wanted you to see." Soda looked over at Ponyboy. "Go ahead Ponyboy."

Pony licked his lips and picked the watch and note up from the table the looked my way quick. "Scout found ma's picnic basket and handbag in the trunk and these birthday gifts were in there too. Mine's a watch and Scout got that necklace." Pony handed Darry the watch and nodded toward the necklace on the coffee table.

Darry squatted down in front of us and took the watch from Ponyboy. Immediately he checked the back for Ponyboy's name. "This is great Pony. We was really bothered that we weren't able to get you this for your birthday." Darry handed the watch back Pony and seemed to scold him. "Now you know that's not something you carry around with you all the time right? That just for special occasions, I don't want to see you taking it to school and stuff. Savvy?"

Pony slouched and took back the watch. "Yeah I know."

Darry picked up the necklace and smiled just like dad. "Well baby girl Soda and I didn't have a clue what mom and dad would get you for your birthday. I guess now we know." He picked the necklace up and cradled it in his calloused hands. "It sure is pretty. Are you going to wear it?"

I shook my head. "Yes, all the time! I was just waiting for you to see it and then I was going to put it on."

Darry unhooked the clasp. "Well let me help you with it." I sat on the coffee table with my back to Darry and lifted my hair up so he could put the necklace on for me. I turned around and touched the golden cross with my fingertips as Darry stood up. "It looks real nice Scout."

Soda stood up with the last item on the table and handed it to Darry. "This is the money we found. We figured we could use it for groceries or something. It's only fifteen bucks, but every little bit helps. I am gonna put the pictures that dad had of mom and dad and us kids in my wallet if that is ok with you."

Darry put the cash in his billfold. "Sure Soda that's fine." Darry sighed and thought about how late it must have been. "Alright now ya'll better get off to bed. We all have school and work in the morning. Pony and Scout did you get your homework done?"

"Yeah it's there on the table." Pony said as he walked off to his bedroom. "Goodnight."

I wandered into my room as well and climbed into bed. I strained to listen to what Darry and Soda were whispering about in the living room. I closed my eyes to help me hear.

"What did it look like? Was it really bad?"

Soda's whisper was louder than Darry's whisper. "Yeah it was. I wasn't sure how I would feel about seeing it, but I am glad I did. If you want to I will go there with you tomorrow."

"I'm gonna go and see it, but I will go on my own after work tomorrow."

"You sure you want to go alone, cause Steve'll cover for me and I can meet you there."

"Thanks little buddy, but I'll be ok. Now you get yourself to bed."

"Ok Darry, goodnight." Soda walked through the kitchen as Darry told him to have a goodnight.

My oldest brother turned off the lights in the living room and turned on the kitchen light. Through the door way I could see him pull a plate and glass out of the cupboard along with the jar of peanut butter. He put six slices of bread on the plate and I wandered in to see if I could help.

As he turned from the refrigerator with the milk and strawberry jelly he jumped when he saw me. His embarrassment led to his snapping at me. "Scout get to bed, will ya?"

I took the jelly from him. "Why don't you go get your clothes changed and wash up and I'll make your sandwiches for you. Then I'll go back to bed."

For a moment Darry just stood there. He was probably debating whether or not he should demand I follow his direction, but eventually he let me win and he walked off to the bathroom. I spread the peanut butter and jelly onto the bread making three sandwiches. Then I cut each sandwich into four squares, meaning a twelve bite meal for Darry, and put them on the plate. I filled his glass with milk, cleaned everything up and put the nighttime snack on the kitchen table for him and went back to bed.

I heard Darry shuffling from the bathroom to the kitchen. He stopped by the small table in there and I heard a tiny laugh. My brother walked over to the door to my room. "Thanks Sissy." Darry smiled and pulled the door shut so the light from the kitchen wouldn't keep me awake.


	9. Chapter nine

Chapter nine 

Steve pulled his car into the school parking lot the next morning. Everyone piled out of the crowded car and walked toward the school. As we got close to the side entrance I looked to the top of the stone steps and noticed James waiting for me. I smiled and he smiled back.

I stopped in front of him. "Hi there."

"Hey," James had his hands shoved into his pockets. "I thought I'd walk you to your locker."

"Eeewwwweeee!" Two-Bit teased as he stood behind me.

I had to laugh because Two-Bit had that effect on me. "Come on James let's get going." We walked into the school and James escorted me to my locker. I opened the metal door and pulled out three classes worth of books.

"Wow! That's a lot of books." James leaned up against the metal locker next to mine.

"Well, I don't like to come around here a lot." I motioned toward the groups of socs in the hall.

James looked at the crowds and sighed. "I was wondering if everything turned out alright for you last night? I'm really sorry about taking you there."

"Don't be." I shut my lockers and cradled my books in my arms. "No one knew the car was there. Actually it was kind of nice to know how it happened and all." I looked into his green eyes and he returned the look.

"I did forget something yesterday." Before I could ask what he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. He then smiled at me and noticed the new necklace. "Who gave you this?" He demanded to know.

I smiled. "My mom and dad."

"Oh," James relaxed a little, "I thought you may have got it from another guy."

I looked at him weird and he then walked me to my first class.

James sought me out a few times during the day to check up on me and walk me to class. It felt weird to all of a sudden have him around when he was never there before. The rest of the week he met me each morning at the side door. He was making a habit of walking me to my locker and I began to look forward to him being there everyday. I was starting to realize why Soda enjoyed dating so much. On Friday James asked me out on a real date to the movies. I looked forward to asking Darry for permission and couldn't wait to get home.

While I was leaving school I ran into Two-Bit in the hallway. "Hey Sissy! Ready for a wild weekend?" 

I heaved my ten pound book bag up on my shoulder and sighed. "The only thing wild about my weekend is the amount of homework I have to do."

"Don't sweat it baby!" Two-Bit slapped the bag. "You are a smart kid, you'll get it all done."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I joked and we met up with Ponyboy and Johnny on our way to Steve's car.

Ponyboy lit up a cigarette. "Scout why didn't you come to the store for lunch with us?"

"I went to the activities office over lunch to get a listing of the clubs at the school."

"Clubs?" Pony's raspy voice asked. "What kind of clubs?"

"I don't know. I just want to do something, ya know get involved in something. Darry had football and you have track…I want something."

Johnny looked over at me. "What do you want to do?"

"That's the problem. I just don't know. Steve says I should join the choir and Sandy suggested cheerleading."

Ponyboy laughed. "I doubt they will let you try out for cheerleading."

I stopped and looked at the boys. "I don't get it. Why does everyone keep saying they would never let me be a cheerleader?"

"Cause you're a greaser!" Two-Bit yelled out.

I argued. "No I'm not! I'm not anything… I'm just Scout Marie Curtis."

"Doesn't work that way in high school." Johnny said as he pushed his hands in his pockets. "Ya gotta fit in somewhere."

I shook my head and started walking toward the car again. High school was dumb! I couldn't believe how petty things were becoming. Everyone was taking sides and claiming an identity. The whole set up made me sick. Why when I was here with Darry was I just a sweet little girl and now that he is gone and I am hanging around with the gang more was I considered a greaser? Was life going to be like this from now on?

At home the house was full of people so I made spaghetti for dinner. It wasn't very expensive and everyone loved it. We had a jar at home in the kitchen and a lot of times the guys in the gang would put a dollar or some change in the jar to help pay for groceries so feeding everyone never bothered Darry.

Dally, Johnny and Two-Bit sat in the living room to eat dinner. Everyone in my family ate at the dining room table with Sandy, Steve and Evie. The house was loud with all the talking and the radio on in the living room. I sat quietly and ate my spaghetti then I looked across the table at the piano. It had been over a month since I had played.

Soda noticed my stare and leaned over to me. "Are you going to play it or just stare at it?"

I answered back. "I think I am going to just stare at it."

"Awe come on Scout." Soda drawled. "You haven't played a thing for weeks. Sandy here hasn't heard you play and I told her you were real good at it."

The conversation at the table went quiet and Sandy smiled at me. "It would be nice. I haven't ever known anyone who could play the piano."

I pushed my plate away from me and thought about the request. I was feeling better regarding my parents death and had been thinking about playing for a few days. Besides Sodapop wanted me to play and it was hard to tell him no. "What do you want to hear?"

Soda grinned and clapped his hands together. "Anything you want! Guys turn the radio off Scout's going to play the piano."

I cracked my knuckles and thought about what I was going to play when a knock came at the door. Dally stood up to answer it. He pulled the door open and everyone looked to see who it was. James walked in and I stood up.

"Hi Scout." He said as he stood up to look a little tougher around the gang. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me tonight."

Well how was I suppose to say no? He had the nerve to ask in front of everyone and that sure was tough. I looked over at Darry. "Can I?"

The question caught Darry off guard. I don't think he had made time to think about what he would say when I asked to go out alone. Darry stood up to intimidate James in an older brother protective sort of way. "Not with out a chaperone."

A look of shock came across my face. "What?" I couldn't believe his request. I didn't want to take anyone from the gang with me on a date! I thought a second and playfully sassed back. "Fine… call Kathryn then and we'll all go out."

Darry smirked at the comment. He knew he wasn't going to call Kathryn so they could double date with a few kids. He also started to realize his request may have been a little too protective. Darry sighed and gave in, a little. "Ok you can go out alone, but I want you home by ten o'clock."

"Ten o'clock?" I yelled out as Ponyboy and Sodapop cracked up laughing.

"That's the deal…and I want to know where you are going." Darry looked over at James waiting for an answer.

"Uhhh…" James stumbled for his words. "We are just going to go hang out at the Dingo for awhile."

"I'll get my sweater." I trotted to my room. I was still in my school clothes and looked fine in my Capri pants and a button up short sleeve shirt. Darry walked over to stand next to James with his chest puffed out and his muscles bulging. Soda snickered a little at Darry's silent, I'll kill you if you hurt her, stance. Soda knew how intimidating Darry was to everyone else, except him.

As we left the house Darry yelled out "ten o'clock and not one minute later!" Outside the Weston boys were waiting in the car. James and I crawled into the backseat. It was already seven thirty as we headed to the Dingo. I watched the scenery go by the window as James held my hand. I noticed the Weston boys weren't headed toward the Dingo, in fact they were headed in the opposite direction. I leaned over and whispered to James. "I thought you said we were going to the Dingo?"

James eyes sparkled with deviance. "Yeah that's what I told your brothers, but we are really going over to the pool hall on Tipton Ave.

I sat back in my seat and thought about the switch. If Darry knew I was going to The Cue he would skin me. I didn't know what to do. I guess if I am home by ten and Darry doesn't ask me directly where I was he wouldn't know. I tried to loosen up to enjoy the night.

When we got to The Cue it was packed with under age teenagers and smoke. We found a pool table in the back and I watched James play a few games. "You wanna play?" He finally asked me after an hour and took a big drink to finish off his second beer.

I shrugged and smiled. "I really don't know how to."

"That's ok, I'll teach you." James looked down at me and we kissed. "Rack em up Jon!"

As James helped me hold the cue and take the shot I could tell he was purposely breathing in my ear. His warm breath tickled and I laughed. The place was loud, filled with trashy women, and the bartender was serving the minors beer, but I didn't care. I was having a lot of fun.

The Weston boys beat us at every game and finally James threw in the towel. "You guys know I'd beat you if my partner here didn't suck," he said playfully then he turned to me. "Let's get out of here for awhile."

I didn't mind leaving. A lot of the rougher guys from Sheppard's gang were there as well as some guys from the neighborhoods down by the steel mills. We walked outside and it felt good to breath some fresh air.

"Why don't we go sit in the car?" James suggested and I naively accepted the invitation. I was too young and too inexperienced to know what went on in the backseat of cars.

We climbed in and James pulled the door shut behind us. He looked at me and smiled then leaned in close and began kissing me. I willingly kissed him back even though he tasted like beer and cigarettes. We kissed and kissed and kissed. I didn't know why it felt so good, but it was intoxicating. James pulled away slightly and kissed my earlobe sending sensations through my body. Next he kissed my neck and the nape of my neck and then he returned to my lips. His lips were soft and warm as he parted them and slid his tongue into my mouth. My body jumped a little as I panicked. I had never French kissed before and I wasn't sure if I knew how, but I just sunk into the seat and let James take the lead.

Slowly as we kissed we fell further and further into the seat, dropping out of sight from the window. James pulled away from my lips and kissed my neck again. I looked up at the ceiling of the car and wondered why was laying here with this boy on top of me. I wondered if I really wanted to be here. James returned to my lips and I kissed him back. I felt James hand that was resting on my hip move up slowly, caressing my waist then passing over my bellybutton the further up to my…

"James!" I pulled away. "Stop."

He laughed at me. "Oh come on Scout!"

I pulled myself out from under him and leaned against the back door. "It isn't going happen."

"Come on Scout." He begged. "You know I care about you. I've been waiting for weeks!"

I didn't fall for his pleading. "I'm ready to go home. It's probably getting close to ten o'clock anyway."

James frowned and offered up puppy dog eyes. "You aint mad at me are you?"

I had to laugh at his face. "No… come on lets go get your friends so I can get home."

We climbed out of the car and headed back into the pool hall. I checked my hair with my hand to make sure I didn't look to dishevealed. Inside I checked the clock, nine forty. I waited a few minutes for James to tell the Weston boys that I needed to go home, but he didn't. Instead he helped himself to another beer and then I saw a not so welcome face.

Cindy came strutting across the room and headed straight for James. Her blouse was open one button lower then the last time I saw her and her skirt was really short.

James held my hand tightly and leaned up against the wall as the temptress stopped just short of pressing against him. "Having fun tonight James?" She touched his lips with her finger then shot a glare over at me.

"Cindy I am having all the fun I need." He responded to her without much emotion.

"Well if you are looking to have more fun then you'll ever want…" She lifted her right leg up and rubbed his jeans with her inside thigh. "You know where to find me."

James pushed her away a little and she walked away laughing. I realized at that moment how a real tramp behaved. I was not a tramp! I looked up at James and tried to figure out why he liked me when he could have done whatever he wanted with Cindy anytime he wanted. I couldn't figure it out.

James took a big gulp of his beer and pulled me toward a pool table. "Come on let's play a game."

I tried to look at the clock. "Ok, but then I need to get home." James didn't answer. During the game he had two more beers and I could tell he was getting more and more drunk by the minute. I also couldn't find either of the Weston boys.

"James I need to get home! Darry will kill me for being late."

James leaned down and kissed me again. This time I pulled away angry and he drunkenly drawled in response. "Come on… loosen up and have some fun!"

I stepped back and looked at him. Ponyboy was right. I didn't need to be dating anyone from Sheppard's gang. They were all irresponsible hoodlums, and the longer James hung out with them the more he lost that gentleness that I had loved so much. I turned walked out of the pool room past the bar. As I passed the door a girl jumped out in front of me. It was Cindy.

"Where you going?" She shot out and tried to act tough. I looked at her bra showing from the opening in her blouse, told her she could have him and pushed her aside.

I went outside to the telephone booth in the parking lot. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a dime from the change I had taken from my mother's coin purse. Slowly I dialed home. As the dial rolled back from the last number and began to ring I slammed my forehead into the glass side of the phone booth out of frustration. What was Darry going to say?

"Hello." Darry answered as if he knew who was calling.

"Darry? It's me Scout." I waited for the scolding, but Darry stayed silent. "Hey I… I am going to need a ride home. Will you come and pick me up?"

I heard Darry sigh, "yeah I'll be there in a minute, sit tight."

"Darry wait!" I had to yell to get his attention again.

"yeah?"

I exhaled and said quietly. "I'm not at the Dingo. The guys went to the The Cue. I'm there."

"You're where?" Darry yelled and I could tell he was angry.

"At The Cue on Tipton Avenue."

"I'm on my way." Darry hung up the phone.

I hung up my receiver too and was really disappointed in myself. I pulled the glass door open and was surprised to run into James who was waiting for me to get off the phone. "Scout what are you doing?"

I was pissed. "I'm going home! I was suppose to be home at ten and I was suppose to be at the Dingo, but I wasn't and I'm not and I am in big trouble!" James grabbed my hand and I pulled away. "My life isn't like yours. I can't just go where ever I want!"

"Yeah but…" James whined and stumbled a little from the alcohol. "Cindy told me you told her you were through with me. I don't want that."

I looked at him. "James I am only fourteen years old! There is so much you want that I'm just not interested in."

"But… that's all ok with me." He whined again and wrapped his arms around me. "Scout you know I really like you. I'm sorry about tonight." He leaned in and kissed me. "I'll wait out here and talk to your brother when he gets here. I'll tell him it's all my fault."

I thought about the offer. If James stayed outside Darry may just beat him. That could be good, then he wouldn't beat me. We sat down on a bench outside the pool hall and waited the few minutes it took Darry to race over and get me. I looked over at James. "I really don't think we should see each other anymore…"

James didn't have time to respond as Darry pulled into the parking lot. We stood up and walked toward the truck. James pulled the door open for me and leaned on it. "Mr. Curtis I just want you to know that being late and in the wrong place and all isn't Scout's fault. She wanted to be home on time but I couldn't find the guys who were suppose to take us home."

Darry offered up a cold stare for James and simply said. "Scout get in the truck." Obediently I climbed in and refuse a kiss from James. Darry pulled the truck into gear and James pushed the door shut. As we pulled away I was sure to keep my stare out the window, but I could tell Darry wasn't going to keep quiet very long.

"This is just great Scout! You know what the worst part is?" Darry asked rhetorically. "I don't know whether to be pissed you weren't where you were suppose to be or to be pleased you at least were responsible enough to call me for a ride."

I let his comments fall to silence a moment before I commented. "Just so you know, I didn't know they weren't going where they said they were and when we got there I… I just didn't know what to think. I figured if I was home by ten it wouldn't matter."

"I don't think you should see that boy anymore." Darry shot back. I was lucky that he wasn't as mad as I thought he would be.

"I know." I said. I never imagined dating would be so confusing.


	10. Chapter ten

Chapter ten 

I bummed around the house all morning. I stayed in bed so I wouldn't be the first one up and have to make breakfast for everyone. Luckily Soda didn't think that way so he made breakfast. Afterwards I went back to bed and read my book until late in the morning when Dallas came into the house.

"Hey ya'll!" Dallas yelled over the television that Ponyboy had turned up so he could hear the show while he washed the dishes.

"Hey Dally." Johnny said from the couch. Both Johnny and Steve stayed the night at our house and hadn't planned on leaving.

"I just talked with Sheppard's gang and they are coming over in a bit to play football. I told him it's us against them and the losers pay." Dally was always good at scamming money from others. He knew our gang was better at football, even with me on the team.

"How many guys are they bringing?" Steve asked.

Dally lit up a cigarette. "I don't know, six or seven. Let's get to the lot, Two-Bit is meeting us there."

The boys all got ready and I laid in bed staring at the ceiling when Darry popped his head in the room and told me to hurry up. I guess I was playing. I put on my sweatpants and tennis shoes and was the last one out the door.

We got to the lot and had time to practice plays and throws before the other team arrived. I turned and watched the two car loads empty. Curly and Tim Sheppard, Wes Johnson, the kid with the hair lip whose name I didn't know and five greaser girls. I was sure the girls were there just to watch. I was the only girl in either of the two neighborhoods who ever played football with the boys. I don't think Sheppard would let a girl play with him even if she wanted to. I looked the girls over and noticed Cindy and her friend. I walked over and sat on an abandoned car next to Sandy and Evie. A few minutes later a third car showed up and Two-Bit got out with the Weston boys, Bill Nelson and James. That made eight players so I would have to get in the game for sure.

My gang gathered around and Darry whistled for me. "Scout get over here!" I jumped off the car and slowly joined the guys. Last time we had played Sheppard for money we lost and Steve had a tooth knocked loose. It wasn't going to be an easy afternoon.

Tim Sheppard stepped forward with a silver dollar. "The prize is twenty dollars. Get that girl over here to flip the coin." Tim pointed to me and I obliged. Darry and Tim were captains and Darry let Tim call the toss.

"Heads." Tim said as I tossed the coin into the air. It flipped around, I caught it and flipped it onto the back of my hand. I revealed the tails side of the coin.

"Tails, it's Darry's call." I said and looked up to see James standing very close to Tim. I looked away.

Darry smiled, he loved winning even if it was just a coin toss. "Loser's walk." Darry said arrogantly meaning we were going to kick the ball first and they would be running the ball back. We had the same rules as a birthday game. We play for ninety minutes, no ties allowed.

Darry gathered us together and handed me the ball. "Give it a good kick Scout." I was often the kicker because I was small and not a good tackler. Johnny wanted to be the kicker, but I was better at it then him.

We lined up and got ready to begin the game. The five greaser girls had climbed onto the abandoned car with Sandy and Evie and they were hollering for their team to win. I grabbed the ball and was just about to kick it when I heard Cindy yell out. "Let's go James honey!" I fumed and gave the ball one of the best kicks ever. The game was on as the boys ran down field and tackled Curly Sheppard only a few feet from where the ball was caught.

Darry watched as Sheppard's gang lined up for the offense. "Ok… Pony, me, Scout and Dally will watch the runners the rest of you go for the blocks and the quarterback." We lined up and I purposely chose the opposite side of the field that James was on. As I stood there I could hear Cindy shrieking for James. Her voice grated on my nerves. The ball was spiked and I heard Darry yelling out the count. On three I took off after the hair lip boy and looked back just in time to notice the throw was to him. The pass was a little over his head and he tipped the ball instead of catching it. The ball tumbled my way and I snagged it out of the air, turned and ran in the direction of our end zone.

"Go Scout!" I heard Sandy yell for me. I had to cut to the other side of the field where Darry and Two-Bit had made blocks for me to get by the other team. I was ten feet from the end zone when I felt a hard tackle from behind that took me down hard. I held tight to the football until I was sure the play was over. I looked up to find James sitting right next to me.

"Nice interception." He smiled, but his green eyes and dimples didn't do anything for me this time.

"Nice girlfriend." I snapped and got up and tossed the ball back to Tim.

James jogged up along side of me and was sure to add. "She's not my girlfriend. I didn't ask her to come."

I acted as if I didn't hear him, but I did and I was happy to know he hadn't moved on to her so quickly.

Soda played quarterback and in one smooth motion he rocketed the ball to Darry. We were ahead by a touchdown early in the game. Sheppard's team struggled against us. I figured it was because half his team was still hung over from the night before. We had two touchdowns before Sheppard's team got their first.

In the second half of the game I lined up with against the hair lip boy, whose name was Lou, but as the play was called James switched sides with him. I rolled my eyes and James took off running. I followed him each time but in the first few plays he never got the ball. What he did get was time to talk to me while we walked back to the line of scrimmage. He asked me if I got in trouble and I ignored him, he asked me if I had a good morning and I ignored him, he asked me if I planned to ignore him the whole game and I said "yep."

"Awe come on Scout you can't be mad at me the whole time!" He yelled too loudly and some of my gang heard him.

"What's up with them?" Two-Bit asked to no one in particular.

"Nothing," Darry snapped back, "just play the game." That was all the boys needed to tell things did not go well on my first date.

Cindy heard what James said too and she had to add her own comments. "Baby! Don't worry about that tramp! You don't need her anyway!"

Sheppard snapped another play and launched the ball right to James. He caught it and turned to run but I dove for his waist and pulled him down. James flipped over and smiled at me. "Nice tackle."

Then from the sidelines Cindy and her friend cursed me out. "Don't let that witch drag you down! Come on honey you can do it."

"Shut up!" James finally yelled but Cindy didn't care what he had to say. James held out his hand and helped me off the ground.

She yelled in response not caring that he didn't want her there. "You know you love me baby!"

"Shut up…" James yelled and added a few curse words that only seemed to make Cindy want him more.

Two-Bit jogged over to me, looking tough. "What's the deal?"

"Nothing." I told him.

"Don't sound like nothing." Two-Bit stared down Cindy. "You got a problem?"

"Yeah I got a problem with that there whore." Cindy yelled and jumped off the car. Her friend stayed at her side.

Two-Bit got mad and was ready to do what ever he needed to defend my honor. "I think you oughtta get on out of here before I shut you up myself."

"Why don't you let the girl fight her own battles?" Cindy wandered closer to us. "Or is she a sissy or something."

Two-Bit grinned back as the gangs crowded around. "If it's a cat fight you want I am sure I can arrange it."

"Let's go witch!" Cindy tried to egg me on.

One of the Weston boys yelled out. "I got five dollars on Cindy. She'll tear that little girl to shreds."

Steve turned around. "I'll take that bet." He smiled because he knew I was much tougher than I looked.

I turned to walk away. "Put your money away, I'm not fighting her." I didn't make it two steps when Cindy hurled a rock at me. I looked back and saw Soda start to charge toward her and Dally held him back.

Dally looked at me. "Go shut her up once and for all Scout!"

I looked over at Darry who was standing tall with his arms across his chest. He looked at me and nodded toward my enemy. I understood that Darry was giving me the ok to fight too. I turned and looked at her. She was definitely older and taller than me. That would be a big factor whether I would be able to win.

Soda wandered to my side. "Scout, there comes a time in your life when you just need to settle things once and for all."

I understood what my brother was saying and he built up my confidence. I wanted her to leave me alone and I didn't think she had any plans to without a little persuasion. "Fine … I'm in."

I walked toward Two-Bit who was still staring my opponent down. Darry came to my side to whisper some tips into my ear. "Remember keep your guard up and be sure to follow through with your punches. Keep your feet moving and your head up." Darry knew what he was talking about. He was the one who taught me to fight. Before rumbles he always let me try to punch him so he could practice blocks and dodges.

The guys had their bets placed. Mostly Sheppard's gang was supporting Cindy and my guys had money on me. I glanced over at my brothers who were standing together. I stepped into an open area a few feet from Cindy. She pulled her sleeves up. The guys started to root for their own girls.

I felt my heart rate begin to rise as I pulled my hands up into the blocking position. My fingers were curled into fists. Cindy mimicked me and she circled around me. I patiently waited for her to throw the first punch. I would never consider being the instigator in a fight. Also I knew that the longer I held out the more desperate she would be to get the fight started.

An unfamiliar voice yelled out. "Come on stop dancing and hit someone already!"

That was all Cindy needed to step forward and launch her first punch. She threw a fist at me and I ducked out of the way just enough so only the side of her hand grazed my cheek. Before she could think of throwing another punch I hit her with my right fist and then my left. The hits were solid and I could feel the bones of her face connect with my knuckles. Cindy went down on her knees to the ground and was stunned for a few seconds before she charged at me to tackle me to the ground. Unsuccessfully I tried to get out of the way but she grabbed my waist and out weighed me. On the ground she pulled my hair and I threw a right hook up and hit her square in the bottom of her jaw. The sound of her teeth smashing together was loud and she rolled over onto the ground unconscious.

Steve started to hoot and holler over my victory and Dally was collecting the bets. I looked at Cindy. Instantly I felt bad for hurting her and I crawled over to her fallen body. I grabbed shoulders and shook her. "Are you alright?" She didn't answer and her friend came to kneel by her side. I looked up at the other girl and she spit in my face.

Before anything else could happen Darry pulled me up from the ground and away from the scene. I wiped the saliva from my face and started to shake. I was scared for Cindy, and me! I didn't want to be in any trouble. I looked up at Darry who was smiling for me. I tried to understand why he would be smiling when I had just knocked out another human being. What I didn't understand was that the guys always fought for honor and they just considered me one of them, so it was ok. In their eyes I had experienced a right of passage.

Soda and Pony came over and gave me a few hugs and rubbed my head. "Toughest sister in the neighborhood!" Soda boasted.

Curly Sheppard was cheering when he leaned over Pony's shoulder. "You are one tough broad! You don't look it, but you are…. Will you marry me?"

Ponyboy playfully shoved Curly away and James came up behind him. "Don't worry about her Scout. She asked for it."

I watched as Cindy groaned and sat up. Only the Weston boys had gone to her side. Two-Bit yelled to them. "Get your trash on out of here we have a game to play." I looked over at James who was laughing at Two-Bit's directions. But the guys listened. They helped Cindy stumble over to the abandoned car and they left her there.

The rest of the game James lined up in front of me whenever he had the chance. With each play he offered me a smile and with each smile I began to get a little less angry with him. By the end of the game my team had won 28-14. Sheppard's gang paid up and packed up being sure to take Cindy with them. I would find out later that she had suffered a concussion when her teeth slammed together. With a little bed rest and a lot less yelling she recovered.

The Sheppard boys and James stuck around after the game.

"Scout? Can I talk to you?" James called out.

I walked over to him. I really liked him, but he wasn't as perfect as I wanted him to be.

"I wanted to know if you and your brothers would give me a second chance. I was wondering if you would want to go to the drive in movies with me tonight. Now that I know how tough you really are I'll keep my hands to myself."

"I doubt my brother would let me go out with you again."

Those green eyes did have a magic charm to them. "Well I'll go and ask him myself" and he walked straight to my biggest brother. "Mr. Curtis," he said trying to be formal but it just sounded stupid and my gang laughed at him. "I know we didn't get off to a good start and all, but I was wondering if Scout could go with me to the drive in movie tonight." James didn't bat an eye.

Darry looked down and sternly said. "No!"

James wasn't expecting not to be forgiven. He was used to getting everything he wanted. James laughed nervously and shifted his weight. "Are you serious?"

Darry's cold blue eyes didn't blink. "Yep." I was standing a few feet behind James and wasn't sure how I felt about Darry's decision.

"So that's it huh? One strike and I'm out?" James said angrily. Then he turned to me and grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me. Everything about the moment was just like a romance novel and again sensations flew through my body. I stood there stunned as James stormed away.

Soda said quietly. "Awe come on Darry give the boy another chance."

I looked at Darry and noticed he didn't answer Sodapop. Maybe Darry was wrong about James? Maybe I was right? Maybe he was gentle and kind like my brothers?

Without permission I ran after him. I caught up to James at the end of the block and offered him a sarcastic remark . "Hey… technically you have two strikes against you."

James stopped and looked at me as I smiled. "One for not being where you said we would be and one for not having me home on time."

James rolled his eyes. "Fine, if that were true I should still have one strike left."

I bit my lower lip and asked. "If you had one left to use, would you?"

James looked serious. "Not on purpose."

We walked back to my house and we talked for a few minutes on my front porch till the Sheppard boys drove by to pick James up and the gang came home. As Darry walked up the steps he stopped in front of James in a threatening posture. "One more chance."

James smiled and his dimples tucked far into his cheeks. "Thanks," he said. He noticed the Sheppard boys were waiting for him. "Is it alright if we go to the drive in tonight?"

Darry stopped in the doorway while the guys all stood by and listened. "Yeah, but I want her home by ten!"

James turned to me. "I'll pick you up at seven." I think he wanted to kiss me, but not in front of my brothers. I breathed in the fresh air and thought, one more chance was all right by me.


	11. Chapter eleven

Chapter eleven 

The boys, their girlfriends and I trampled up the stairs and into the house. Johnny and Ponyboy disappeared to Pony's room. Soda headed to the kitchen to find something to make for dinner for ten people and the rest of us gathered in the living room and dining room.

Dally counted the money we won from the Sheppard gang and handed it over to Darry. "Here you go. There's twenty dollars to help pay for all the food we eat." Dally was always sure to give us money to help pay for things. We had played Sheppard's gang four times for money and only lost once. Even when my parents were alive Dally was sure to convince all the boys to give their share of the winnings to the Curtis family kitchen. No one ever disagreed because our house was the place that everyone hung out.

I sat on the couch next to Sandy and Evie while Steve looked for something to watch on the television.

"Scout," Evie started the conversation with pride in her voice, "you sure showed that girl where to go!"

"And she's gonna be there for days!" Two-Bit laughed on his way to the kitchen.

Sandy laughed along with the others and added, "You're going to be fighting off a lot more girls than her in the next few years."

The comment drew everyone's attention but I didn't understand what she meant. I sure wasn't planning on becoming one of those girls who gets into a lot of fights. "What do you mean?"

Sandy tucked her golden blond hair behind her ear. "Well with your blue eyes and the Curtis family good looks pretty soon your brothers are going to have to beat the boys off with a stick." I laughed, I couldn't imagine that to be true. "I mean it!" Sandy blushed hoping the gang wouldn't think she was stupid for commenting. "She is going to be breaking a lot of hearts."

Steve found a show to watch and jumped on the couch with Evie crowding the rest of us. To make room I decided to get up and go to my room. I made it about two steps before Sylvia came in to the house.

"Dally!" She called to her boyfriend. "I just came from Connie's house and she said you all whooped the Sheppard gang in football." Sylvia was a rough girl with trashy clothes and the desire to spread herself around, if you know what I mean. She sat on the edge of the armchair and rubbed Dally's bare chest that shown through his torn t-shirt. "And you!" Sylvia screeched and pointed at me. I pointed back to myself to be sure she was talking to me. I rarely talked to Sylvia, she was a hood. "Yeah! You sure did a number on that Cindy girl. I heard you took her down with one punch because she was hitting on your boyfriend."

I thought about the words and knew the rumors were beginning. "He's not really my boyfriend. We aren't going steady or anything like that."

"Girl!" Sylvia rambled on. "You don't need a letterman's jacket or anything like that to be someone's boyfriend. The way James has been rambling on about you in the past few weeks at parties and at the Dingo I swear you two were engaged or something."

Now Darry's curiosity was peaked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean he's nuts about her. He's been counting the days till her birthday and telling everyone how pretty she is." Sylvia blew a big bubble with her gum and let it pop and snap before sucking it back into her mouth. "Darry I'm surprised you are even letting her date someone with a juvie record."

Darry looked over at me for an answer. I was as confused as him so I asked. "What do you mean a Juvenile record?"

Sylvia sat up oblivious to the fact that Darry and I considered a criminal record to be unappealing. "Yeah, he just got out before he moved here with his mom."

I felt my hopes for James and I sink. "What was he in for?"

"I can't remember. Fightin' I think."

I looked at Darry then I looked at Dally. He was a product of the reformatory system and no one held that against him. I began to make excuses. "Well James seems nice enough. Maybe reformatory school worked and he is … well… reformed?"

Sylvia blew and popped another bubble. "Yeah kid, maybe."

I finished leaving the room. Instead of going to my room to read I went to talk with Ponyboy about what I had learned. I walked through the kitchen and was stopped by Soda and Two-Bit who were boiling potatoes and had a ham in a pan ready to go into the oven. Soda looked over. "Don't worry about that Juvie thing Scout. If he is nice to you that is all that matters."

Two-Bit added. "Yeah… and if he isn't let us know so we can beat the crap out of him."

I laughed. "Ok Two-Bit I'll let you know."

Two-Bit winked at me. "You do that!"

I walked down the hall thinking about how the boys didn't know anything about my first date with James. If they had known about the deception they would not be sticking up for him now. I knocked on the door to Pony's room. When I opened the door I could smell cigarette smoke as it wafted out into the hall. I flopped down on the bed. "Pony that stuff is gonna kill you!" Then I choked on the lack of fresh air. "Or kill me!"

Johnny got up and opened a window to air the room out.

"What's up?" Pony asked.

"I don't know." I groaned. "Well I mean I don't know what to do." I rolled to my side and propped up on my elbow so I could look at Pony. "Sylvia just came over and told me that James has been in reformatory school for fighting. Why do you suppose he didn't tell me?"

Johnny sat up in the wooden desk chair he was sitting on. "It's not like that is something you would want to tell a girl right away."

Ponyboy laughed along with Johnny. "Do you think Dally pulls out a copy of his police record when he meets a girl he likes."

I rolled my eyes at the two of them laughing at me. "So you don't think it's a problem?" I sat up on the bed.

"I already told you that I don't think you should be dating anyone from that neighborhood." Ponyboy blew away the last of his smoke and put his cigarette butt into the trash.

I argued with Ponyboy's opinion. "Yeah but that's not really fair. How would you like it if someone constantly judged you on the neighborhood you lived in?"

Ponyboy shrugged and finally realized that he wasn't being fair.

"You know what," Johnny added. "Your mom always said how unfair it was that people judged Dally on his record, and that he was really a nice boy deep down."

Johnny had a good point. I think my mom would be cautious, but still approve of me going to a movie with James. "Thanks Johnny!" I said and headed off to the shower.

The second date worked out better than my first. Jon Weston lent his car to James and we went to the drive in, just the two of us. I tried to ask him about his criminal record before the movie, but it was hard to find time to bring it up. We spent that time kissing and making out. Thankfully James knew better then to go to far, I appreciated that. Once the movie started we watched it from start to finish because it was a spy movie and you had to pay close attention to follow along. James took me straight home after the movie and at nine forty five we pulled up outside my house.

"I had a good night Scout. Thanks for going with me." James leaned over and gave me a long kiss.

After we came up for air I knew I had to ask. "James, I had a good time too, but I want to ask you something… something personal."

"Ask me anything?"

"Did you just get out of reformatory school?"

James smiled nervously and wouldn't look at me. "Where did you hear that?"

I looked at him demanding an honest answer. "It doesn't matter who told me, I just want to know if it is true."

James sighed hard and ran his finger around the inside of the steering wheel. "Yeah it's true." He paused and thought. "I was in for beating my dad up, but he deserved it because he almost killed my mom by pushing her down the stairs. Really I was just defending her, but the judge didn't see it that way." He looked over at me with sad green eyes hoping I believed him.

I looked back and felt bad that I was considering him a hood when really he was fighting for his mother's honor. "Oh, don't worry about it James. I just wanted to know if it was true." I kissed him quickly. "Um… would you like to come in? I'm am sure Darry wouldn't mind."

James shook his head. "Naw, I think I better give your older brother sometime to cool down before I spend sometime with him."

I understood what he meant. "Ok then, good night." I got out and James pulled away from the curb. I took my time wandering into the house. I opened the door and was surprised to see Darry sitting on the couch with Kathryn.

"Hi Kathryn!" I smiled from ear to ear. "It's good to see you here!"

Kathryn stood up from the couch and gave me a tight hug. "Scout it is so nice to see you. You are getting prettier and prettier!" I blushed and Kathryn grabbed my hands and squeezed them tight. "Darry tells me you have a new boyfriend."

I blushed harder. "Well I am dating a boy, but he isn't my boyfriend… I mean we aren't going steady or anything like that."

Kathryn smiled and turned toward Darry. "Boy you sure are going to have your hands full with this one."

Darry stood up and rubbed Kathryn's shoulders. "I have my hands full with all of them." Then he smiled at me. "Scout, Kathryn and I want to go out for awhile so I can trust you to stay here right?"

I was so excited! "Of course Darry." I watched my brother hand Kathryn her purse and hold the front door open for her. "Soda and Pony are due in by midnight. See ya."

I was almost laughing I was so happy. "See ya!" The two of them walked out the door and I retired to my bed to read more of my book. I tried to concentrate, but I couldn't get images and wished of Darry and Kathryn getting married out of my mind. I so hoped those two would work out.


	12. Chapter twelve

Chapter twelve 

Sunday James called me a half a dozen times just to see what I was doing and who I was hanging out with. Each time I told him nothing and no one. Our conversations were each cut short by Darry telling me to get off the phone and back to work. You see, after church Darry made everyone stay home all day and clean the house. We had to scrub everything, including the walls, windows and the floors. Worst of all he made us go through our drawers and closets to get rid of anything we didn't fit in or use anymore. We also went through our parent's room again to be sure that we got rid of anything we truly didn't need. The day was a lot of work. Ponyboy and Sodapop found themselves agitated by the task, but I understood Darry's philosophy. A house with less clutter led to less stress.

On Monday morning James met me at the side door at school. As we walked through the halls to my locker we walked right by Cindy and she didn't say a word. She didn't say a word all week to me. Perhaps a good fight could settle things? It didn't matter though, I still felt guilty for hurting her.

Everyday that week James found me in the halls through out the school day and walked me to each of my classes. After school he walked me to Steve's car and we talked about what I did in each class and who I had talked to. I began to think he seemed to be obsessed with wanting to know everything about my day.

Friday at school James didn't meet me at the side door. Instead he walked out to Steve's car and met me there. When we were walking into school a few greasers were horsing around and they bumped into me on the steps knocking my nap sack to the ground. James snapped at them and probably would have punched them in the face if I hadn't been there to calm him down. "It's no big deal James, they were just horsing around."

"No one bumps into my girl like that!" James snapped back.

I looked at him and was surprised by his words. His girl? I decided not to say anything for fear that it would cause an argument and we went about our day.

I joined the gang for lunch and we rode over to the grocery store. Two-Bit bought sodas, and candy bars for everyone. It felt nice to be sitting on the hood of Steve's car in the warm sun. "Ponyboy, I am going to James house after school, I'll be home for dinner." I told him and took a swig of Pepsi.

"Scout you really like that boy that much?" Steve asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and thought about the question. "Sure I guess."

"Ya wanna know what I heard this morning?" Two-Bit kind of growled. Everyone looked his way and waited for the answer. "I heard he and Sylvia got into a fight over her telling you about his juvie record. Sam Kinning says they though he broke her nose the way it was bleeding so hard after James punched her."

I was mortified by learning that James had punched a girl or Two-Bit spreading a horrible rumor, but I didn't know which one to be mortified by. "When did he do that?"

"I don't know." Two-Bit said casually. "That's just what I heard."

I looked at Pony and Johnny. "Did ya'll hear anything like that?" Both of the boys shook their heads no. I sulked. What if it was true? "Well has anyone seen Sylvia? Or talked to Dally?"

Steve walked around to his door getting ready to head back to school. "I heard Sylvia was humping Tim again and Dally isn't talking to her."

That news was no help. On the ride back I had to make a choice to listen to rumors or follow my heart. I tried to think of what my parents would tell me to do. After a few minutes I was still confused because my dad would probably tell me to follow my heart and my mom would say that most rumors start from a good assumption of the facts. I finally decided to follow my heart. How could that be wrong?

After school James and I joined Curly and the Weston boys at Jon's car in the parking lot and headed to James house.

When we arrived I was expecting the other guys to come in with us, but they just dropped us off. James took me by the hand and we went in. His house was a lot like ours. Old walls, old furniture and peeling wallpaper.

James wandered over to a little metal cabinet in the corner of the living room and took out a bottle of bourbon. "Want a nip Scout?"

I scrunched my nose up, "no I don't drink"

"It's not drinking, its what a man does when he comes home from a hard day at work to take the edge off." James poured two inches of the liquor into a glass and poured the half the amount for me. We sat down on the couch and James handed a glass to me.

"Just try it." He put his glass to his lips and chugged his down. I watched as he grimaced as the liquid went down his throat. He looked over at me. "Well don't just sit there, drink up!" I looked at the illegal drink and considered it before James encouraged me further. "Come on my mom and step dad share one every night?"

He won me over with the romantic notion that we would be sharing the drink like a couple. I guess it was the female urge to "play house" that finally encourage me to give it a try. I put the glass to my lips and tipped the contents into my mouth. The horrid sour taste made me want to spit the liquid out, but I didn't consider that to be appropriate so I swallowed it. That was an even bigger mistake because the alcohol burned as it slipped down my throat and I grimaced just as James had done.

James smiled at me. "Tastes good, doesn't it?"

I was still holding my mouth shut hoping the taste would disappear and I shook my head no. A few seconds later, I had regained composure. "That stuff is horrible!"

"It's an acquired taste." James said and he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back and we didn't pull away for minutes. When we did I looked into his green eyes and tried to imagine how brave he must have had to be to defend him mother. Knowing about that made me feel safe in his arms. Then we kissed some more sharing the taste of the bourbon between out mouths.

Slowly James moved his lips from mine onto my neck. Softly he kissed the skin of my neck from right to left. I felt a warm flush fill my body and I didn't know if it was from his soft touch or the liquor. I concluded it must have been both as I allowed James to lean my body backwards onto the couch. I felt his hand move from my back to my front. This time I didn't flinch or stop him. I wanted to feel what it was like. His touch was gentle and just tight enough that it sent new sensations up my spine and alerted my senses. As we laid together I could feel his hips, his hands, his lips pressed into mine and it all felt right.

Slowly James ran his hand down my side to my hip and then back up, this time under my t-shirt. He pulled away from the kiss and whispered heavily into my ear. "Scout….. I love you. I want…." His request was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

James mother walked in. I wanted to jump up and act appropriately but James continued to lay on top of me as he looked up and greeted his mom. "Hey mom." I pushed him and he took the hint and let me sit up. I was so embarrassed. The shock of his mom walking in didn't give me anytime to think about what he had said to me. I did know one thing though, I didn't think I was in love.

His mother was dressed in her uniform from her cafeteria job at the University. She must have enjoyed the look because she still had her hair net on. She immediately lit up a cigarette and pointed at me. "That the girl you been talking about for the last month."

"Yeah mom, this is Scout. Scout this is my mom Delores."

"Please to meet you." I said and held out my hand to greet her.

Delores looked at her son and made a fake snobby face. "You were right, she does like to use her manners." She turned to me and spoke with her cigarette clenched in her teeth and offered up her hand to greet me. "Nice to meet you Scout."

She turned to her son. "James get on upstairs and fetch me my slippers and a cig pack would you?" James told her sure and he headed upstairs and out of sight.

Delores folded her arms across her chest, sucked on her cigarette and exhaled her smoke when she spoke. "I'm surprised James was able to catch a girl like you after reformatory school."

I smiled nervously, I was always nervous in front of adults. "Well my mom always told me not to judge people too much from their past."

His mother laughed. "Girl! Do you even know why he was in that reformatory?"

I thought about answering, but didn't want to bring up bad memories for the woman so I just shrugged my shoulders.

Delores didn't mind talking at all. "He beat that boy senseless! All for just looking at his girlfriend and asking for her phone number." I looked at her confused and she continued as she poured herself a tall glass of bourbon. "That boy he beat was in the hospital for weeks, nearly died. When James got out of the reformatory his daddy wouldn't even take him back. He figured James would snap and beat one his own sisters or something."

"I… I didn't know that." I stammered quietly.

"You should! I aint never seen him so crazy for a girl before. Hell he even did homework this week. He aint regularly attended school till he met you."

I smiled nervously. "Well I guess reformatory school really worked for him, huh?"

The mother burst out. "Hell it better have! It's the second time he's been there!"

"It was?" I asked dumbfounded.

"First time he was in for armed robbery and he was only 14 then." Delores chugged down the alcohol and noticed my sick expression. "I probably said too much didn't I? Well don't you worry nothing about it, he likes you and you are probably good for him."

My heart sank as I realized how horribly untruthful James had been with me. I felt like a fool and I didn't care if I was good for him, he wasn't good for me. I heard James footsteps coming down the wooden steps and he tossed the slippers and pack of cigarettes toward his mother. I tried to look happier to hide that I had learned so much negative information about him.

"Scout do you want to stay for dinner?" James asked me then asked his mom if I could. She said it was no problem.

I found an excuse. "Uh… actually no, I can't. It's my turn to cook at home and I really need to go."

James looked at me. "Come on can't your brothers fend for themselves?" He put both arms around me and pulled me close to him. "I need you to stay or I'll miss you. Besides there is something I want to ask you."

I caught a glance from his mother that said I was in for it big time, he was head over heels for me and he wouldn't be letting me go without a fight. "Really, I need to head home."

"Well, let me call Jon and borrow his car."

"Actually I think I am going to walk." I said and walked to the door. Before I could leave James was on the phone with Jon.

"Come on I'll give you a ride." We walked out together as his mom yelled that it was nice to meet me. James held my hand as we walked down the block to Jon's car. The keys were already in it and James opened my door to let me in. We rode home and James asked me if I liked his mom, I told him yes. He asked if we had a good conversation and I panicked inside. I didn't know if he had heard us or not. "Yes we had a good conversation."

Suddenly James aggressively pulled the car to the curb just two blocks from my house. For a moment I thought he was going to yell or hit me for lying about the conversation. I couldn't have been more wrong.

"Scout, I was going to tell you this at my house, but my mom came home and interrupted us." I held my breath and looked at him and he moved closer to me on the seat. "Scout, I think I love you and I want us to go steady!"

My eyes got wide and I smiled nervously. "James I am only fourteen …"

James seemed to get confused. "Well… you don't have to love me back." Then he reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a tiny piece of jewelry. He presented before me a gold ring with a beautiful blue sapphire gem and two smaller diamonds on each side.

I gasped. "Oh James I …."

He smiled big. "I got it for you to match your eyes." He took my hand and slid the ring on my finger, it fit. "Just take it, I got it for you, you're my girl."

Forever? I was stunned. I didn't know what to say so I just said thank you. James leaned toward me and we kissed. When he was done he took me home.

I ran up the porch steps and into the house, it was empty. Truth was it wasn't my turn to cook. I went to my mom's room to be alone. I looked around and began to cry for her. I needed her so much and she would never be able to be there for me again. I resolved to lay in her bed and look at the beautiful ring through my tears. I should have been ecstatic to have the ring and the charming boyfriend. Problem was he was charming in all the wrong ways. I thought of the lies and rumors that I had learned about in just the course of the day. I knew I didn't love him, and I wasn't going to keep the ring. Now I just needed to find a way to give it back to him.

I wasn't alone long as Two-Bit came wandering into the house with Ponyboy, Johnny, and Sodapop. I jumped out of bed and went to the living room with the new ring on my finger. I was happy not to be alone and wished Johnny and Two-Bit weren't there so I could talk to Soda and Pony about James. I walked toward the living room as the boys flopped into the living room furniture and Two-Bit walked by me to fetch a beer from the fridge. "Hey Sissy, how's things?"

"Good" I said and went to sit down with the others.

Two-Bit came back from the kitchen and continued with his story he was likely telling the boys on the way in. "So I run into the Brumly boys downtown and they said the fuzz is looking for Dally."

"For Dally?" Pony asked, "what'd he do?"

"Nothing, but that doesn't mean anything." Two-Bit took a big swig of beer. "I guess last night someone broke into Charlie's Pawn Shop on twenty ninth street and stole a few guns, knives and some jewelry. Dally didn't do it though, cause he was staying at my place last night."

I grabbed the ring on my finger and knew instantly how James had acquired it. Shame filled every nerve in my body as I slid the ring off my finger and slipped it into my hand before anyone noticed.

Two-Bit looked my way to change the subject. "How was your little outing with James? He still a good kisser?"

My lack of a laugh alarmed the boys and they knew something wasn't right. Soda looked over. "What's wrong Scout?"

I sat back in the armchair and lowered my eyesight to the floor. "Everything!"

"What do you mean?" Soda asked and stood up from the couch.

"Well let's just say James' last chance is all used up." The boys waited for more information. I told them about meeting his mom and learning about his aggressive and possessive behavior. I told the boys about the two stays in the reformatory, and the lies to go with it all. "….and worst of all…. he gave me this."

I pulled the ring out of my closed hand and showed it to the gang.

"Whoa!" Soda gasped. "That is one tuff piece of jewelry."

"Yeah," I huffed. "Tuff and hot! I bet he was the one who broke into the pawn shop last night!" I ran my hand through my hair and tossed my head back. "What am I gonna do? I mean I don't love him, hell I don't even care about him anymore, but what if he gets mad at me? Should I tell the police about the ring?"

Two-Bit spoke up. "No you stay away from the fuzz, that will just make him mad at you."

I felt sad and felt myself begin to choke up. "You guys I feel so stupid! How….."

Soda came to my side to give me a light hug. "Awe Sissy, don't be mad at yourself. You had no way of knowing."

"Soda what am I going to do?"

"You're going to break things off with him, that's what you are going to do!" Two-Bit ordered. "But your not going over there alone. I'll go with you. Hell any of us will, or all of us can."

I thought about the spectacle that would cause. I didn't need that. Before we could come up with a solid plan Darry came home. Of all the guys in my life I trusted Darry the most when I needed real help, so I went back to his room and told him about my horrible mistake in dating James and the sticky situation I had gotten myself into. Together we came up with a plan.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter thirteen 

The next morning everyone slept in till late in the morning. At about eleven o'clock Darry and I headed out of the house to go to see James. I climbed into the cab of the truck and looked over at my brother. "Darry, I am really sorry about all of this."

"Don't worry about it Sissy." Darry smiled. "You got the ring?"

"Yeah."

Darry put the truck in gear and did a U turn in the street. "You sure you don't want me to just go up and tell him you aint interested?"

I looked over at the joy that Darry was taking in thinking about having the last word with James. I think all guys love the opportunity to be tough to protect a girl. I laughed a little. "Nah. I'll be fine. Besides I got to take care of this myself."

A few minutes later we pulled up in front of James house. I pulled the ring out of my pocket and jumped out of the truck. I walked up the short sidewalk to the front porch. Darry got out and stood by the side of the truck with his arms folded across his chest, the short sleeves on his t-shirt rolled a few inches higher to expose his bicep muscles.

I knocked on the screen door and stepped back a few steps. As I waited for someone to answer I looked back at Darry and then towards the door as I heard it open.

Delores had come to answer the door in a short silky robe that was barely tied shut. Her hair was a mess and she had a cigarette in between her fingers. She held the screen door open for me. "Hey there Scout. James is still upstairs in bed."

I realized she expected me to come in and go upstairs to wake him. I stepped backwards. "Could you just ask James to come down please?"

Delores put her cigarette to her lips and inhaled. She looked down at me four a moment and figured that she shouldn't have said everything she had the day before. She stepped out of the house on to the porch and noticed Darry leaning against the truck. "Who's that?"

I looked over my shoulder and then back at the scantily clad mother who was grinning with impure thoughts. "That's my brother."

Delores smiled. "So good looking runs in your family huh?" She waved at Darry but he didn't wave back. Delores looked down at me. "Well I'll see if I can get him up, but I know he is sleeping off a big hangover from last night."

I turned my face away and rolled my eyes as she went back into the house letting the screen door slam shut behind her. While they were gone I thought of what I was going to say. I wasn't sure how James would react. When I heard footsteps coming down the wooden steps I moved to the edge of the porch to be sure there was plenty of space between he and I.

James came out the house dressed only in a pair of jeans that he hadn't bothered to zipper or button. "Scout? Are you ok?" James stepped toward me, grabbed my head in his hands and kissed me. I pulled away and noticed the concern in his eyes as he noticed Darry watching us. "What's he doing here?"

I looked up at James who was standing so close to me I could feel and smell his rancid breath. "I came to give this back to you." I held up the ring. "And to tell you that I can't see you anymore…I'm sorry."

James was speechless for a moment as he stared at the ring in my fingers. "I…. But….. Scout, I love you … you're my girl."

"James, I just can't see you anymore." I held the ring up higher hoping he would take it and let me leave in peace.

"Who told you?" He barked and caught me off guard when he grabbed my upper arm tightly so I couldn't walk away.

I wiggled a little in a failed attempt to get free and looked into his eyes. "No one told me anything. I'm not dumb James. I know where you got this. I'm not going to tell anyone, that's your job to do the right thing. You just need to accept the fact that I just don't want to see you anymore."

James looked across the yard at Darry who had moved a few feet closer to us. "Scout don't do this. You don't have to do whatever your brothers tell you too. You don't understand how much I need to be with you."

I took the ring and slipped it into an open pocket of his jeans. "James he isn't making me do anything." I wiggled some more to get free from his grip. "I need to go." James squeezed my arm tighter. "James you are hurting me."

James looked down with tears in his eyes and screamed. "Well you are hurting me!"

Darry moved to the foot of the steps and looked up to threaten James. "Let her go!"

James glared angrily at my brother and Delores stepped out of the screen door where she had been watching the scene. "James, just let her go. You don't need no more trouble."

Following a long tense pause James released my arm and I jumped off the porch. Darry placed his strong hand on the small of my back and led me back to the truck. Before we got in James jumped off the porch and followed us. "Scout…. Come on! You can't leave me!"

I stopped before climbing into the drivers side of the truck. James' green eyes looked so sad as they pleaded for me to stay. I thought about how I may have been his only chance to turn his life around. If I stayed with him perhaps I could convince him to be a better person. Maybe all he needed was someone like me in his life. I took one last look and climbed into the truck without saying a word.

Darry climbed in behind me and as we pulled away we heard James yell out my name one last time. I didn't look back.

Darry looked over at me and thought about how tough my life must be without my mother around to talk to about things like this. "Hey … you ok?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess."

"How about we head over to Rusty's for a milkshake?" Darry grinned hoping that would help to make things better.

I looked over and smiled back at him as my tummy rumbled. "Yeah, but to get over something like this I'm probably gonna need a cheeseburger and fries too!"

Darry tussled my hair and laughed at my bargain. "Ok, but don't tell the boys."


	14. Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen 

Sunday morning was quiet around the house until Ponyboy, Johnny and I returned from church. As soon as we stepped foot in the door Darry began barking out duties for the day. "Ponyboy don't get comfortable, you and I are headed out to the laundry mat."

Ponyboy threw his hands on his hips and complained. "Why me?"

"Because I said so that's why!" Darry stated and stomped into the kitchen yelling as he went. "Get all the dirty clothes collected!"

Ponyboy sighed loudly and stormed off to the bathroom. He didn't have anything planned for the day, but he didn't want to waste his free time cleaning clothes. I sat down on the couch with Johnny where Soda was relaxing with his feet up on the coffee table watching an old episode of Gunsmoke.

While Pony rounded up the laundry Soda jabbed me in the side with his elbow and started to laugh as if we were getting away with something. Soda tried to whisper as he laughed. "Poor boys have to wash clothes while we watch TV all day." I joined him in the laugh.

Darry had heard us snickering and looked from the dining room at Sodapop. "I don't think so little buddy." Our older brother walked into the living room with a list that he handed over to me. "You two need to get Steve's car and head over to the grocery store." Darry opened his wallet and wisely handed the cash to me. "There should be enough for what's on the list, so keep to the list!"

"Ok Darry." Soda said quietly. I looked over at my brother and realized he wasn't in a hurry to shop. Instead we stayed on the couch and finished watching the television show as Darry and Ponyboy headed out with baskets of dirty clothes with Johnny tagging along.

Thirty minutes later I was ready to go to the store, but Soda didn't move an inch. He stayed on the couch and watched a second television show. After the second show I kicked him lightly with my foot. "Soda we better get going."

"Alright … alright…." Soda moaned and stood up to stretch. Together we slipped on our shoes and headed out the front door.

"I was just waiting to see if Sandy was gonna stop by. She was out with some friends last night and I didn't see her." Soda said as we passed through the front gate and turned to the right to head to the DX station where Steve was working.

We didn't get fifty feet from our front door before we heard a familiar voice. "Well lookie here, two greasers roaming the streets?" Before we could turn around we each had a Two-Bit arm around our shoulder and a smile of his to share.

Soda smiled. "Hey what's up Two-Bit?"

"Not much, where you two headed?" Two-Bit leaned in between us while we walked.

Sodapop stuck his hands into his pockets. "Darry's making us go to the grocery store."

Two-Bit laughed. "You sound excited." Soda just smiled and Two-Bit looked at me. "Sounds exciting to me! Mind if I tag along?" Now that came out like a question, but with Two-Bit it really meant "I'll be hanging out with you two the rest of the day."

While the three of us walked to the DX Two-Bit and Soda got lost in a mindless conversation about girls and I fell back a step or two and thought about my own troubles. I sure wished I had my mom to talk to about boys.

Two-Bit was the first one to recognize Jon Weston's car cruising down the street towards us. When the three of us looked in we didn't see Jon, just James. He was staring out the window at me, driving slow, just watching. As he passed by I looked over at him, he looked anything but happy.

When the car was out of eyesight Soda looked my way. "I guess you and Darry made it pretty clear that you were calling things off with him huh?"

"I guess so." I squinted at my brother through the afternoon sun. Inside I worried about why James was in our neighborhood.

We turned the corner to the DX station. Soda noticed my sadness and wished he could make it all better. "Scout don't worry about it none. You'll find someone else."

I shot back sure of myself. "I aint ever gonna look for anyone else. I've had it with you boys."

Two-Bit laughed. "I doubt that! I bet you are boy crazy again in a month or so."

"Exactly!" I smiled. "Boys are crazy." The three of us shared a laugh.

Without hesitation Steve handed his car keys over to Soda. He would trust Soda with anything and vise versa. I climbed into the backseat of the old car and watched the scenery out the window fly by faster than it legally should.

He and Two-Bit were talking about why Two-Bit's car wouldn't start, but I couldn't hear most of the conversation over the wind from the open windows and the loud music from the radio. I watched the two talk and noticed my brother turn his head and laugh showing his chiseled profile and beautiful grin. I envied Soda because he was the type of guy that attracted others to him. Life was rarely hard for him because so many people were always on his side and would do anything for him. That's how he and Steve first met.

Soda was going into the first grade and he was really apprehensive about going to school. On his first day mom had to drag him to the front door of the school building. His shyness didn't last long. It only took Sodapop a few hours to flash his grin and with the help of his boyish mischief he had the attention of his peers. A young Steve Randall immediately realized that he and Soda made a good team. With Steve's persuasiveness and Soda's trusting eyes they convinced everyone in art class to join them in eating the paste. At story time the two of them talked so much the teacher wasn't able to finish the story book. By recess the two of them ruled their grade in dodgeball. With his charisma Soda had it made and Steve knew it. The two of them laughed so much on that first day they became friends for life. Real true friends, the kind that could never separate… like twins.

The three of us walked into the grocery store and I watched Soda grab the metal shopping cart. "Oh no you don't Sodapop!" I scolded. "I'll be in charge of driving the cart, you get the food." Grocery shopping with Soda was like taking a three year along. If you didn't watch him closely he was bound to get into mischief.

"Awe come on Sissy!" Soda whined like a three year old. "You know I'm the fastest driver in here! Pllllleeeaasseeeeeee!"

It had started already. Anytime Soda was bored he would find a way to make things fun for himself without any regard for others or the rules. I looked over at him and sighed. "Fine, but just behave ok?" I asked with as much sincerity as I could. Then I received that devil grin of his followed by Two-Bit's chuckle.

The first section in the store was produce. I was picky with produce and wanted to be sure the food we selected was of good quality. As I rooted through the apples Soda called to Two-Bit. "Hey Two-Bit, check this out." The boy grabbed three of the apples and began to juggle them, a talent he used often for attention.

I leaned over and whispered. "Soda knock it off! Put those down." My orders feel on deaf ears as Two-Bit tried to join the show.

"Soda, lets see if I can throw in a fourth one."

Soda kept his eyes on the apples as they flew up and fell down, "Ok!"

One would think that Two-Bit wanted to help Soda with his creative process, but that didn't happen. Instead Two-Bit whipped the apple right at Soda's gut forcing him to scrunch up in laughable pain, drop the apples to the floor and cause an embarrassing scene.

Like a mother with two unruly children I stormed over to where the two of them were bent over in laughter. "You two stop it! Now we are going to have to pay for those bruised apples."

In a second Sodapop's face went deathly serious. "Oh Scout, you are right we better…." The smartalick couldn't even keep a straight face. "…behave…" He choked himself with laughter.

Two-Bit threw his hands up on my shoulders and stood squarely before me with an ear to ear grin. "See Scout…That's your problem. You never, never loosen up and have fun."

I blinked and stared back at Two-Bit. He was serious even though the comment had been delivered with a smile. I looked back and him and grew defensive. "I loosen up and have fun!"

"Oh yeah? When?" Two-Bit shot back. "When you are holed up reading in your room or yelling at Steve and Soda to slow down when they drive? Nah uh Sissy, you are just to serious… don't get me wrong though. Being serious will get you outta school early and into some big fancy house, but …" Two-Bit shoved his hands in his pockets, "if you don't learn to have fun in life you are always going to be lonely and afraid."

I stood there shocked. How could Keith "Two-Bit" Matthews stand there and so accurately psycho analyze me? I thought about how my shy and reserved attitude was a shell of protection. As long as I had my books and study habits I didn't ever have to put myself out to the world to be judged, criticized or hurt. I had thought I was protecting myself in choosing never to take a risk. Not ever making friends with other girls, not bending a few social rules in the grocery store with my brother and not taking the chance to date a boy who had a world of potential but no one to lead him through. I looked back at Two-Bit and frowned. There was no argument, the man was right.

Two-Bit noticed my disappointment in myself. "Awe come on girl… don't get all upset over what I said." Two-Bit began to worry that he had hurt my feelings and he hadn't intended to.

"I'm not upset." I looked over at the boy's faces that had lost the smiles from a minute ago. I twitched the side of my mouth. "It's just that… you are right. I don't want to be that way though, I just am."

Two-Bit perked right up. "Well now this is your lucky day! It just so happens that I am available to give you some lessons in goofing off and having fun. Whada ya say?"

I smiled back. "Fine, I'll give it a try."

I finished picking the produce on the list and we moved down the aisle while Soda and Two-Bit thought about something to get me to do.

"I know," Soda said. "See that lady's cart over there? Go take some groceries out of her cart and put them in yours."

"No way!" I detested the thought of ruining someone else's day to make mine better. "Pick something else."

The two continued to think and I began to chuckle at the thought of the amount of brain power it was taking them to come up with one little stunt. 

"Oh I know!" Soda perked up. "Let's race!"

"Race?" I questioned. "Where? Here in the store?"

"Well yeah!" Soda drawled and smiled back at me. "From here down there to the freezer section."

"No," I protested again. "You'd beat me easy." I was fast, but I was short so all of my brothers had the advantage over me."

"There's no guarantee I'll beat you." Soda rolled his sleeves up a little tighter. "We're gonna race on our hands."

I had to laugh at the spectacle that would cause. I panicked inside and knew I would have to force myself to do it. "Alright… I'm in. From here to the freezer section?"

"Yep and I'll even give you a head start." Soda rubbed his hands together and tucked in his shirt.

Two-Bit giggled with excitement. "Alrighty ya'll I'll say go and run interference for you." Then without warning he whistled loudly and told the man in the aisle to move out of the way because we had a competition going on. Oddly it worked because the man pulled his cart into one of the aisles that jetted off of the main fairway we were racing on.

I tucked my shirt into my jeans and wiped my hands to be sure they weren't sweaty.

"Ya'll ready?" Two-Bit was about half the way down the aisle as he yelled to a mother to stay back till the race was over. "Marks…. Set ….Go!"

Without hesitation I popped up on my hands and the race was on. Soda and I both had excellent balance when it came to walking on our hands, but Sodapop had more endurance then me. His arms were stronger so he could stay up longer so the key to me winning was to go as fast as I could before my arm strength gave out. The two of us pitter patted on our hands to the freezer section. Two-Bit called me the winner and I threw my legs over backwards and flipped up. Soda let his feet fall back into a standing position and stood up.

Interestingly I wasn't embarrassed by the race because the few people who had stood by to watch applauded a little when we were done. I looked around at the folks smiling back at me and realized that they expected this kind of behavior from a few teenagers. No one was mad and I had a rush of gleeful adrenaline run through my body. The rest of the shopping trip was a lot less stressful too. The boys rode on the end of the cart and smashed into a cooler or two, but nothing was broken. No harm to foul and I hadn't laughed that hard in a longtime!


	15. Chapter fifteen

Chapter fifteen

Before school on Monday morning I grabbed a bowl of cereal and joined my brothers who were having chocolate cake for breakfast. Darry had brewed some coffee to have with his cake. I sure did like the smell of coffee brewing. When I sat down Darry took a sip and turned to me. "You going to be alright at school?"

I looked back at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"With James being there."

"Oh…" I hadn't even thought about James approaching me at school. I started to worry about what he might do or say, but I didn't want Darry to know I felt that way. "I think it will be fine. Besides there is always a teacher or someone around."

"I'll watch after her." Pony spoke up. "If James comes around Two-Bit, Steve and I can handle him."

Darry looked back at me. "Ok, that sounds good. You two let me know if anything happens."

When Steve showed up to drive us to school Ponyboy let him and Two-Bit know to watch out for James. As we walked toward the school building I watched out for him too. He wasn't waiting at the door, or in the stairwell or by my locker. Everything looked clear and I didn't even think he was at school. The rest of the week I worried less and less about James. It seemed he had vanished or dropped out, which made me feel a little guilty.

Friday after school Ponyboy and I choose to walk home. The weather was beautiful and warm and it had been a long time since we just walked and shared what was on our minds. We stopped in a few stores to look at things we couldn't afford, which meant we got home later than usual. When we walked into the house Soda was already there and had started dinner. "Hey Scout?" He called to me and I walked into the kitchen. "You got a letter from someone, there on the table."

I sat down in a kitchen chair and picked up the envelope. I didn't know anyone and had no idea who would be writing to me. There was no return address and the postmark was Tulsa. I opened the envelope and read the signature, _James_.

Sodapop looked over from his cooking, "well who is it from."

I stared at the letter and said absently, "it's from James."

Scout,

You have no idea how much it hurts to see you in the halls at school everyday and know that I can't talk to you or touch you or be with you. You meant everything to me. I wish there was something I could do to get you back.

James

I looked up at Soda who was waiting for a full report. "He says he's been watching me in the halls at school. I don't remember seeing him anywhere all week."

Soda grabbed the letter and read it for himself. "Oh boy Scout this kid is really nuts for you."

"Yeah I know, but I barely knew him. How could he think he likes me that much when he doesn't even know me that well?"

Sodapop shrugged and handed the page back to me. "I don't know, some guys are just like that. I know that I would be lost right now without Sandy."

"But she is crazy for you too…"

"Doesn't matter Scout." Soda stirred his dinner creation in the pot. "Some guys just fall in love faster than others. Also you can love someone even if they don't love you back. It doesn't always have to go both ways."

I looked back at the note and shoved it into the envelope. "This is all just kind of weird. Don't you think?"

"Yeah I do," Soda tasted the red sauce in the pot and I wondered what on earth he had in there and if it would be remotely edible when he was done. "I think you better show that note to Darry."

"I will." I folded the letter and pushed it into the pocket of my pants until dinnertime.

The food was on the table and we were all waiting as Darry came storming through the front door. He tossed his tool belt onto the coffee table and sat down for dinner ready to speak. "Ya'll we got a lot to do this weekend." Darry scooped a serving of food onto his plate. "Ponyboy you and me are going to the doctor tomorrow morning."

Ponyboy interrupted Darry. "The doctor? What for?"

Darry shoved the food in his mouth over to his cheek and seemed agitated about something. "To figure out why you are having so many nightmares, that's what for."

Ponyboy didn't argue because he had two nightmares just this week. Plus I think he wanted to know why he was having the nightmares too. "Well what time in the morning?"

"Nine o'clock," Darry said as he shoveled some more of Sodapop's spaghetti chili into his mouth. "And this doctor is clear across town so be ready to go at eight." Darry ignored Ponyboy's groan of disapproval and continued to plan our weekend. "We are going to be doing a lot of rearranging too. As long as Soda is going to be sleeping in Ponyboy's room with him I am moving into mom and dad's room. Scout you are going to move into my room."

"No I'm not!" I protested and got braced for yet another family argument with Darry. "I don't need a new room. I've been there for over ten years and I'd still be there if mom and dad were alive!"

My guardian threw his spoon down on his plate. "What I don't need from you three right now are arguments!" Darry glared back at me. "Mom and dad aren't here and you are moving. The State doesn't want you sleeping there and we have plenty of rooms so you don't have too."

I sassed back, Ponyboy and I were getting awfully good at sassing. "Since when do we care about what the State wants us to do? If they had their way I wouldn't even be here!" I looked across the table at Soda who had that look in his eye that said 'just stop arguing.'

The stare caused me to cease my argument just long enough for Darry to get in the next words.

"Well baby girl!" Darry said sarcastically. "We have to care what the State wants because they can pull you out of here any day the want. Besides Mrs. Marten called last night and she is planning a visit this weekend to see how things are going, so we are going to get this house cleaned up and the rooms moved. Pony and Soda…." Darry was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Soda said quietly, stood up and wandered to the door while we all watched to see who walked in.

Noticing the visitor Ponyboy mumbled to me. "Well speak of the devil."

Sodapop invited our state appointed social worker, Mrs. Marten into the house. "Oh … I see you are all eating. Just finish up and I will wait here in the living room. I have some paperwork I can do to keep busy." Mrs. Marten sat on the edge of the couch, pulled a notebook out of her bag and began to write.

Quietly Soda returned to the table and we all ate in silence. No one wanted to speak while she was listening. As the meal finished Ponyboy and I volunteered to do dishes to avoid any contact with the social worker. Soda and Darry played the "good parents" role and went to speak with her. I tried to eaves drop, but they spoke quietly and for a long time. So long that Pony and I actually washed each dish twice!

When our chore was finished we hesitantly went to the living room to meet with the woman we so despised. Quietly we pulled two chairs from the dining room table to the edge of the living room rug. 

Mrs. Marten offered up a gracious smile. "Well Darry says you two are doing fine in school and he hasn't had any problems. That's good to hear." We didn't respond and she continued. "Ponyboy I understand you are starting track team competitions next week."

"Yes'mam" Pony answered and sat up in his chair.

"Scout, Darry tells me you are getting a room all to yourself this weekend." I looked over at Darry and wished I could argue but Mrs. Marten beamed a smile at me. "I think that is wonderful! You will love having a room with privacy and a place to grow up."

"The room I have is fine." I boldly stated to everyone's dismay. "Truthfully I don't think I am moving into Darry's room."

Mrs. Marten looked over at Darry in a way that asked what he planned to do about the disagreement and Darry smiled nervously. "Well, we were just starting to talk about that when you stopped by. Scout and I haven't totally discussed that idea yet."

Mrs. Marten looked back at me with her sweet southern grin. "Well I don't think there is much to discuss. It's a great idea and it would read well in a report on your progress."

I didn't return the smile and before I could speak up again I noticed the look on Sodapop's face that said 'please be quiet!' My absence of argument prompted Mrs. Marten to take a second jab at me.

"So Scout how is the piano playing coming along? Have you been able to practice and keep up with your school work?"

My agitation with the woman grew and I got the feeling she was just trying to find something negative to justify sending me off to a girls home somewhere. I leaned back in my chair with my arms folded across my chest and sneered at the woman. "I don't play anymore because my mama is dead now. Remember? I already told you that."

The snotty comment was one to many for Darry. "Scout! Go to your room."

I stood up and put my chair back under the table. As I walked away I heard Darry apologizing for my behavior. Once I got to my room I closed the doors in a vain attempt to show the social worker that my room was as good as anyone's bedroom. I laid on my bed and picked up Ponyboy's copy of Robert Frost poetry and tried to read, but as the minutes ticked by I began to worry about what Darry would have to say about my behavior.

Ten minutes later I heard the front door go closed and Ponyboy opened my bedroom door. He leaned into my room with one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans. "Darry wants you out in the living room."

I looked up at the ceiling and blinked my eyes. Well I guess I have this coming, I thought to myself. I followed my brother out into the living room and noticed Soda talking intensely to Darry just above a whisper. I sat in the arm chair and waiting for my scolding.

When Sodapop was done pleading my case Darry whirled around to face me. Angrily he shook his finger at me. "I don't ever! Ever! Want to see that kind of snotty behavior out of you when you are talking to that lady. Do you hear me?" My brother didn't wait for a response. "Do you have any idea what in the hell you are doing? If she thinks for one minute that you aren't doing well here or that I am not doing a good job we'll all be split up and you'll find yourself a hundred miles from here with no one! Do you understand that?" Darry began to pace. "Geez Scout! I'd expect Ponyboy or Soda to pop off like that, but not you. You know better!"

After he finished I paused a little before answering just in case he wasn't really done. "Yes sir." I mumbled.

"Good!" Darry looked at the other two kids who were sitting together on the couch being sure to keep their mouths shut. "That goes for all of you! From now on when that lady is in our house you will treat her with respect and give her your attention." Darry turned back to me and his drawl thickened as his anger boiled. "And one other thing, if she wants you to play that piano you better damn well do it because if you think that just because mom and dad are gone that you shouldn't be doing the things you loved to do, you're wrong. Everyone in this house lost the same people you did Scout." That was the end of the conversation because without warning Darry stormed into the bathroom to take a shower.

Soda didn't waste anytime echoing Darry's disappointment. "Scout Darry aint wrong. In what he is saying." Even though Soda didn't yell his words, or ramble on, his short speech made me feel more guilty for my behavior than Darry's words did.

"I'm sorry." I sat forward in my chair and held my head in my hands. "Just seeing her worried me a lot. Plus I don't want to move my room. I want to stay where I am."

Soda was upset by the tension in the house when he looked over at me. "Scout they aren't coming back. They aint ever going to need their room again."

I looked over at Ponyboy expecting him to side with me. Pony spoke up. "Don't look at me! I have enough problems with Darry yelling at me cause of nightmares and all. I aint helping you out of this one."

With that said there was nothing left to discuss so Sodapop flipped on the television and we all sat there in the living room watching I Dream of Jeannie. When the show was over I realized I still hadn't told Darry about the note from James so I wandered back to his bedroom where he had stayed after finishing his shower. Lightly I knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" He called out.

I opened the door and found him sitting at his desk reading the bills. I was reminded of all the problems and responsibilities he had to deal with now. "I got a letter in the mail today from James." I held the letter out and Darry took it. His ocean blue eyes seemed concerned as I sat on the edge of his bed. "I thought I should show it to you."

Darry read the letter. "I thought you said you didn't see him all week?"

"I didn't see him. That's the creepy part."

Darry kept his thoughts to himself for a moment. "I want you to stay at home this weekend. I don't want you out roaming the neighborhood just in case this kid is out there looking for you." Darry handed the letter back to me and turned back around to the papers on his desk. "I have to work Saturday night so I'll tell Pony he needs to stay with you."

"Ok." I sighed, I knew Darry had the right idea. I stood up to leave and the thought that Darry may still be mad at me made me feel guilty for my behavior. "I know sorry doesn't change anything, but I am sorry for being mean to Mrs. Marten and to you."

Darry didn't turn back around to look at me, "Ok" was all he said.

Even though we couldn't leave the house for the weekend there was still plenty going on. Saturday afternoon we just lounged around and Ponyboy and I did our homework. By evening Darry was gone to work, Soda was home from work and the house was full of people, noise and activities. Johnny and I played poker with Two-Bit, Sodapop and Steve. Dally and Ponyboy looked through some new car magazines that Steve had brought over. Later a mess of girls stopped by including Evie and Sandy. It was fun watching the boys flirt, well at least all the boys except Ponyboy.

I sat at the table studying and trying to stay out of sight when Sandy walked over with two of her friends. "This is Soda's little sister Scout. Scout these are my friends Ellen and Cassie." I said hello to the two and Sandy continued speaking. "We were wondering if you would want to play a song on the piano like you said you were going to the other night at dinner."

I smiled and looked over at Soda to see if he was watching and if he had set me up. I was wrong because he and Steve were getting ready for a rowdy wrestling match in the living room. I though about the request and what Two-Bit had said in the grocery store. I needed to stop being afraid, so I did. "What kind of song do you want me to play?"

Sandy smiled. "Well … what are Soda's favorites?"

"He has a lot of them. I guess…." I thought hard. "He loves a Bethoven piece called Fur Elise, that one is really pretty. He also likes some wilder music like … um… Great Balls of Fire."

Sandy looked at her friends who didn't seem to care. "Play the pretty one."

"Ok, I will." I stayed in my seat. "When I am ready I will let you know, just give me a little time ok?"

"Sure thing." Sandy and her friends wandered back into the living room to watch the wrestling match and I stared over at the piano. I told her I would play a song so now I really had to follow through. To stall I got up and went to the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub and tried to tell myself that I played the piano for me and not my mom. I knew it would be hard at first, but if I played today it would be easier to play tomorrow and every day after that would be easier and easier. About ten minutes later I came out of seclusion and pulled the piano bench out to sit down.

I stared at the keys for a few moments and hesitated to place my fingers to play. I thought I would cry the first time I played without my mother, but I was wrong. Somehow the pain that had kept me from this point had dissipated and the thought of playing for Soda and the gang helped me to realize how much we all loved music and I was the only one in the house who could play.

I didn't know it but behind me with a beer in his hand Two-Bit stood by watching me as I placed my fingers on the keys and thought about the notes I would play from memory.

As I began the to play the notes Two-Bit stumbled over to the radio near mom's chair and turned the loud music off unveiling the sweet easy sounds of Beethoven. I pushed on the keys forming notes that methodically repeated each other then fell to a lower tone.

The audience in the room fell silent and listened to the song. I played it for me and knew my mother would never hear it again.


	16. Chapter sixteen

Chapter sixteen 

"Rise and shine ya'll come on we got work to do!" Darry bellowed from the kitchen. I didn't know how early it was, but it sure felt early. Darry wandered into my room. "Hey there."

"Hey." I said and wiped the sleep from my eyes.

"Soda tells me you played the piano last night." Darry smiled at me. I sure liked him better when he smiled.

"Yeah, just a few songs."

"Kathryn says that getting back to old routines is good for you."

Now it was my turn to smile. I trusted Kathryn when it came to knowing what was going to make me feel better. "What are you getting us all up so early for?"

Darry leaned against the wall and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Cause we are going to switch the room around like I said we was gonna."

I sat up in bed and made a conscious decision not to yell when I argued my point. "Darry, why can't I just stay here? I like it here. I know when people are in the house and I can hear the television at night. Your room is all the way at the back of the house. If I move there I'll be lonely."

Darry laughed at me because he thought my feelings were ridiculous. "You aint going to be lonely. Pony and Soda's room is back there, besides you are going to be getting older and …. well….." Darry looked away from me, "…more mature. It will be better for you to have a private room."

I threw myself backwards into my pillow. "I don't need a private room!"

"Yeah. Well Scout I do!" Darry stated and through me off guard. I had never thought for one moment that switching the rooms would be for Darry's benefit. "I have to step up and be the parent here. I'm twenty years old and I don't want to be sleeping in a twin sized bed across the hall from my little brothers."

I turned my head and looked at him with a grin. I was figuring out what this was about. "You want to be able to have Kathryn stay over don't you?" I blushed with embarrassment and glee.

Darry blushed too and looked away with a smile. "Well, maybe if things keep going good. Even if it's not Kathryn there may be someone in the next few years and I don't want you sleeping right outside my bedroom door."

I was so excited to think Darry was considering getting more romantic with Kathryn that I would have moved into the bathroom if I had to. "Alright Darry, I'll move. But if I don't like it I can move back right?"

"No!"

I huffed a little. "Well I can keep my bed right? I don't have to sleep in your or Soda's bed."

"Yes you can move your bed in there, but Soda's is staying in there too, you will just have to deal with it." Darry opened the door to mom and dad's room. "The doctor said Pony needs to exercise more and read more. If that works we will probably move the beds around again and have Soda and Pony share a room, but not a bed."

"What are you going to do with your bed?"

"Just move it here in your room and leave it for one of the boys if they have to come and crash here for the night." Darry said as Ponyboy wandered into my room wearing his blue jeans and a t-shirt. Seeing I was still in bed he told me to move over.

Ponyboy climbed in bed with me and laid down. "What are we doing up this early?"

Darry laughed at him. "We got work to do to move these rooms around."

Ponyboy looked at me waiting for an outburst. When I didn't respond he figured I must have cooled down about the idea. Soda wandered into the kitchen and made himself a glass of chocolate milk and we all laughed at his hair that was sticking up on one side of his head.

Before we worked Darry made us all breakfast. He was right too. Moving the rooms and cleaning everything took practically the whole day, even with Dally and Johnny's help as they wandered in just before lunch.

Monday I looked so hard for James at school that I think a group of  
Socs by my locker thought I was paranoid. After school I stayed and watched Ponyboy run track. Neither of us were surprised when he won his race.

Tuesday was the same at school and now Ponyboy had his track team meets and practice after school. Johnny and I stayed to watch him so he would have someone to walk home with. It was nice to sit in the warm spring sun and finish my homework. Johnny sat with me too. He liked to watch the practices and competition, but he was shy like me and never got involved in anything.

When we walked home we asked Johnny to stay for dinner. He never refused free food. Plus his parents never cooked meals for anyone but themselves.

"Hey ya'll!" Ponyboy yelled to greet Darry, Soda and Dally who were all home.

"Hey!" Darry yelled, "Come here Scout."

I walked into the kitchen as Dally was walking out. Soda was sitting at the table and Darry was leaned up against the kitchen counter with a letter in his hand. When he had my attention he handed it over to me. "Came in the mail today."

I immediately recognized the handwriting on the outside of the envelope. "It's from James." I sat down at the table with Soda.

"Why don't you open it and let us know what it says." Soda took a drink of his chocolate milk and waited for me to read the letter out loud. So I did.

_Scout,_

_Have you any idea how much it hurts me to see you everyday and know that you aren't talking to me or caring about me? I see you at school and in your house, smiling and laughing with everyone and I can't stand that I am not there with you. _

I stopped reading and looked up at Darry who had a look of shock on his face. At that moment I felt like I was being watched. I turned to see if anyone was lingering in the bushes outside the kitchen window. "You were right Darry, he was watching me this weekend."

Soda stood up. "I'm gonna kill the bastard."

Darry tried to think through the situation. "Just calm down Soda."

"Uh uh! What do you want to do Darry? Just wait for him to jump out and get her sometime when she is all alone?" Sodapop argued and twitched with adrenaline as he stood by Darry.

"She aint ever going to be all alone." Darry reasoned. "The gang'll make sure of that."

I looked at the two of them. "Why don't we just call the cops?"

"No." Darry said. "If we call the cops the State will learn about it and I aint taking the risk that they won't just pull everyone out of here. What's the rest of the letter say?"

I looked back at the letter and read.

_You are everything I ever wanted in a girl, sweet, smart and loving. Won't you please come back to me? I never meant to make you mad by getting you that ring. I didn't even want to be there that night the boys went thieving, but I was so I wanted it to mean something. I wish you would believe me and forgive me. I miss you. _

_James_

"I think someone is going to have to have a talk with that boy." Soda cracked his knuckles as Darry put his hand on Soda's chest to keep him from running out of the room.

"No Soda! You aint running over there looking for a fight. We don't know what is going through this kid's head and we probably shouldn't make him mad."

"Darry let's just teach him that he doesn't mess with our family." Soda was so upset his cheeks were getting flush as he smiled slyly. "Come on … Dally, me and you can go over there and have a little man to man talk with him."

Darry looked calmly at him. "Yeah and maybe that's just what he wants. For us to leave Scout alone long enough for him to show up."

The thought of being followed or watched made my stomach feel sick. Soda accepted Darry's reasoning and decision so they made a plan for me to be with one of the guys at all time. Pony, Johnny and Dally all made a pact to watch out for me, even though Dally had plans to go look for the punk later. He had been looking for James for a week to pay him back for hitting Sylvia.


	17. Chapter seventeen

Chapter seventeen 

Darry woke early Saturday morning out of instinct that he thought something was wrong. He walked out of his new bedroom and noticed the front door was sitting wide open. As he walked through the house to close it he looked around for any of the gang to see if they were sleeping in the spare bed or on the couch. No one.

Before closing the door Darry looked outside in the early morning sun and noticed my loafer sitting on the porch floor. He stepped outside to pick it up then panicked as he pieced together the possibility that something awful had happened to me. Holding the shoe he ran back through the house to my bedroom and yelled my name. "Scout?" He turned the corner to my room and noticed my pillow on the floor near the door, the sheet draping off the bed and my quilt and me missing. "Scout?"

Darry's heart began to pound against his chest muscles as he jolted across the hall to the boy's bedroom. When Darry shoved the door open he narrowly missed Sodapop who was headed out to see what the commotion was about. The two brothers came face to face as Ponyboy climbed out of bed to find out what the problem was.

"I can't find Scout!" Incidents from the past week rapidly flew through the brother's heads. Especially the third letter sent from James saying he would do anything to be with me. Thinking about this sent horror into their veins and pumped it through their bodies. Ponyboy let out a little gasp that summed up everyone's worries.

Pony and Soda flew out of the room and did the obvious thing by checking my bedroom again. Darry told them about the bedding trail, the shoe and the front door. Pony spoke what each of them were thinking. "You don't suppose he took her?"

They attempted to answer that question by running out the front door and into the yard to search for more clues. Pony and Darry searched the yard and Sodapop ran out into the street. Soda walked past the passenger's side of the truck and the colors of my quilt inside caught his eye. "I found her!" He yelled and pulled the door open as the other brothers ran to see.

Soda reached in to shake my body. He closed his eyes and hoped that the scene underneath the cover was nothing more than just me sleeping. "Scout! Scout wake up."

I didn't move so Sodapop climbed into the cab as Darry and Ponyboy pulled open the driver's side door to help.

Sodapop pulled the cover off of my head and touched my warm cheek. "Scout!" He yelled one more time and my eye's popped open.

I had no idea where I was or how I got there so in a panic I sat up and looked around. Thankfully my brother's were there to calm my nervous feeling. "Where am I?"

"You're in the truck." Soda told me and asked. "How the hell did you get in here?"

I looked back at the house and at my quilt. "I don't know?" I pulled the cover back and noticed I only had one shoe on. Then I wondered why I had my shoes on at all.

"You were sleep walking again!" Darry proclaimed with agitation in his voice. "Get on out of there and everyone into the house!" Then he handed me my missing shoe.

The three of us followed Darry's order and collected in the living room. I thought about all the times Darry had snapped at Ponyboy for waking everyone up with his nightmares and now it was my turn. I braced myself for the irrational speech.

"I don't know what is wrong with you two but these nighttime things have got to stop!" Darry's tone was of concern and I was wrong about his anger getting the best of him again. "I don't know what to do, but I can't have Ponyboy screaming all night and you walking all over the house and not knowing where or why you are going there." Darry sat back in the armchair and truly looked perplexed.

"Darry?" I spoke up softly not sure if opinions were something that he was accepting. "You know I agree with switching rooms and all, but when I was in my own room I never slept walked."

Darry looked back at me and knew that was true, but there was one other element as well. "Yeah and you weren't getting letters from that boy either." Darry ran his fingers through his hair and thought to himself while the three of us waited quietly. "Pony and Scout I want both of you out of here today getting a lot of fresh air and exercise. Get your homework done this morning. After lunch we are going to play a hard game of football then I want you to go out and have some fun somewhere with the gang."

Sodapop offered up and invitation. "Steve and I were gonna take the girls to the drive in so you two can tag along with us." Ponyboy and I shared a glance and we knew how happy Steve would be to have the two kids along on date night.

"Darry you ought to come with us." I told him.

"Nah, you all go out and I am going to enjoy some peace and quiet here at home."

I looked over at Darry and the boys got the same idea in their head as I did. "Peace and quiet wouldn't happen to be about five foot nine with blond hair and answers to Kathryn?"

A wide grin spread itself across Darry's face.

By afternoon the gang had showed up to play football and after dinner we were all set to head down to the nightly double. The drive in wasn't more than a twenty minute walk from our house and since the weather was nice we decided to walk. Along the way we stopped so the boys could buy some cigarettes and beer.

I loved hanging with the gang. We were a family and in a family anything goes so along the way we made fun of each other, horsed around a bit and talked till the sun started to set. That was when Ponyboy, Johnny and I all hung back and quietly watched the light recede and the colors grace the sky.

The sky went dark as the gang neared the drive in. I looked at the line of cars waiting to get in. I thought about all of the kids driving their parent's cars or their cars and wondered if they realized how lucky I thought they were. Absently I headed down the road away from the gang to the entrance gate when Dally whistled for me.

"Hey stupid? Where you wandering off to?" Dally trotted over to me and grabbed me behind the neck to push me back in the direction we were all headed. "We're going in the back way."

I didn't argue at first because the playful pressure Dally was applying to my neck actually hurt a bit. As we walked through the weeds to the side of the drive in I began to feel guilty about sneaking into the movie. I watched the gang gather around the little spot along the fence where so many greasers slid under the chain link to avoid paying for the show.

Steve was the first one under and then Soda. I wasn't surprised because they were like Two-Bit and Dally. Not one of them had a conscious when it came to stealing things or trespassing. What surprised me was when Evie wriggled under the fence and Sandy followed with out one ounce of hesitation. The two girls seemed to enjoy the fact that they had broken the law along with their men. Plus it was date night so as soon as the four of them were on their feet they headed over to watch the movie. "See ya'll inside." Steve yelled out.

I stood outside the fence and watched Ponyboy slide under, then Johnny. I thought about the money Darry had given all of us for the evening. To me it was senseless to trespass into the movie.

Dally reached over and pushed me lightly toward the makeshift entrance. "After you Sissy." I was sure he called me sissy because he could sense my hesitation.

"I think I am just going to walk around and pay to get in."

"Are you serious?" Dally glared at me. "Just climb under the fence, the movie will have started by the time you walk all the way around."

I looked over at Ponyboy who was using his "tough guy" stance and smoking a cigarette.

I tried to be cool too. "That's ok, I'll meet you all inside."

"Scout just climb under." Pony told me. When he was with Dally he always acted a little tougher than he really was.

"Why? Darry gave us all enough money to get in. If he wanted us to sneak in he would have told us too."

Dally became agitated. "Listen, do whatever you want. I'm going in." With that he slid under the fence and joined Ponyboy and Johnny who were still waiting for me to make a decision to come in the wrong way.

Ponyboy walked over to the fence and hooked his fingers in the metal netting to pressure me to the other side. "Come on Sissy, Darry aint gonna care and if we stand here any longer and wait for you we are going to get caught, so hurry up! Would ya?"

Two-Bit took a swig of his beer. "Don't worry about it Pony, I'll walk around with her."

Dally through his head back and groaned. "Oh come on Two-Bit! Quit babying her!"

Two-Bit looked over at me. "No, if she wants to walk all the way around I'll walk with her."

Ponyboy pushed away from the fence and muttered. "Nice going Scout." My brother put his cigarette to his lips and walked over to join Dally and Johnny who were walking away.

I thought about the disappointment in my brother's face and then looked over at Two-Bit. I thought about what he said about loosening up and living a little. I sighed, shook my head and called out to my brother. "Just wait a second." I walked over to the little ditch and awkwardly crawled under the fence. On the other side Dally and Ponyboy grabbed me under the armpits and hoisted me to my feet. While I brushed the dirt off my clothes Two-Bit crawled under as well. When everyone was on their feet Dally gave me a playful slap on the back and Two-Bit rubbed my head. "That-a-girl!"

The six of us walked in the dark through the cars when suddenly the sky lit up as the movie began. The hazy blue projection made everything visible again and I was glad we weren't still standing by the fence. Dally, Ponyboy and Johnny walked ahead of me smoking cigarettes and working on looking tuff and Two-Bit was making social stops along the way behind me. My attention was focused on the picture show when I thought I heard my name called out. I turned to notice Jon Weston's car and the rear passenger's door open up while a boy crawled across the passenger in the back. "Scout wait up!" The voice yelled again.

My ears recognized the voice and my eyes confirmed that it was James running toward me. I froze still, not knowing what to do or say. James stopped next to me smiling, grabbed my hand and leaned in close as if he was going to kiss my cheek. I quickly stepped backwards.

James held tight to my hand and rubbed the side of my face with his free fingers. "Scout it's you… I can't believe I am right here with you again! I've missed you so much!"

I looked over James shoulder and noticed his date coming towards us, Cindy. "Yeah, sure looks like you've missed me." I don't know why, but I was agitated that he had decided to take her out on a date. "Just let me go. "

James' intensity rose as he took a quick glance at Cindy and he knew he shouldn't have been with her. "Scout, I just couldn't stand to be alone anymore, but I don't need her, I need you. She means nothing to me."

Cindy was close enough to hear his speech and she cussed him out.

I wiggled to get my hand loose but James held tighter. "Let me go!" I screamed louder this time. "Let me go right now!"

I looked over and heard the boys coming back my way with Dally leading the charge

"Get the hell away from her!" Dally yelled out

"Yeah just leave her alone James." Two-Bit's voice called from the other direction.

James ignored them both and looked me in the eyes as if we were just engaged in casual conversation. He grabbed my wrist to keep me from getting away.

"How have you been? Huh? I was thinking…"

The boy didn't have time to finish as Dallas Winston rushed in between James and I and pushed him backwards onto the hood a car. As James fell back he kept his grip on my wrist pulling me along with.

"Let me go!" I yelled out as Dally punched James in the face. The crowd of bystanders began to thicken and James was forced to let go of my wrist to defend himself. I saw James raise his arms up to protect his face as Dally threw a second punch. I worried that Dally may get in trouble for beating the boy up so I grabbed Dally's arm hoping to stop him from attacking anymore and screamed. "Dally that's good! Just leave him alone!"

Before I could see what Dally's decision was I heard Cindy's voice yell out as she grabbed a large handful of my hair and pulled me out into an open area. "You witch!" For a second I lost my footing and the only thing keeping me up was the fist full of hair as I felt strands began to rip from my scalp. I found my feet and stood up to get a slap in the face from my attacker. I was ready to defend myself when I heard Johnny's voice and then recognized his jean jacket as he squeezed between the two of us and grabbed hard onto Cindy's wrist to force her to let go of me. Once her grip was free Johnny pushed her backwards telling her to just cool it. I felt an arm reach around my waist and looked up to see Ponyboy keeping me close to him for my protection.

I tossed the hair out of my face and noticed a stand off between Dally and Two-Bit and the Weston boys and James.

"This isn't over!" Dally declared. "You tell your boy to stay away from our sis."

"Damn straight it isn't over." Jon Weston declared, he and Dally didn't care too much for each other. "Midnight, our gang against yours in the vacant lot in your neighborhood."

Dally grinned from ear to ear. "Alright we'll have it out in the lot then." Dally loved the thought of a fight. He knew he was tough and a fight was the best way for him to prove it to himself and the world.

Two-Bit, Dally and Johnny moved to stand next to Ponyboy and me. The crowd that was watching began to dissipate as friends of each side started making plans to be there for the rumble between my family and Sheppard's gang.

As the boys made plans I watched as James and Cindy walk back to Jon's car. I could tell she was yelling at him about something and then she hit him in the face and he pushed her into the car. I shook my head and wondered why he had ever decided to go out with that tramp. Ponyboy released his hold on me and I looked over at Dally. "Exactly what are you all fighting about at midnight?"

Dally looked back my way not believing that I was that dense when it came to why the rumble was called. "We're fighting for you."

Confusion filled my face and I commented sarcastically, "That's just stupid Dally. What if they win? Do I have to go and live with them?"

Rational discussion about rumbles was always out of place and just seemed to confuse poor Dally. "Don't worry about it Scout. They aint going to win, and when they lose that boy will know better then to bother you again." Dally lit up a cigarette. "Come on lets go find Steve and Sodapop."


	18. Chapter eighteen

**Chapter eighteen**

The five of us weaved through the parked cars and walked over to the plastic chairs that were set up in rows for movie viewers. Sodapop's smile lit up when he saw us coming. "Where the heck have you all been?"

One by one the boys hopped over the metal bar that outlined the chairs and I climbed under it. Two-Bit was the first to speak. His face had lost it's laughter and his eyes were serious and ready for a fight. "We ran into Scout's boy James. There was a scuffle…"

Soda jumped from his chair. "Sissy you alright?"

I had already sat down in the front row between Johnny and Ponyboy. "Yeah I'm fine. James didn't do anything to me." I rubbed my cheek, "It was that girl Cindy who slapped me."

Soda knelt down in front of me on one knee and looked at my face for any marks. "You look ok."

"Yeah she just pulled my hair then Johnny helped me out."

"Thanks Johnnycakes." Soda messed up Johnny's hair and was truly thankful that Johnny had been there for me.

Johnny's dirty face blushed a little as he fought off Soda's hand. "No problem Soda."

"That aint all though." Two-Bit stated smoothly. "Dally jumped James and a couple of guys wanted to get inot it and weren't able to finish the fight, so were all gonna meet up at the vacant lot at midnight to settle the score."

"Good!" Soda stated and stood up as the wind caught his shirttails, "I'm looking forward to beating that kid's face in."

I watched silently as the group cheered Soda on. I thought about James and compared the James everyone knew to the James I think he really wanted to be. In another time or another place he may have been the popular boy. Good at sports, charming smile. What if we weren't in Tulsa? What if we lived in a smaller town far away from the big city? In a smaller town James could have done well in school, wouldn't have been with a gang that robbed and fought and drank too much. Maybe he would have been the boy I wanted him to be, the perfect boy for me.

No one really sat still to watch the movie except me and Ponyboy. The other guys were talking to friends. Letting them know the score that was being settled and just getting themselves psyched up for the fight. Before the movie had ended Steve, Dally and Soda were so pumped up that they couldn't sit still anymore and we all left early.

As the group walked back to our neighborhood I pulled on Ponyboy's arm to have him stay back a step or two. Johnny stepped back with him, but I didn't mind. I talked low so the others wouldn't hear me. "Ponyboy I'm confused. One minute I am scared of James and the next I feel bad for him."

Pony scrunched up his lip and questioned. "Why would you feel bad for him."

"Because I hurt him and he still really cares for me." I looked over at Johnny and threw my arms into the air. "Now there is going to be this big fight and the whole thing is just stupid!"

Johnny laughed a little, "It aint stupid Scout. Besides, the guys are all looking forward to the fight."

"Yeah." Pony confirmed Johnny's response.

I sighed and looked down at the sidewalk as it passed below my feet. I just didn't understand the need to fight all the time.

Johnny tried to rationalize the situation for me. "That boy has coming to him and he's gonna get it tonight. It aint fair you havin' to hide out in your house and be followed by him all the time."

"Yeah!" Pony supported his friend. "And you don't even know if he is there. That's the spooky part. He's just creepy Scout." Ponyboy was right about James, I guess if I had listened to Pony from the beginning none of this would have happened at all.

The three of us sped up to be closer to the gang as we walked Sandy and Evie home, because a rumble is no place for a man's girl to be. I guess sisters who can't leave your side are a different story.

At the lot everyone was hyped up before the fight was scheduled to begin. Steve and Johnny had a few fires lit to illuminate the area and all of the recruits from the movie had arrived. You would think they were at a Labor Day picnic instead of getting ready to beat the tar out of the next group of guys who showed up.

On the other side of the lot I climbed up on one of the tire swings that my father had hung years ago. I sat on the top of the tire and held onto the rope. My memories drifted back to when I was young and could sit inside the tire with my knees tucked into my chest. From my perch I could see Ponyboy and Johnny laughing with Steve and I wondered what they thought was so funny. The joke was unveiled to me quick as Two-Bit and Sodapop came running out of the shadows and pushed the tire swing over their heads. I screamed out, half in fear and half in joy, as the tire rapidly moved back past it's initial resting point. I could feel the warm air pass through my hair and I laughed.

"Look out Sissy! It's a twister!" Two-Bit laughed.

"Nooooo! Don't you dare Two-Bit!"

Despite my request Sodapop hit one part of the tire when it swung back to him sending the tire swirling in circles.

"Knock it off Soda!" I yelled, still laughing like a child.

Two-bit joined in the action and the two of them continued to hit the tire as the rope twisted up. Years ago we came up with this game, kind of like teether ball with a tire swing. Together the people on the ground wind the tire up while it was swinging. Eventually the tire is swinging and swirling so bad that the rider either jumps off or gets sick from spinning out of control. I begged for the twister to stop but neither boy seemed to care.

I don't know if you have ever tried to jump from a swinging twisting tire, but it isn't easy. I tried to climb off by stepping into the tire. I reached my foot down as Two-Bit pushed the tire again sending it into orbit. My laughter and the spinning crippled my senses and I lost my grip on the rope. I fell about five feet, straight to the ground and landed flat on my back.

My breath escaped me as Soda ran to my side. "Sissy you ok?"

I couldn't answer.

"Sissy?" Soda's face had turned to concern and Two-Bit appeared over my brother's shoulder. "Did ya knock the wind out of yourself?"

Finally breath filled my lungs and the pain of the fall started to enter my senses. I reached up and slapped Sodapop's arm. "I didn't knock the wind out of myself, you knocked the wind out of me!"

Both of the guys laughed and helped me up from the ground. I tried to stand, but my brain was still spinning. To help me out Two-Bit offered me a piggy back ride and carried me over to where the gang was hanging out. Ponyboy was still laughing at my fall when we arrived.

I sat down on an old seat from the backseat of a car and looked over at him. "I don't know why you all are so worried about James when you are quite capable of killing me yourself!" My comment brought more laughter as we all chatted and waited for the rumble to begin.

A short while later the first of three car loads arrived. Dally told me I better get lost so I headed back over to the tire swing. The gang knew I didn't need to be around during the fight, but I also wasn't suppose to be any where without the gang so I had to stay close by. When my dad first hung the tire it was low to the ground because we were all very small. Over the years Steve had shortened the rope to raise the tire by tying knots into the rope. Now the knots made it easy to climb the rope into the tree. I wiggled up the rope and positioned myself on a strong thick branch. I watched as the boys stood tough and gathered as if there was an imaginary line between the two gangs holding them back. I had never seen a rumble so it was hard to understand the intensity of the situation.

When the final group of boys came to the line I watched Dally step forward and I strained to here what he was saying. "Rules are this is a fair fight. If we win your boy there…" Dallas pointed to James who Sodapop had positioned himself in front of. "Never speaks to our girl or follows her or nothing! Last man standing wins. Am I clear?"

Jon Weston had stepped forward for Sheppard's gang. I wondered why as I looked through the crowd for Tim or Curly, neither of them were there. "If we win our boy is allowed to talk to your girl all he wants… anytime, anyplace. Savvy?"

"Savvy." Dallas said and he took another step toward Jon and stared him down. I wondered how the boys would know the rumble was suppose to start. I guess I expected them to yell out, ready set go.

Quietly the group waited a few more seconds then Sodapop stepped forward unannounced and punched James in the face knocking him to the ground. This strike caused a chain reaction and in no time all of the boys were in a mangled mess punching and kicking and throwing each other around.

A minute into the fight I heard the familiar rumble of Darry's truck come down the road. I wondered if he would see the note Soda left on the table, _rumbling in the lot_, and get upset, but Darry wasn't stupid. From above I could see that he didn't stop the truck at our house, instead he headed straight for the firelight. As he pulled the truck to a stop he jumped out and ran toward the mangled crowd. Before he threw a punch our brother checked in with Soda and Pony before picking James up off the ground and working him over good. In a moment James was unconscious and neither of my brothers had remorse.

Slowly the fighters began to fall or run. Some of our recruits and some of theirs. From above I noticed something special about my gang. They seemed to take care of each other, even in a rumble. This style of fighting meant my boys were the last men standing as Sheppard's gang walked away and hauled away their injured men, including James. I sat up in the tree and was so proud of them. Just like they had been proud of me.

Below Ponyboy, Sodapop, Steve, Johnny, Two-Bit, Dally and Darry collected together to cheer and be sure everyone was ok. Knowing the fight was over I climbed down from my hiding spot and walked toward my family. Soda saw me coming and ran toward me with his bloody lip and reddened cheek. Unfazed by the injuries he threw his arm about me and squeezed tightly. "We won girl. It's all going to be alright now."

His words lingered in my mind as we walked back to the house. I wanted everything to be alright, after the last few months I needed everything to be alright!"

Back at the house the guys got a little wilder after open wounds were mended and the pain from bruises began to subside. The healing process was helped by some as they popped open some cold beers that Two-Bit had bought at the grocery store. Soda made a fresh chocolate cake and then everyone hung out, listened to the radio and horsed around.

At about one thirty in the morning the buzzer in the kitchen signaled the chocolate cake was done cooling. Darry got up from the living room to mix the frosting and I quietly followed him. I watched as he pulled the sugars and coco out of the cabinet. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed me smiling at him and cautiously smiled back. "What?"

"Oh … I was just wondering how things went with you and Kathryn tonight." I bit my lower lip and tried to suppress the grin that was popping onto my face.

Darry reached over to open the stick of butter that had been softening. He laughed a little but didn't look at me. "Things went well."

I waited a moment but Darry didn't elaborate. "That's it! That's all you are going to tell me?"

Darry leaned back against the kitchen counter and threw his hands into the air. "What do you want me to say? It was a good date."

I threw my head back wishing Darry would open up with me more like Pony and Soda would. "Come on Darry! Are you two going steady or in love?" I pleaded hoping to hear that he and Kathryn were more than just friends or lovers.

Darry's face stayed casual as he grinned. "No Scout. We aren't going steady and I don't think we are in love." My face frowned, I wanted them to be in love. Darry's face turned more serious. "Scout I aint got time for love like Soda or you. I have way too much to worry about without throwing a woman into the mix … and Kathryn knows that, I've told her."

I fake pouted by slamming my foot down. "Darn it Darry! I want Kathryn to come around more."

"I know you do." Darry dumped the butter and sugar into the bowl and began to mix it. "But it aint gonna happen the way you want it to, so just forget about it."

I shook my head at my brother and wondered how he didn't get filled with rushes of emotion like the rest of us. I wondered if Kathryn was in love with him and if he was just slowly breaking her heart.

I yawned big and told Darry I was headed off to bed. Slowly I wandered down the dark hallway to my bedroom. I changed into my night clothes and climbed under the covers. As the moonlight pushed through the slats in the blinds I thought about all that had happened in the past few months.

Officially becoming a woman, my first dance, my first date, my first kiss, having my first drink, my first fight. Everything was changing so fast and it felt like my life was spiraling out of control. I was growing up and I didn't even realize it. With the turning of one age I had new freedoms. With new freedoms I felt more pressures to be just like everyone else but I couldn't find a place to fit in. I didn't see myself as a greaser girl, but I lived in their world so is that who I was or who I was suppose to be? The various thoughts about how I had come of age so quickly stared to blur in my head as I drifted off to a deep restful sleep.

_The End Coming of Age_

_Please continue to the next edition of this story, Escalation._

**Coming of Age, Author's notes and deleted scenes**

Coming of Age was an interesting and very fun piece to write because I didn't have a framework that was set with a beginning and definite end like I had with Family Bond.

My original opening was the birthday party scene, which is now chapter six. I thought about starting at that point, but once I did I just felt there were too many gaps so I came up with the grieving part for the first few chapters. At first I wasn't sure about that and didn't like it much, but the more I read it the more in my mind it becomes a great introduction. We see Scout depressed and angry which is a natural part of the grieving process. She even snaps at Soda and he gets angry with her. Which I think is an important part of the scene because most everyone adores Sodapop and no matter how much you love your sibling you are still going to fight with them.

I like my story titles to be the driving subject of my writing so I knew I wanted Scout to experience a lot of "firsts" just like young girls do. So Coming of Age is the whole point of what I chose to write about.

First kiss - Going to the party and seeing James was a must. I knew Scout would have her first kiss there, but I didn't know how to keep the kiss from escalating so in walks Two-Bit. He is the perfect show stopper!

First fight - Originally the fight between Cindy and Scout happened in that backroom at the party. I deleted it because I wanted more character building for both Cindy and James. I needed to show how trashy Cindy was so Scout didn't look like a hood when she fought her. Fighting at the football game just seemed to work out better. It allowed Scout time to feel confusion over James. It also gave me the opportunity to make Cindy more annoying!

**Deleted scene from the backroom at the party: **

_James stood up from leaning in towards me and threw his hands in the air. "Alright if you don't need any company…."_

_I smiled back at him. "I didn't say I wouldn't enjoy the company." _

"_Cool." He said. "Why don't I go find you a cold Pepsi then."_

"_I'd like that." I said and James walked away being sure to rub my hand with his as he left the room. Him touching my skin sent unfamiliar sensations thought my body. I watched him walk into the kitchen and then turned back to the room to find a black hair greaser girl waiting to confront me._

"_What was that all about?" She snorted and smacked her gum._

_I was naïve and a little confused by the question. "Nothing…he's just going to get me a Pepsi." My polite smile was wasted on the girl._

"_Listen here ya little hussy." She continued to smack her gum as she got sassier._ _"You're gonna need to wait your turn because I've had my eye on him since he moved in here, ya hear me?" _

"_OK?" I answered unsure of what she thought was going on. "He's just getting me a cola."_

"_Yeah right, whatever?" One of the girl's friends had come by her side. "Aren't you that girl he was dancing with at the bowling alley a few weeks ago?"_

_Having not gotten out of the house much I was surprised by how observant and possessive these girls were. I was stunned by why it mattered that I had danced with him and I forgot to answer._

"_See Cindy! I told you." The friend continued. "She's the reason he won't go out with you. This is the girl." _

"_Are you that girl?" Cindy asked and poked me hard in the chest with her index finger._

_I pressed up against the wall and tried to excuse myself. "Would you excuse me please, I'm gonna go…" I tried to step away into the doorway but Cindy grabbed a handful of my t-shirt and tugged me back into the room. _

"_He's mine! Ya hear me?" _

"_Yeah fine, whatever." I rolled my eyes and tried to pull away again and the girl slapped me in the face._

_I was shocked by the attack and before I could think to react Johnnycakes had stepped into the fight and pushed Cindy away. "Leave her alone." He seemed to growl and there was a defensive glare in his eye. Johnny Cade, who wouldn't hurt anyone or even stand up to his abusive parents, was on his feet defending me._

_Ponyboy stood by backing Johnny up if he needed it. _

_Cindy and her friend grabbed their purses and stormed past us out of the room. "Tramp!" Cindy hissed as she passed by me. I didn't know what to think. All I could think about was her using the word tramp out of context. I knew what a tramp was, and it wasn't me! _

"_What did you say to her?" Pony asked and he seemed a little embarrassed that I had caused such a scene._

_I thought about the situation. "Nothing… She came up to me!" _

_James came up behind the three of us. He had seen the entire altercation. "Don't worry about it Ponyboy. Cindy is just a whore looking for trouble. I'll look after Scout for_ _you." _

Now reading it again I particularly like what I wrote about Johnny here. I should have used this for the drive in fight:

"_Leave her alone." He seemed to growl and there was a defensive glare in his eye. Johnny Cade, who wouldn't hurt anyone or even stand up to his abusive parents, was on his feet defending me._

First boyfriend – this was a big one! I liked James. I wanted to write him as a sweetheart, but that just wasn't dramatic enough so I had to ruin him. Oh the agony! James and Scout's relationship is the running theme through the story, but totally unplanned. There were many points in James character that I had to keep him from being kind and nice. One of those is the junkyard scene, which is discussed later.

First drink- I figured it was just one drink so it wouldn't tarnish her reputation too bad.

First encouter with the socs – just wetting the whistle with that one! Stay tuned!

With the introduction of two new characters, James and Kathryn, I knew I needed them to grow with the story too.

James was a difficult one. I didn't want James and Scout to actually start to date steady. So I had to make a fast character change. Now the problem was trying to figure out a way to break them up.

This thought process led to a major change in the junkyard scene. (The junkyard scene was just a place for a bad first date. Then after reading it I thought – wait! What if she finds her parents car… you know how the rest turned out) Originally James was sweet and extremely concerned with Scout's well being when he found her crying by the car:

**Deleted scene:**

_James stuffed the paper bag and purse back into the picnic basket and carried it for me while we walked back to the car where Curly and Jon were smoking a cigarette. _

"_Come on ladies we gotta get outta here if you know what I mean!" Curly drawled and noticed the tears and red eyes. "Whoa! Who died?" Ponyboy and I both shot Curly a look and even his dense brain was able to figure out what he had said wrong. "Oh yeah… sorry." Silently we climbed into the car and rode home, the only conversation was about the amount of car parts that Curly got with his five finger discount. _

_Outside the house Pony told the guys goodbye and headed into the house. James crawled out of the car and handed the basket to me. I had forgotten all about it until that moment. "So I'll see ya around, ok Scout?" _

"_Yeah.. I"ll see ya…" I said but didn't really know what I had said because my mind was once again on the basket and the note from my parents. _

_James leaned in and kissed my cheek. I turned and walked into the house where Ponyboy was pacing in the living room waiting for me. "Is that mom's basket?"_

_I shook my head yes and began to cry again. "Pony…. I …I found this." I handed my box and note over to Ponyboy. While he read the note I told him about the other box in the bag and that I was sure it was for him. _

_Together we sat on the couch as he took the small paper box out of the bag and opened it. Inside was a pocket watch and a folded note with a message just for Pony. _

_Ponyboy,_

_As you grow older don't forget that time is running short to enjoy being a kid. Don't rush to grow up to fast and always remember that we love you with all our hearts every minute of the day._

Happy Birthday and Love, Mom and Dad

_Together we cried and held on to our gifts until the sound of Steve's car outside reminded us that Soda was back from work. Pony and I waited on the couch as Steve, Soda and Sandy came into the house. Without fail Soda noticed our sorrow and was instantly alarmed. _

"_Oh… you guys what happened?"_

_I looked at Ponyboy and saw he was going to tell our brother. "We went with Sheppard and some guys to the west end salvage yard and … Scout….she found mom and dad's car."_

_Soda sat on the edge of the coffee table and his jaw dropped at the news. "Their car? What was it like? How bad was it?" Soda didn't wait for an answer as he popped up to his feet. "Let's go Steve, I want to see it…. You two coming?"_

After reading and rereading and rereading the scene above I really wanted to change it s

so that James was more aloof and Ponyboy and Scout weren't written as such bawl babies. I really got stuck on the junkyard scene and had to spend many days reviewing it in my head to decide the direction I wanted the story to go in. It was truly a pivotal point for me as a writer.

I knew I wanted Soda to see the car so I had to come up with a plan. That is when I decided James would care just enough to go tell Soda. In fictional reality James cared a lot for Scout, but the pressures from his gang and being with his gang made it so he couldn't really express his true emotions or his true self. I hoped through Scout's eyes the reader was able to believe that James was trapped in his society and didn't have the strength to break free from the hoodlum world he was expected to be a part of.

Getting rid of James had to be dynamic to change the way people felt about him. At first many reviews were cheering for James, but as the evil began they drifted away from him, much like Scout did. I felt the best way to get rid of him was to make him into a criminal, because Scout would detest that the most.

As a writer I still wasn't able to let him go so he lingered as a stalker who is truly caught in a state of despair over losing Scout. She was perfect for him, but he couldn't seem to win the girl over. I don't think James would ever hurt Scout, even though many reviewers were expecting that to happen. (Which I love to know! Reviews help so much in telling the writer how the reader is interpreting the story!)

Kathryn is still an open book. She is around and crazy for Darry, but he had a distant quality about him when it comes to some things. I write Darry so that he sort of reflects the way Ponyboy sees him in the book and I also like to think of Darry as truly caring. He really has to be caring to take on the duties of raising his siblings. Kathryn also adds a Soc character to the mix, and I am not sure how that will blend into the Curtis family structure. I am still thinking on that one. I have pages of ideas so we will see if Kathryn gets more print time.

I loved bringing Mrs Marten back for a boo hiss session! Plus it added a stress to Scout's life and gave me the opportunity to make her a little bit of a sassy girl, which is a characteristic of all 14 year old girls! (whether they admit is or not.) As Scout goes through changes her moods would swing like that, so it was nice to make her a bit of a handful for Darry and not totally angelic and always righteous, which she isn't.

I like writing Soda, Darry and Two-Bit, those two are by far the easiest for me. Ponyboy and Johnny are easy, but quiet in nature so they generally don't say a lot and sometimes it is hard to add them to a scene. Steve isn't hard, but he isn't my favorite either. It is funny because if Steve is talking with Soda I can write him well, but if he is just talking with Scout or in the scene I struggle with him a little. Dally is by far my biggest challenge and for that we see him very little. Plus I don't see Dally as caring too much to be with Scout unless he has to.

Well I could go on and on with notes and chapters, but I feel the need to stop. Coming of Age is over, but I have pages ready to go in the next installment of the soap opera, which is Scout's life! THANKS to all who read and enjoy this story. You are now my audience and I hope to make you smile, cry, laugh and sigh!

Thanks, Erin


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